


Anger Management

by Zenece



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 13:10:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 48,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1267657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenece/pseuds/Zenece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>B'Elanna's volatile behavior gets her in trouble.  Again.<br/>Janeway comes up with an alternative punishment...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anger Management

**Author's Note:**

> Set during Season 4 & 5.  
> Contains plot elements and/or aliens from episodes in these seasons.
> 
>  
> 
> This work consists of 11 parts.

~PART ONE~

“Lieutenant Torres, report to my Ready Room now.”

B’Elanna Torres swallowed hard and cursed.   
She’d expected the summon, but still…

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders. A determined, almost grim expression set on her face, lips pursed, dark eyes blazing. Mentally prepping herself for a meeting with a less than pleased Captain, B’Elanna stalked through the corridors of Voyager.

~

As the silence went on, B’Elanna kept staring at a certain point on the wall located slightly above Janeway’s head. The Captain sat behind her desk, leaning back in her chair, her intense gaze firmly fixed on her Chief Engineer’s face.

For quite some time the impasse went on and B’Elanna felt her irritation levels rise. Yet she grinded her teeth together, determined not to give Janeway more ammunition than she already had.   
Fighting hard to keep her breathing under control, she could feel that she was going to lose the battle. It was only a matter of time.

Kathryn Janeway wondered if the feisty Klingon in front of her had any idea how expressive her face was. It clearly showed her frustration and how hard she was fighting to hold back. It was also painfully obvious that this endeavor was a lost cause.   
The Captain remained silent for a little longer, curious how long B’Elanna would manage to keep her Klingon side under control. By the looks of it, she was about to burst.

Finally deciding that the young half-Klingon had endured enough torture, Janeway took a PADD from her desk and activated it.  
“According to this report, you’ve been involved in some kind of fight on the station that resulted in five…” she paused for effect and repeated, “FIVE people ending up in Sickbay. Apparently they were all assaulted by you.”

Janeway consulted her PADD again before she continued in the same disapproving voice. “Two men are still in Sickbay, recovering from their injuries. Two others required dermal regeneration in several places and one man had a broken nose.”

B’Elanna kept her gaze fixed on the wall as the Captain looked at her. 

“And last but not least,” Janeway fulminated, “an important deal with one of the traders on board the station, mister Vetzak, has been cancelled because you deemed it necessary to spit in his face.”

B’Elanna slammed her hands on Janeway’s desk and spat: “That petaQ deserved it, the way he was leering at ensign Jetal! Not to mention he grabbed her ass… It was completely demeaning! He needed to be put in his place!”

Janeway also placed her hands on the desk and stood, her face mere inches from B’Elanna’s.   
“Not in that way, and certainly not by you, Lieutenant.” She replied in a dangerously low   
voice. “As much as I agree with your opinion on Vetzak, and many of the other traders for that matter, your actions can not be tolerated.”

“They treat women like pieces of meat, Captain.” B’Elanna fumed. “Whores with no right to speak, trade or stand up for themselves in any way. Even YOU have been ignored and insulted by those pigs. You’re not even allowed to negotiate with them personally because you’re a woman. I don’t understand how you can defend their ways!”

“This isn’t about their ways, B’Elanna.” Kathryn argued. “We have a Prime Directive that forbids us to interfere, no matter what our personal beliefs are. This is about you being unable to control yourself and behave like a Starfleet Officer should.”

Kathryn sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand.   
“This isn’t the first time you’ve resorted to violence and aggressive behavior to settle your differences B’Elanna, and quite frankly, I’m getting tired of it.” 

She shook her head and looked at the fuming Klingon in front of her.   
“We’ve been through this too many times. You know what I’m going to say. I know what you’re going to say. I reprimand you. You promise you’ll try to work on it in the future. And a month later it’s the same situation all over again.”

Moving from her desk towards the window, Kathryn continued.   
“I’ve tried taking away your privileges, confining you to the brig, demoting you… Obviously to no avail. So I felt it was time for a new approach.” 

Kathryn turned to face B’Elanna before continuing carefully.   
“I believe that you would greatly benefit from an anger management course.”   
She paused as a look of disbelief crossed B’Elanna’s features.   
“I’ve spoken to Tuvok and he’s agreed to help you analyze and deal with all this anger that is inside you.”

“You can’t be serious.” B’Elanna fumed. 

“I’m deadly serious, Lieutenant.” Kathryn replied sternly.

B’Elanna crossed her arms defiantly. “I won’t do it.” 

Janeway sighed. “Yes you will Lieutenant, because I asked Chakotay and Tuvok to move heaven and earth to keep you out of the hands of the Station’s authorities. They promised them you would be properly disciplined on Voyager. Compared to these people’s justice system, which is rather… barbaric when it comes to punishing women, I think you’re getting off light with an anger management course.” She paused. “So unless you prefer to be publicly flogged, I suggest you do exactly as I tell you.”

B’Elanna reigned in her anger, refusing to just give in and grovel.   
“Is that an order?” She spoke through clenched teeth.

“Report to Tuvok at 08h00 tomorrow morning.” Janeway stated, knowing the other woman would do as ordered. “Dismissed.”

~

Janeway sat behind her desk in her Ready Room the next morning when her door chime sounded. 

“Come in.” She stated.

The doors opened and Chakotay and Tuvok entered.

She leaned back. “Gentlemen.” She spoke. “What can I do for you?” 

“We have a problem.” Chakotay began. 

Janeway looked at them expectantly. 

“When Commander Chakotay and I agreed with Vetzak and the authorities that Lieutenant Torres would be properly punished on Voyager for her transgressions, we didn’t stipulate what exactly the punishment would entail.” Tuvok started. “They were under the assumption that it would be a similar corporeal punishment and we made no effort to enlighten them.”

“But now,” Chakotay continued, “it seems that the men B’Elanna injured have the right to be present at the punishment if they want, according to their laws.”

“Unfortunately, they wish to execute that right.” Tuvok added solemnly. “They threatened to cancel all trade agreements with us if we refused. We have twenty-four hours.”

Janeway sighed. “We need some of those supplies badly. We’re as good as stranded without the cortenide ore from Vetzak. Although it will cost us an arm and a leg now, after B’Elanna’s little stunt.”

Chakotay cocked his head. “I doubt they’ll want to finalize that deal after they’ve seen B’Elanna go through nothing but a simple anger management session. They’re expecting blood.”

Tuvok raised one eyebrow. “Given the Lieutenant’s volatile reactions, that prospect is not entirely implausible.” 

Janeway smirked at the Vulcan’s dry humor, but quickly sobered. “So what are our options? Refuse them and lose our deal, or let them come watch and lose our deal as well?” 

Tuvok cocked his head. “There is a third alternative.” He spoke tentatively. 

Not sure she was going to like it, according to the Vulcan’s expression, Janeway motioned for him to continue. “Let’s hear it.” 

“They want blood, we give them blood.” Tuvok stated.

Janeway’s eyebrows rose. “I hope you’re not suggesting…”

“Yes and no.” The Vulcan stated cryptically. “I propose we create a holographic scenario in which a holographic Lieutenant Torres gets punished in a way Vetzak and his fellow traders expect.”

Janeway half-shook her head. “That’s more than risky…” 

“Perhaps.” Tuvok replied. “Yet to our knowledge they are unaware of the existence of holographic technology. It is therefore reasonable to assume they will not expect our ruse to be… a ruse.”

“But if they did find out we pulled the wool over their eyes,” Janeway countered, “not only would we have to high-tail it out of here without any supplies, but we would have also exposed a culture to a technology unknown to them. That’s in direct violation of the Prime Directive.”

Janeway remained quiet for a few minutes, mulling over their limited options. She looked at Chakotay.  
“Do you think we can pull this off?” 

“I think it’s worth a try.” The Commander spoke. “We need the ore, and this is the only way we might still get it.” 

Janeway let out an explosive sigh. “Alright. Let’s do it. Where do we start?”

“We’ll need B’Elanna’s expertise with holographic programming.” Chakotay stated. 

“Very well.” Janeway replied. “Get her and meet us on Holodeck One in fifteen minutes.”

~

“Less than twenty-four hours? That’s impossible.” B’Elanna stated after Janeway had explained their plan.   
“I can easily program an environment, torture equipment and some fake audience.” The half-Klingon engineer elaborated. “But if we want to pull this off, the hologram of myself would have to react physically and emotionally like the ‘real thing’ while being tortured. That’s no small feat. It would take days, weeks even, to get it exactly right.” 

Janeway sighed and looked at her companions. “Everything depends on the believability of this holographic creation. If they suspect in the least we’re deceiving them, we’re done for.” 

There was a pause, as everyone thought of other possibilities. 

“Maybe we don’t need the Hologram.” B’Elanna spoke up. “I could just do it myself.” 

“We’re not in the habit of torturing people, in case you hadn’t noticed, B’Elanna.” Janeway said horrified. 

“No, let me explain.” Torres countered. “Computer, create one Klingon pain stick.” 

The pain stick materialized and B’Elanna picked it up. “Normally these things have one setting and that’s it.” She explained. “But since we’re on the Holodeck, I can set the discharge to any level I want. That way I could be ‘tortured’ with this, but it wouldn’t hurt like it should.” 

“Why can’t we just put the safeties on and not make it hurt at all?” Chakotay asked. 

“Well, it still has to be realistic.” B’Elanna spoke. “If someone prods me with that thing, and I need to act like it hurts, I have to at least feel something in order to make it seem plausible.” 

Janeway shook her head. “I’m not liking this much, B’Elanna.” 

The engineer went over to a console and started adjusting parameters. With a tricorder she scanned the pain stick and nodded satisfactorily.   
She held it out to Janeway, who still seemed skeptical. “There. Prod me with it.” 

The Captain refused to take it. “I will do no such thing, Lieutenant.” 

“Fine.” The engineer held it out to Tuvok. “Will you do the honors?” 

Tuvok nodded and also took the tricorder.   
He proceeded to prod B’Elanna on the right thigh, while scanning the energy output of the stick. 

At the touch, the half-Klingon screamed and doubled over, clutching her leg. 

“B’Elanna!” Janeway yelled in alarm and dropped on her knees to reach out to the huddled form on the floor.

Torres raised her head, eyes gleaming. “I take it that was a good performance?” 

Her heart still beating too fast, Janeway swatted her Lieutenant on the shoulder. “Damn it, B’Elanna. I thought you were really hurt.” 

“That was the idea.” B’Elanna grinned as she helped the Captain up. 

Janeway rolled her eyes and took the pain stick from Tuvok. “Give me that.”   
She turned it and looked it over. “So how much does it really hurt?” 

“It only stings a bit.” B’Elanna answered. 

Not ready to take B’Elanna’s word for it, Janeway squinted at the other woman. She pressed the stick against her own leg and let out a yelp as tears appeared in her eyes. 

“That stings a lot more than just ‘a bit’, Lieutenant.” She spoke, rubbing the sore spot on her leg. “Can’t you turn it down more?” 

B’Elanna shrugged. “It has to be realistic, no? Besides, I’m a Klingon. I have a high pain threshold.” 

“You’re only half-Klingon, as I recall.” Janeway corrected. “And I still have my doubts about all this.” 

“We can pull this off.” Torres spoke with confidence. “I’ll get started on the rest of the holographic programming.” 

~

“I want to make sure we have a back-up plan in case this goes wrong.” Janeway stated when she was back in her Ready Room with Tuvok.

Her Chief of Security nodded. 

“I really want to avoid leaving here without any supplies, but if necessary, we will. I don’t want to put B’Elanna in any more danger than she’ll be in already.” Janeway said, rubbing her brow.

“We can disengage the docking connections in less than five minutes.” Tuvok replied. “That will be the critical factor. Once we can get to high warp, they don’t have the ability to pursue us. Even with the warp coils reaching critical conditions without the overhaul, we should be able to get to a safe distance if nothing else.” 

Janeway sighed. “That would basically leave us stranded wherever we end up. But I guess we don’t have many options. I want to post a security detail with our ‘guests’ at all times. In case of trouble, they will have to be put off the ship as efficiently as possible.” 

“Naturally.” Tuvok concurred. 

“And I want to be present on the Holodeck.” Janeway added. 

Tuvok frowned slightly. “Your presence, as a female, may provoke them even more.” 

“I’ll risk it.” Janeway said tersely. “I can hide in the crowd. But I won’t let B’Elanna go through this alone.” 

The pained determination on Janeway’s face made Tuvok pause. 

“Permission to speak freely, Captain.” He asked, and Janeway waved her hand to grant him his request. “Your personal feelings for Lieutenant Torres are compelling you to take unnecessary risks.”

Janeway’s eyes narrowed. “I would do the same for every member of this crew.” 

“That goes without question.” Tuvok replied. “But I am concerned that watching Lieutenant Torres being tortured, however simulated it may be, will be harder for you than it would be if it were any other crewmember.” 

A flicker of vulnerability crossed Janeway’s face and she looked away, unable to face her trusted friend. 

“That alone makes you a liability.” Tuvok stated surprisingly compassionate.

Janeway rubbed her forehead and pursed her lips, overcoming her unease about being read so easily by the Vulcan.

“Alright.” She inexplicitly admitted to him what she had only admitted to herself recently, that she harbored feelings for her Chief Engineer. “If you’ve deduced all that, then you must understand why I need to be there, especially because it involves B’Elanna.”

She stared at him long and hard and he nodded once, if not understanding then at least accepting his Captain’s reasons. 

~

Janeway gasped as she entered the Holodeck a few hours later. 

B’Elanna had given the room a ‘Starfleet’ look, to make it seem as if a torture room was a normal thing to be found on a Federation starship. There were racks neatly stacked with various torture tools at the far end of the room, and a series of shackles at the opposite wall. 

Holographic crewmembers, males only, were created as an audience, programmed with basic response algorithms to further aid the ruse of these kinds of punishment being commonplace. 

The audience was ‘watching’ something at the other side of the room. Janeway made her way through the holograms and stopped in shock when she saw what they were looking at. 

B’Elanna stood with her arms raised, her wrists in shackles coming down from the ceiling.   
She was wearing nothing but a skimpy skirt and top to expose as much of her flesh as possible. With a tug, she was testing if the shackles were acceptable.

“They’ll hold.” She spoke to Chakotay, who nodded in return. Then her eyes fell on Janeway. “Captain.” She greeted her.

“B’Elanna.” Kathryn brought out, the sight before her nearly making her sick.   
She approached the other woman. “This looks revolting.” 

B’Elanna tried to shrug, causing the chains to rattle and Janeway cringed at the sound. 

“It looks worse than it is.” She grinned. “I padded the shackles. They’re actually quite comfortable.” 

Janeway shook her head. “I shouldn’t let you do this.” 

“I’ll be fine Captain. We need the cortenide. The warp coils won’t hold much longer without a fresh lining.” B’Elanna paused. “Besides, I’m the one who put us in this mess in the first place.”

There was some hassle at the door and Janeway turned around just to see Tuvok and his security detail enter with Vetzak and his comrades. 

She quickly stepped out of sight. “I’ll be here.” She whispered to B’Elanna before making sure the arrivals wouldn’t notice her. 

She needn’t have worried. Vetzak and the others only had eyes for B’Elanna. One of the men whistled appreciatively. 

“Now that’s what I like to see.” He sneered. 

Doing his best to keep his face neutral, Chakotay approached them.   
“Gentlemen,” he started, “the punishment of B’Elanna Torres will consist of twenty prods with this.” He picked up the modified pain stick. “It’s called a Klingon pain stick and it’s designed to give an electric discharge when it comes into contact with skin. The nerve endings become overly stimulated, resulting in agonizing pain.” He paused. “We find it a very effective tool.” 

Vetzak watched the device. “Well it’s not a whip.” He said, seeming a bit disappointed. “But I guess it will do.” 

It had been decided that Chakotay would handle the pain stick, while Tuvok would observe from the audience and keep an eye on everything so he and his security team could intervene if needed.

“Let’s begin.” Chakotay stated, and the men watched eagerly.   
He first prodded B’Elanna’s left calf and she responded as though the pain was unbearable. 

In the audience, Janeway shivered with disgust and resentment. Tuvok, who stood partially in front of her, reached back and gently put his hand on her arm. The gesture was made both to calm her and to make sure she would stay quiet. 

After the sixth prodding Vetzak and his men seemed to get bored. One of them stepped forward and yanked the pain stick out of Chakotay’s hands. “Let me try.” 

Janeway tensed, but since she knew the device had been rigged, she reasoned it didn’t matter who operated it. They could do no serious harm anyway. 

The man prodded B’Elanna square in her stomach and she spasmed convincingly.   
“This thing is not really my style.” He spoke, and threw the pain stick to the floor.   
Before anyone really knew what was happening, he backhanded B’Elanna in the face and planted his knee in her gut with alarming force. 

“No!” Janeway yelled as B’Elanna collapsed in the shackles, spitting blood. 

Immediately, Tuvok and his security team moved in and detained Vetzak and the other men, while Janeway ran to B’Elanna. Chakotay was already loosening the chains and Kathryn took her in her arms, gently lowering her to the floor. 

“Get them off this ship.” Janeway all but growled in Tuvok’s direction. 

Vetzak sneered. “Pathetic women.” 

But Janeway paid no attention to him, instead focusing on the half-Klingon in her arms. 

“I’m alright.” B’Elanna groaned, trying to get up. 

Janeway briefly glanced at Chakotay. “Take the Bridge. Make sure we get out of here as soon as possible.” 

Then she tapped her combadge. “Janeway to Transporter Room two. Beam me and Lieutenant Torres directly to Sickbay.” 

The Doctor materialized as soon as the transport was completed and helped the Captain put Torres on a biobed. 

He took a medical tricorder and scanned the half-Klingon.  
“She has a small rupture in her spleen and hairline fractures in the maxilla.” The Doctor stated, reaching for the coagulation stimulator. “Nothing too serious.” 

“I’m sorry B’Elanna.” Janeway spoke. “I never should’ve agreed to this.” 

“Did we get the cortenide?” B’Elanna asked slightly disoriented.

Janeway frowned. “I doubt it. But that’s not important. We’ll find another way.” 

“You shouldn’t have stopped them. We need that cortenide.” B’Elanna replied more forcefully.

The Doctor sighed. “Lieutenant, would you please lie still while I treat your injuries?” 

“What, I was just supposed to let them maul you?” Janeway asked incredulously. “That was never the plan B’Elanna.”

When Torres half got up to argue, the Doctor stopped them both. “That’s enough. Captain, please leave so I can tend to my patient. This is a Sickbay, not a conference room.”

Janeway nodded, and left, confused as to B’Elanna’s reaction.

~

When the Doctor informed her that Lieutenant Torres had been released to her quarters, Kathryn decided to see if the other woman was alright. 

B’Elanna let her in after she’d pressed the door chime and it was immediately clear from the half-Klingon’s tenure that she was still pent up. 

“No cortenide?” Torres asked without much preamble, stalking through her quarters.

Janeway shook her head. “No. But long range sensors detected an asteroid passing about fifteen light years from here that has deposits of monocrystal cortenum. It can be converted to cortenide.” 

B’Elanna snorted derisively. “Do you know how dangerous it is to mine cortenum from an asteroid?” She asked, and shook her head. “And besides, fifteen light years is almost three days at high warp. I’ll be surprised if the warp coils last more than two.” 

“Lieutenant Carey estimates they’ll hold for about four days.” Janeway replied.

B’Elanna chuckled mirthlessly. “I already detected microfractures in the adjacent manifolds. I give them two days, tops.”

“We’ll find a way.” Kathryn dismissed her concerns. “Now, how are your injuries?” 

“Fine.” B’Elanna snapped. “I can handle a little beating.” 

Janeway pursed her lips. “You seem… a little hostile.” 

“Yeah, well. I’m angry.” B’Elanna fumed. “I messed up! And then I had a chance to make it right and you stopped it for no reason!”

“I’m not in the habit of letting my officers get beaten to obtain supplies.” Janeway spoke indignantly. 

“I could’ve handled it. I’m a Klingon, not a goddamn kitten!” B’Elanna yelled. “Now instead we’ll probably be stranded in the middle of nowhere, and it’s all…” Her voice broke. “It’s all my fault.” She exhaled heavily. “You should’ve just let them flog me in the first place.”

“Why are you so obsessed with getting beaten?” Janeway asked, frowning. “Next thing you’ll ask me to take you over my knee and spank you.” She shook her head. “I get that you feel guilty, but how does physical punishment make that better? Don’t you think that getting to the root of your anger will be more effective?” 

B’Elanna snorted. “Like that stupid anger management course?” 

“Exactly.” Janeway nodded. 

The engineer rolled her eyes. “Analyzing my anger just makes me even angrier.” She said exasperated. “I’m not made for these touchy-feely things.” 

Janeway pursed her lips. “I still want you to start your meditation sessions with Tuvok.” 

“I’m telling you it’s no use.” B’Elanna spoke through clenched teeth. 

“And I’m telling you to do it anyway. I can make it an order if you want.” Janeway spoke in a dangerously low voice. 

B’Elanna gripped the edge of a chair and just barely resisted the urge to throw it through the room.   
“You can’t order someone to meditate!” 

Janeway shot the other woman a challenging look. “I believe I just did.” 

A string of Klingon expletives came out of the engineer’s mouth. “I’m a Klingon, I don’t talk, I punch things!” 

“Last time I checked you were half-human as well, B’Elanna.” Janeway countered forcefully. “It seems to me that you’re using your Klingon heritage as a convenient excuse to act on any impulse you have without having to be held accountable. And frankly, I think it’s getting old.” She paused and continued in a softer voice. “I know there’s a wonderful woman in there. One I respect and admire and genuinely like.” Even love, she admitted in thought. 

Torres just looked at her, clearly troubled.

“All this anger inside of you B’Elanna…” Kathryn continued. “It’s slowly poisoning you. And I think that with Tuvok’s help, you can stop that from happening and no longer be a slave to your emotions.” She reached out and tilted B’Elanna’s head so they were eye to eye. “I suggest you take this opportunity to take a good look at yourself and decide who you want to be: someone who fights life, or someone who lives it.”

She softly stroked the other woman’s cheek as she withdrew her hand.   
“Think about it…” Kathryn spoke softly, turning around to leave B’Elanna with her own thoughts.

~

B’Elanna checked the status of the warp coils and the adjacent manifolds. Her scans revealed that the microfractures had continued to form, and even more rapidly than she’d anticipated. Her estimate of the engines holding out for two more days now seemed optimistic. 

“Torres to Bridge.” She spoke, tapping the console in front of her, making calculations.

“Janeway here.” Came the reply.

“The problem with the microfractures in the manifolds is worse than I thought, Captain. At this rate we’ll lose warp capability within a day.” B’Elanna stated.

There was a brief pause. “Any suggestions?” 

“I recommend we slow down to warp three. That should also slow down the degradation. It’ll take us a lot longer, but we’ll get closer to the asteroid in the end.”

“Understood. Janeway out.” 

The commline closed and B’Elanna could feel the vibration of the engines change subtly, indicating they had slowed down. 

She continued to make calculations but with each solution they fell a few light years short of reaching the asteroid.

She hit the console in frustration, but then took a few deep breaths to calm herself and think. Voyager was limping to its last hope and it was all her fault. 

Since the Captain’s visit, she’d had a lot of time to think and a plan had begun to form in her mind. The time was coming to execute it. 

Carefully she started accessing Voyager’s security subroutines.

 

   
~PART TWO~

The door chime sounded as Janeway sat in her Ready Room, going through the status report from Engineering that B’Elanna had sent her.   
“Come in.” She spoke and watched her Security Officer enter. 

“Captain.” The Vulcan greeted her. “I’m obligated to inform you that Lieutenant Torres has failed to attend her anger management session this morning.” 

Janeway briefly closed her eyes. “Damn it B’Elanna.” She muttered, feeling disappointed. She really thought she’d gotten through to the other woman.

“Janeway to Torres.” She spoke, not looking forward to having to reprimand the other woman again. 

There was no reply. 

The Captain frowned. “Janeway to Torres, respond.” She repeated.

Again there was only silence. 

She gave Tuvok a worried look and the Vulcan cocked his head. “Computer, locate Lieutenant Torres.” 

“Lieutenant Torres is not on board.” The dispassionate voice sounded. 

Janeway stood up in alarm. “What?” 

“When did she leave Voyager?” Tuvok inquired. 

“Lieutenant Torres left this ship at 01h17.” 

“Get to the bottom of this.” Janeway ordered her Chief of Security. 

All kinds of emotions were raging inside of her, but her worry over the wellbeing of her Chief Engineer stood out above all else.

~

“From what we can devise, Lieutenant Torres took a shuttle last night when we dropped out of warp briefly to realign the magnetic constrictors around the warp coils.” Tuvok stated.

Janeway shook her head. “How could she take a shuttlecraft without being detected?” 

“B’Elanna has more than a few tricks up her sleeve.” Chakotay supplied helpfully, remembering their time in the Maquis. He sighed. “Do you think she went back to the station to settle the score?”

“We found remnants of a warp trail that could be consistent with that of the Lieutenant’s shuttle.” Tuvok spoke. “It appears to lead in the general direction of the asteroid we’re heading for.” 

“With a shuttle she can get there faster than Voyager can at the moment.” Janeway closed her eyes as B’Elanna’s intentions became clear to her. “She’s going to get the cortenum all by herself.”

“Alone? Is she trying to get herself killed?” Chakotay asked no one in particular. 

Janeway shook her head. “I’m going after her.” 

“Captain.” Chakotay started to protest.

Tuvok interrupted him. “I will accompany you.” 

Janeway looked at him for a moment. He was worried for her safety, but he understood why she had to go. She nodded. “Thank you.” 

“Take the Doctor with you.” Chakotay added, not entirely sure why the Captain seemed so adamant on going after B’Elanna herself, or why Tuvok hadn’t objected to it.

~

B’Elanna’s console beeped as she approached the asteroid. It had taken her only fourteen hours at maximum warp speed to reach it, whereas it would take Voyager two days. 

If it hadn’t been for her temper, Voyager’s warp engines would’ve been fixed already. They would be continuing on their way home, instead of taking a huge detour to reach the asteroid. That together with the mining and the processing of the cortenum to cortenide would add about a month to their journey home. B’Elanna didn’t like being the one responsible for that. Also, the mining of cortenum was tricky. One mistake and things could go terribly wrong, terribly fast. It wasn’t right to risk other lives because of her inability to control her anger, B’Elanna reasoned. So she felt she needed to do this herself.

She checked the readings on her screen, and bit her lip. It would be harder than she’d expected to mine the cortenum. She’d hoped to transport the richest deposits right into the cargo bay of the shuttle. That alone was no simple feat, as cortenum had a high risk of becoming instable during transport and cause a massive explosion. 

But the asteroid was spinning rapidly, making it completely impossible to get a stable transporter lock from orbit. She would have to land the shuttle on the asteroid, and then transport the cortenum. 

B’Elanna made her shuttle accelerate to achieve stationary orbit above a spot that seemed flat enough to attempt a landing. 

As she descended she had to carefully monitor the shuttle’s speed. One wrong maneuver and she’d be nothing but a smear on the surface. 

On the first three attempts she almost crashed on the asteroid, but she managed to break off the maneuver and try again. The fourth attempt was going a little smoother but she was still coming in too hot. 

B’Elanna tried to stay calm as her fingers flew over the console. Alarms were blaring and the face of the asteroid was coming up way too fast for comfort. 

She managed to slow down a little bit more, but still the shuttle smacked against the surface with an unsettling force. It bounced back a few times before coming to a standstill. 

The shrill sound of the alarm was the first thing B’Elanna became aware of. Immediately after that she noticed the dull throbbing in her head and opened her eyes.

A quick inventory of her limbs showed that she was more or less alright, although she suspected she had a mild concussion.   
Miraculously the shuttle had not sustained any major damage. 

B’Elanna donned a space suit and entered the small airlock of the shuttle. After venting the air, she opened the hatch and tentatively stepped outside. 

The first thing she had to do, was find a cortenum deposit and get transport enhancers in place.

~

Kathryn Janeway was trying to catch some sleep in the bunk of the shuttlecraft, but she wasn’t having much luck. Her thoughts were running in circles. She would kill B’Elanna for taking off on this insane mission. 

If B’Elanna was still alive… 

She quickly silenced that thought. If anyone could pull this off all by herself, it was B’Elanna. She was smart, strong and stubborn. The latter quality got her in trouble as much as it got her out of it though.

Kathryn wondered if B’Elanna would ever see what a beautiful person she truly was. All the anger inside her kept her from realizing her full potential.   
She would gladly help the younger woman, if only she knew how. 

~

B’Elanna had already managed to transport a particularly large deposit into the shuttle’s cargo hold. It had taken her almost two hours to find it and set up the transport enhancers. Then she’d walked back to the shuttle, which also took half an hour due to the low gravity. The excavating had of course been the tricky part, since the cortenum became unstable during transport. But piece by piece, she’d managed to beam it into the cargo hold.

Now she was out on a second hike with the transport enhancers strapped on the back of her suit, scanning her surroundings with a tricorder. Most of the cortenum lay scattered in relatively small deposits across the asteroid. It had taken her a while to locate another large deposit, but according to her tricorder there was one fifty meters in front of her. 

B’Elanna half walked, half bounced over there and scanned the cortenum. A detailed scan revealed it was laced with uridium, a mineral they could use to renew some of the sensor arrays. 

“Jackpot.” B’Elanna mumbled, and began setting up the transport enhancers. With that deposit and the other one, she’d have enough to overhaul Voyager’s warp coils.  
Once the transport enhancers were in place, she started the long hike back to the shuttle.

~

B’Elanna accessed the transporter controls on the main console in the shuttle. Her helmet lay next to her, and she’d taken off her gloves.  
With this deposit of cortenum, the shuttle’s cargo hold would be full. 

She activated the first transport, careful to monitor the energy levels and the annular confinement. Suddenly an alarm sounded. 

“Warning, energy overload in the main transporter buffer.” The computer informed her.

“Damn it.” B’Elanna cursed and attempted to compensate. It was no use, so she tried to flush the buffer. 

There was an energy discharge in the panel next to her and she ducked, still keeping her attention on the buffer readings. If that happened again in the cargo hold with the cortenum already present there, she’d be blown into smithereens and probably most of the asteroid would be destroyed with her. 

The uridium was the problem, it dawned on B’Elanna. During transport, the cortenum became ionized, which caused an exothermal reaction as the small pockets of uridium oxidized. In turn that made the cortenum even more unstable. 

She had to act fast or else the chain reaction in the buffer would cause a major explosion. 

“Janeway to Torres.” The Captain’s garbled voice suddenly sounded over the comm. 

Not now, B’Elanna thought, her fingers flying over the console. She couldn’t flush the buffer, so she was attempting to redirect the transport and beam everything to the surface. It would still blow up, but at least she could try to put some distance between her and the explosion. She scanned for an inert patch of asteroid, far enough away. 

“Janeway to Torres, do you read? Please respond.” 

The Captain seemed more urgent in her hail, but B’Elanna had no time for her.  
The console in front of her beeped to indicate a suitable transport site had been located and B’Elanna immediately ordered the computer to let the cortenum/uridium ore materialize there.   
She felt rather than heard the ensuing explosion. The asteroid shook violently, making the shuttle bounce around.

When everything had settled, B’Elanna tried to open a comm channel. “Torres to Janeway.” 

But there was only static in response. 

~

Janeway bit her lip as she hailed B’Elanna for a second time and there was still no response. 

Their shuttle had just entered communications range, so immediately she’d tried to contact B’Elanna. So far without any luck. Either she wasn’t there, refused to answer, or… Kathryn didn’t want to think about the third alternative. 

Tuvok’s console beeped and he half turned to her, frowning.  
“Long range sensors have detected an explosion on the surface of the asteroid.” He stated.

Janeway’s heart skipped a beat. “Life signs?” 

The Vulcan accessed the sensor data. “We’re still too far away to be able to detect life signs or determine the size or cause of the explosion.” 

“How much longer before we’re in range?” She asked, trying to keep the dread out of her voice. 

“Approximately two hours.” Tuvok replied.

Janeway exhaled heavily and closed her eyes. It was going to be a long wait.

~

B’Elanna cursed as she tried to be at two places at once and obviously failed at that. So far she had no luck in repairing the shuttle’s deflector dish to restore long range communications. The transporter was also still out. 

Janeway was coming for her, and probably so angry with her she’d probably flog her for real this time. But B’Elanna would make a case of having a whole cargo hold filled with cortenum by the time the Captain got there. 

The main transport buffer was useless, but the secondary buffer was still operational. B’Elanna was trying to expand it, without losing confinement.  
She adjusted and reprogrammed until she decided it was time for a field test. With the sensors linked to the transporter system, she would first try to beam out the small uridium pockets only in order to avoid it to chain react with the cortenum during transport. 

B’Elanna narrowed the annular confinement beam and locked on to a part of the uridium before initiating the transport. The secondary buffer was holding and the uridium materialized inside the cargo hold. It took several transports to get it all, but she did it.   
Then she set to work on excavating the cortenum. She initiated transport and a large part of the deposit dematerialized into the secondary transport buffer. It also neatly rematerialized in the cargo hold and B’Elanna got ready to transport another part.   
She got a lock, but the transport wouldn’t initiate. A warning told her the secondary buffer had degraded too much to safely transport anything. 

B’Elanna kicked the console and cursed. Then she accessed the transport protocols and disengaged the safety subroutines. 

“Warning, disengaging safety protocols can cause serious transport malfunctions.” The computer warned her. 

B’Elanna just continued, knowing very well what the risks were. She would have to compensate manually for the instability of the cortenum during transport. She exhaled briefly and wiggled her fingers to get rid of all unwanted tension. She needed to do this with a clear head and steady hands. 

She locked on to a small part of cortenum and initiated transport. Almost immediately all kinds of warnings flashed on her screen. She increased cohesion integrity and most of the readings fell back to normal. The cortenum materialized in the cargo hold and B’Elanna exhaled.

Only two more transports and she’d have enough for the overhaul of Voyager’s engines. Again her fingers flew over the console to lock on and transport the cortenum.   
“Warning, energy overload in the secondary transport buffer.” The computer warned her, as the control panel lit up almost completely red. Without the safeties kicking in, B’Elanna had to compensate for everything manually and she was about two hands short for that. 

“Damn!” She yelled as she desperately tried to flush the buffer, without any luck. There must still have been too much uridium present in the cortenum deposit. 

“Warning, transport system failure. Containment breach is imminent.” The computer spoke impassively. 

That was it, B’Elanna thought as she still tried to do something, anything. But there was no way she could fix this in time. Transporter accidents usually weren’t pretty, but there were worse ways to go. At least she had attempted to make things right trying to help her crewmates. If the asteroid blew up, the crew could collect the cortenum from the debris field. It would be a long and tedious endeavor, but they’d collect enough ore to use in the end.

Sparks erupted from the console next to her and B’Elanna held her breath. Her screen showed all readings in the danger zone. It was only a matter of seconds now…

Resigned to her fate, she closed her eyes and…

Nothing happened.

B’Elanna frowned. Why hadn’t everything exploded yet?

She opened her eyes and saw to her surprise all the transport readings had normalized. The secondary transport buffer was empty.

“Janeway to Torres. B’Elanna, are you alright?” 

B’Elanna blinked. “I’m… fine Captain.” She spoke, uncertain of what had just transpired.

“We transported the content of your secondary buffer to our cargo hold.” Janeway explained. “We’re in stationary orbit above your position. The Doctor and I will beam down momentarily.” 

“Understood.” B’Elanna answered meekly. Janeway hadn’t sounded too angry, but B’Elanna knew very well that when it came to the Captain, looks could be deceiving. 

Mere seconds later Janeway and the Doctor materialized.

Kathryn immediately crossed the distance between them and enveloped her Chief Engineer in a tight embrace. 

“I’m so glad you’re alright.” She whispered.

“Ahem.” The Doctor intervened, waving his medical tricorder around. “If you don’t mind, Captain, I would like to be the judge of that.” 

Janeway stepped back, her face unreadable. “Of course Doctor.” 

B’Elanna just looked from one to the other, puzzled, as the Doctor scanned her. That was not exactly the reaction she’d expected. After all she’d disabled Voyager’s security and stolen a federation shuttle. 

“The Lieutenant is as healthy as can be, aside from a few bumps and bruises.” The Doctor announced and put his tricorder away. 

“Good.” Janeway nodded and turned to B’Elanna. “What about this shuttle? Will it fly?”  
B’Elanna shrugged. “Yes, as far as I know. It bounced around a bit when I landed, but I did a system check and nothing crucial was damaged.”

Janeway nodded. “Alright, let’s try to get the rest of the cortenum and get back to Voyager.”

~

B’Elanna was sitting on the copilot chair of the shuttle, while Janeway flew them back to Voyager. Tuvok and the Doctor were on the other shuttle. 

With the help of the other shuttle’s transport system, they’d managed to get a large supply of cortenum and a nice quantity of uridium as a bonus. It was more than enough to overhaul the warp coils and renew parts of the sensor array.

In the surprisingly companionable silence, B’Elanna sat staring into space. 

“I’m sorry.” She spoke softly, out of the blue.

“Hmm?” Janeway asked, not taking her eyes off the conn. 

“I’m sorry.” B’Elanna repeated a little louder. “For disabling Voyager’s security, for stealing a shuttle, for not following orders. For coming out here all by myself and almost getting myself killed.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, but I just… I had to do it.” 

Janeway remained silent, focusing on some unseen point in space and B’Elanna vaguely wondered if finally the Captain would get angry at her. Or worse, tell her she was disappointed.

“I understand.” Janeway spoke after a minute. 

B’Elanna turned to the other woman, frowning. “You… do?” 

“As your Captain I can’t condone what you did, but I do understand B’Elanna.” Kathryn spoke gently. “I’m not completely devoid of any empathy.”   
She lightly shook her head. “I know that you felt guilty after the… debacle with Vetzak and his comrades. And I had considered you might color outside the lines a bit.” Kathryn held up her hands. “Like I said, I understand. I just didn’t really think you were going to do anything stupid like taking off alone to go mine an asteroid of all things.” She grimaced. “Getting yourself killed is not something I could just let you do.”

B’Elanna frowned. “I thought I could make things right if I just showed up at Voyager with a cargo hold full of cortenum.”

Janeway placed a hand on the other woman’s arm. “There was never anything you had to ‘make right’ in the first place.”

There was a silence as both women were lost in thought. 

“You know what you said earlier,” B’Elanna started after a while, “about me using my Klingon side as an excuse for acting out sometimes… Maybe you’re right.” She sighed. “Sometimes it just feels so good to… hit something. Someone. Anything. Even when I know it will only make things worse. It’s just… that moment of letting it all out, of not having to hold back…” She closed her eyes, thinking about it. “It feels so… good. Like I’m strong and powerful and… alive.” She frowned as something occurred to her.   
“Strangely enough, it makes me feel in control.”

Kathryn remained silent as the other woman collected her thoughts. 

“And then the moment passes and it makes me sad that I can’t feel like that all the time.” 

B’Elanna stared at her hands, not really wanting to see the look she was sure would be on Janeway’s face: a mixture of disgust and pity. 

To her surprise, the Captain’s voice sounded thoughtful when she spoke.   
“Is that the only outlet you have?”

B’Elanna tilted her head. “I’ve tried kicking the hell out of holograms on the holodeck, but it’s not the same.” She scratched her neck. “Actually, the only thing that comes even close is sex.” Then she shut up abruptly, suddenly remembering who she was talking to. 

Kathryn briefly raised her eyebrows and then nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, I can see how that could have the same effect.”

For a fleeting moment she allowed herself to think about her engineer in that way, but then professionalism took over again.   
“I still think,” Janeway spoke carefully, “that you would benefit from Tuvok’s mental guidance.” 

As a look of annoyance settled on B’Elanna’s face again, Kathryn held up her hand before continuing. “However, I do believe that a different approach is in order. I was thinking that an extensive training in martial arts could help you find inner balance in a way that speaks to you more than meditation would.”

B’Elanna thought about it and found that she was not disliking the idea, much to her surprise. Tuvok annoyed her to no end when he was trying to get into her head with his emotionless and dispassionate Vulcan logic. But his physical strength, B’Elanna knew, was formidable and she respected and admired his skills and discipline. 

Kathryn watched the expressive face of the half-Klingon while she considered the idea and knew B’Elanna seemed open to it.   
“I hope you won’t do this because I’m ordering you, but because you want to.” She spoke.

B’Elanna nodded slowly. “I promise I’ll give it a fair try.” 

Kathryn raised one eyebrow. “Good.” 

Leaning back in her seat, B’Elanna unsuccessfully tried to suppress a yawn. She had been awake for almost two days straight and that began to take its toll. 

“I suggest you get some rest.” Janeway spoke in a gentle but firm way. 

But B’Elanna wasn’t about to argue. She scooted down somewhat in her seat, tilted her head back and fell asleep immediately.

 

   
~PART THREE~

“Defend yourself.” 

B’Elanna immediately assumed a defensive stance and watched her mentor like a hawk, preparing to counter his moves. 

This was her third lesson of martial arts, and so far, she’d learned a lot about fighting techniques. 

Today, they had been on the Holodeck for about an hour, training on positions and moves, and now Tuvok seemed to be trying something new.

Her mentor simply circled her, observing, but not making any attempt to attack.   
B’Elanna squinted, wondering what he was waiting for. After a minute she got fed up with it and made a move on him herself. 

Before she knew what exactly had happened she was lying on the ground facing the ceiling. 

“Your impatience is causing you to make poorly thought out decisions.” Tuvok spoke from above her. Then he held out a hand to pull her up.

“Just how long was I supposed to wait? You were just circling me.” B’Elanna grumbled, readjusting her clothes. 

“It is not a question of time.” Tuvok spoke. “Your attack was based on nothing but an impulse. You had no plan, you just acted.” He assumed his original position. “In physical combat, it is important to control your impulses.” 

B’Elanna watched him circle her again, studying his movements. 

“A skilled opponent can interpret your behavior and anticipate your actions.” Tuvok explained. “I noticed your impatience and took advantage of your resulting lack of focus on our battle exercise.” 

In one swift move, B’Elanna attacked and managed to tackle her instructor.   
She grinned as she looked down on him. “I guess that also applies to talking too much.”

Tuvok nodded appreciatively. “You learn quickly. However…” He rapidly moved and kicked B’Elanna’s legs out from under her, causing her to land on the ground next to him. “Pride is also a source of distraction.” 

B’Elanna laughed. “Okay, fair enough.” 

“That concludes your training for today.” Tuvok spoke as he got up. 

B’Elanna took her jacket. “Thank you.” She said, surprised she actually meant it. 

~

“How are your training sessions with B’Elanna going?” Janeway asked Tuvok as she met him in the turbo lift a few days later. 

Tuvok cocked his head. “I must say Lieutenant Torres is doing better than I had anticipated.” He spoke. 

Janeway smiled proudly, both because her idea was working and because she felt pride towards B’Elanna doing so well.   
“Do you mind if I check up on her progress next session?” She asked, surprising herself with the question. 

It felt like a cheap excuse to see B’Elanna. Yet she couldn’t help herself.  
After their conversation in the shuttle, she’d been thinking a lot about the younger half Klingon. It had moved something inside her when B’Elanna had talked so openly about her anger and her emotions. Kathryn knew how difficult it had been for the other woman to apologize. And she’d felt honored that B’Elanna would trust her enough to be so honest with her.

As a result the feelings Kathryn already harbored for the other woman had suddenly become that much deeper. She didn’t want to let go of their new, tentative connection.

If he thought her request odd, Tuvok didn’t show it.   
“You are welcome to observe.” He answered. “Our next training session is scheduled this afternoon at 17h00.” 

Janeway smiled as she exited the turbolift. “I’ll see if I can make it.” 

~

Seventeen hundred hours had come and gone by now, and Kathryn was still wondering whether or not to go to the Holodeck.   
Tuvok didn’t mind, and B’Elanna would just think she was taking a professional interest in how the anger management sessions –that she herself had ordered- were playing out.   
But Kathryn knew that was not the real reason she would be going to the Holodeck. She just wanted to see B’Elanna. She was curious to know another part of her, next to the Chief Engineer, the half-Klingon, the ex-Maquis. She’d never seen B’Elanna the fighter.

Was it wise to entertain her curiosity, which would no doubt only fuel her lingering attraction to the feisty brunette? It couldn’t go anywhere, wouldn’t go anywhere. So why add to the bittersweetness of it all?

Janeway shook her head. She shouldn’t dwell on this.   
She would go to the Holodeck, if only to see with her own eyes that B’Elanna was indeed making progress with her anger issues. And she would be happy for the younger woman, finally finding some inner balance. 

Anything beside that was beside the point.

~

B’Elanna and Tuvok were already halfway through their training session by the time Kathryn arrived on the Holodeck. 

She tried to sneak in quietly, but still B’Elanna noticed the intrusion. Tuvok ruthlessly took advantage of her distraction and floored her. 

Janeway grimaced. “Sorry.” 

“Thanks.” B’Elanna muttered good naturedly in Janeway’s direction as she got up from the floor. 

As Tuvok raised his eyebrow, she grinned. “Yeah, I know, lost my focus. My bad.” 

“Again.” Tuvok said and took his initial position. 

B’Elanna also got ready, aware that the Captain was watching them. 

They went through the routine again, but after a few moves, Tuvok stopped.   
“You are distracted.” He simply said. 

“Sorry.” B’Elanna growled, annoyed that she couldn’t just focus on Tuvok and their fighting routine. 

“Maybe it’s best if I go.” The Captain said. “I didn’t mean to make you lose your concentration, B’Elanna.”

“On the contrary, Captain.” Tuvok replied. “If your presence is a distraction for Lieutenant Torres, it would be a valuable lesson for her to try and overcome this.”

Janeway’s eyebrows rose and B’Elanna laughed. “You can stay Captain. Tuvok is right.”  
She took her initial position again and watched Tuvok do the same.

“Begin.”

They circled around each other for a while and then began what seemed to Kathryn like a dance with fists and blows and ducks and kicks. 

B’Elanna found that after a while, she could ‘forget’ someone else was in the room. Of course when Janeway made a sound or moved, she’d be reminded and Tuvok would show her he noticed, but there were moments she was completely in the fight. And she loved it, feeling immersed in nothing but moves and countermoves, controlling her own body, trying to execute perfect attacks and flawless defenses.

Kathryn saw the focus on B’Elanna’s face, the determination in her eyes. It occurred to her that the other woman almost seemed in total control of herself. Even when she couldn’t match Tuvok’s superior technique and hit the deck, she got up and tried again until she had mastered the move. Kathryn knew of days when the volatile half-Klingon would have reacted differently.

There was no doubt in her mind B’Elanna was making progress. 

The comment B’Elanna had made in the shuttle, when they were on their way back to Voyager with the cortenum, passed through her mind: that the only time she felt really alive was during a fight.   
And during sex, Kathryn’s memory supplied helpfully.

For a brief moment, Kathryn allowed herself to look at B’Elanna and let her imagination wander. She noticed the intensity of the other woman’s gaze, her supple grace, her punctuating grunts. She saw all of it in a different context and it made her want to reach out and experience it all for real. 

Kathryn exhaled and briefly shook her head. She had to stop thinking about this. 

Finally, Tuvok ended the exercise and B’Elanna headed over to the replicator to get some water.

“I’m impressed with her composure.” Janeway spoke as Tuvok headed over to her.

The Vulcan merely nodded once. “Indeed.”

“Well, I guess I’ve seen what I needed to see.” Janeway said, casting a last look at B’Elanna. “I’m glad this is going well.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Tuvok replied. “However, if you don’t mind, I could use your help for the next exercise.” 

~

Standing at the replicator, sipping her water, B’Elanna looked over at Tuvok and the Captain a few meters away. She couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but as Janeway looked in her direction now and again, she assumed they were talking about her. 

She didn’t mind the Captain’s interest in her. Not anymore. 

At first, she’d thought Janeway was just out to get her, which made her angry. Then she’d felt like she was the half-Klingon pet that needed to be house-trained. That pissed her off.

But when Janeway had come to her quarters after the failed ruse on the Holodeck, B’Elanna had started to think that maybe the Captain simply cared about her wellbeing. And when she’d come after her on the asteroid and hugged her, B’Elanna knew that Janeway had been genuinely worried about her. 

Along the way, B’Elanna had realized that, indeed, her anger was a problem, preventing her from feeling good about herself and her life. She was glad that Janeway had taken the time to take an interest and try to come up with a suitable way of helping her. The effort she’d put into this made her either a hell of a Captain or… a good friend, B’Elanna surmised. 

As she finished her water, Tuvok came over to her, holding a piece of fabric. 

“For our last exercise of today I want you to wear this.” He spoke, putting the blindfold over B’Elanna’s eyes and adjusting it so she could no longer see anything. 

“Without your visual acuity you are at a disadvantage.” Her mentor said as he circled her. “However, as you lose one sense, your other senses will become sharper to compensate. Trust them, and trust your instincts.”

B’Elanna listened attentively and could locate him without much trouble. If she listened even closer, she could hear the rustling of his clothes and guess which moves he was making. 

His first attack was noisy and easy to counter. Then he retreated again, and B’Elanna had much more difficulty sensing him. 

She felt some movement behind her but then she was attacked from the left. Too late she sensed it coming and Tuvok pinned her to the floor without much effort. 

“Again.” His voice sounded and as she got up, he resumed circling her.

B’Elanna strained her ears, but she couldn’t pinpoint his location. 

There was some faint rustling in front of her and she quickly moved forward in the hopes that she would hear in which direction Tuvok would move as he evaded her.

To her surprise, she bumped into her attacker. There was a brief pause and then a pair of soft but strong arms grabbed her and held her in a locked position. A sweet, flowery scent drifted around her and B’Elanna frowned, as her mind caught up slowly. 

It had to be Janeway.

Before she could say or do anything, the Captain moved with a decisive and precise stroke of her leg and floored B’Elanna, half squatting on top of her to keep her down. 

But Torres wasn’t one to immediately cry uncle in a fight. Janeway’s technique was different than Tuvok’s, but B’Elanna was no stranger to combat either. 

She managed to free herself, but as she tried –still blindfolded- to gain the upper hand, Janeway matched her move for move. The Captain was a lot stronger than B’Elanna had ever given her credit for. 

She could hear Janeway panting and knew that her Captain hadn’t done this in a while. B’Elanna had the upper hand when it came to endurance. Biding her time, she waited and finished off their fight by pinning Janeway to the floor and holding her there by lying on top of her. 

“Gotcha.” B’Elanna grinned smugly, taking off the blindfold with one hand. “But that was cheating.” She added as she looked down at Janeway. 

The Captain was lying there panting, her hair unkempt, face flushed and pupils dilated. She looked very different and B’Elanna felt the unexpected urge to kiss her. Yet she controlled the impulse, thinking how inappropriate it would be. 

Suddenly she became very aware of the Captain’s body underneath her own and she scrambled to her feet. 

“That was cheating.” She repeated, shaking her head to clear it. 

“No it was not.” Tuvok replied as he helped Janeway up. “I asked the Captain to act as a diversion, serving as an extra challenge for you in this exercise.” 

“Glad I could be of service.” Janeway spoke, not looking B’Elanna in the eye. “But I’m late for a meeting.” 

Without clarifying further, she made a beeline for the Holodeck’s exit. 

B’Elanna watched her go in confusion and turned to Tuvok. 

“What was that all about?” She asked puzzled.

Tuvok cocked his head. “Everyone has their own battle to fight.” He spoke cryptically.

~

Janeway put down the PADD she was reading and rubbed her hand over her face. Her mind couldn’t help but go back to how B’Elanna’s body had felt, lying on top of her on the Holodeck. 

She had only been supposed to create a diversion while Tuvok attacked B’Elanna from another direction. But then B’Elanna had lunged forward and accidentally bumped into her and before Kathryn knew it, she’d been rolling over the ground with the half-Klingon.   
She’d thanked her lucky stars for the judo training she’d received in the past and that B’Elanna had been blindfolded. Surprisingly she’d managed to hold her own for a respectable amount of time. 

She’d caught the look of surprise on Tuvok’s face and could only imagine what he must think of her. 

And B’Elanna… She’d seen the look of confusion on the other woman’s face as she’d taken off her blindfold. Kathryn knew she had been shamelessly staring at the woman on top of her at that moment and she could only hope B’Elanna hadn’t read the look on her face for what it had been: pure and unadulterated lust. 

Kathryn sighed deeply and picked up the PADD from her desk again, trying to focus on Voyager’s tactical status.

~

“If that’s all…” Janeway concluded her weekly security meeting with Tuvok the next morning. They were sitting on the sofa in her Ready Room.

“There is one small matter regarding Lieutenant Torres.” Tuvok spoke, and Janeway tried hard to keep her expression neutral as B’Elanna’s name was brought up. 

“What about her?” She asked carefully.

Tuvok cocked his head, noticing the subtle tension that had slipped into Janeway’s demeanor at the mentioning of the half-Klingon. 

“We haven’t officially taken a position on the fact that she bypassed security protocols and took a shuttle without permission two weeks ago.”

Janeway sighed. “I don’t think it’s necessary to further reprimand her for that, do you?” She searched Tuvok’s face for any indication on whether or not he agreed. “I think an official blame in her permanent record is more than enough.” 

Tuvok nodded once. “I will see to it.”

Suddenly unsure of herself, Kathryn wrought her hands. “What do you think?” She looked up at Tuvok, vulnerability flickering in her eyes. “I’m not giving her special treatment, am I?” She asked her trusted friend.

Tuvok observed her for a moment, clearly seeing her uncertainty. He remembered her unusual behavior on the Holodeck and concluded that she was genuinely confused.

“I think you would’ve reached the same conclusion had it been anyone else on this crew.” He answered truthfully. 

Kathryn exhaled heavily and put her face in her hands. 

Uncharacteristically, Tuvok placed his hand on the Captain’s shoulder, lightly squeezing it. 

Shaking her head warily, Kathryn looked at him, thankful for his support. She knew he would not judge.   
“I’m struggling with this…” She spoke slowly.

Tuvok nodded and remained silent.

“I’m the Captain of this ship. I have a responsibility to each and every member of this crew to be objective and make rational decisions.” She shook her head. “Lately I don’t feel like I’m doing either. At least not when B’Elanna’s involved.” 

“Do you think your feelings for Lieutenant Torres are clouding your judgment?” Tuvok inquired. 

“Aren’t they?” Janeway frowned. “When she attacked those men on the station, I didn’t demote her, I didn’t send her to the brig. I just suggested she took an anger management course. When she stole a shuttle I went after her personally and when I saw her, I hugged her because I was so glad she was alright. And as we just discussed, I’m not punishing her for that transgression either.” 

She shook her head and groaned. “And I all but groped her on the Holodeck during that fighting exercise.” She briefly closed her eyes in shame. “Don’t tell me you don’t think that was out of character.” 

Tuvok’s eyebrow rose at her last comment. “Although I did not notice any ‘groping’, your actions did indeed surprise me.”

Janeway rolled her eyes. “I can’t keep acting like a lovesick teenager. I just have to… get over it.” She rubbed her face and sighed, turning to her friend. “Do you have any Vulcan tricks for that?”

“To take control of your emotions, the first step is to rationalize them.” Tuvok spoke. “Take a step back and analyze your reaction patterns. Recognize your weaknesses and turn them into strengths.” 

Janeway frowned as she thought about his words. Maybe she should take a step back. Avoid seeing B’Elanna as much as possible while figuring out how to handle this.   
She placed a hand on Tuvok’s arm. “Thank you for your valuable insights.”

Tuvok nodded once. “You are welcome.” 

~

“The overhaul of the warp coils is finally completed. We can now sustain high warp again without further problems.” Torres spoke, looking around the table in the Briefing Room, unable to hide the pride in her voice. She and her team had been working almost non-stop the past few weeks to get the warp drive completely operational again. They had finished two days ahead of schedule. 

“Not a moment too soon.” Tom Paris grinned. “Cruising around at warp 3 in this baby is like keeping to the speed limit in a Ferrari.” 

When he only got blank looks from the people around the table he shrugged. “What? It is!”

Janeway briefly rolled her eyes. “Thank you Tom.”   
She turned back to B’Elanna with what she hoped was a professional look on her face.   
“Good job Lieutenant.”

B’Elanna smiled broadly. “Thanks Captain. As you may remember we also have a stock of uridium which we can use to enhance the sensors. I’d like to discuss with you which sensor arrays have priority after this briefing, if you have some time.”

Janeway opened her mouth and closed it again. After her conversation with Tuvok, she’d decided to put some distance between her and B’Elanna, so she could try and work through her feelings. Of course, being with B’Elanna alone in her Ready Room would not be the way to go for that.

“I… have a meeting with Tuvok later.” Janeway lied. She saw the Vulcan slightly raise his eyebrow but ignored him. “Why don’t you discuss this with Commander Chakotay?” 

“Oh. Okay.” B’Elanna uttered, looking a bit confused. Generally the Captain insisted on being the one to make such decisions. 

“But if you want I can stop by later today. Just let me know when.” She added helpfully.

Shaking her head, Janeway smiled unconvincingly. “That’s not necessary Lieutenant. Just discuss it with Chakotay.” 

B’Elanna tried to hide her disappointment, but only half succeeded. “I will.”

Janeway stood. “I guess that concludes this briefing. Dismissed.” 

As everybody got up, she looked at Tuvok, blushing as she met his eyes. “Meet me in my Ready Room?” 

~

Two days later, B’Elanna was standing in the Mess Hall where the senior staff and a lot of the other personnel had gathered to celebrate Tuvok’s promotion to Lieutenant-Commander. 

“For outstanding services, Chief Tactical and Security Officer, it’s my pleasure to grant you the rank of Lieutenant-Commander. Congratulations.” Janeway finished her speech, and reached up to put the new insignia on his collar as everyone applauded.

Tuvok nodded once. “Thank you Captain.” He turned to address the group. “Had I known this commendation entailed ritual humiliation, I might have declined.” He spoke dryly, referring to the stories Tom Paris had shared about him before the Captain’s speech. “However, I accept it with gratitude and will honor the responsibility that comes with it.”

Looking around the room, Tuvok continued. “During my three years on Voyager I have grown to respect a great many of you.” B’Elanna felt a surge of pride as she was one of the people he briefly settled his eyes on during those words.   
“Others, I have learned to tolerate.” The crowd laughed as he looked pointedly at Tom.

“As your Tactical Officer, I will continue to do my best to ensure a safe passage home. As a Vulcan, I share the following sentiment: ‘Live long, and prosper’.” He concluded and was again met with applause. 

The senior staff all congratulated Tuvok and gathered around one of the tables.

“By the way, Tom,” Chakotay said, “I tried that new holoprogram you and Harry designed.” He pursed his lips appreciatively. “Nicely done. I really enjoyed it.” 

Janeway turned her head. “A new holoprogram?” She asked interested. “What’s it about?” 

“It’s a diving program. A creative recreation of a reef on Risa I once visited.” Tom explained proudly. “Of course,” he patted Harry Kim who was standing next to him on the shoulder, “thanks to Harry, I was able to make it even better than the original.” 

“Sounds spectacular.” Janeway smiled, good-naturedly rolling her eyes at his boasting.

“With the risk of inflating his ego even more,” Chakotay grinned, “I have to say it really is spectacular.”

“You should try it Captain.” Harry said enthusiastically. “The colors are amazing. And there’s this blowfish that just…” 

Tom interrupted him. “Don’t spoil all the fun Harry.” He turned to Janeway. “Aren’t you curious yet, Captain?” 

“Well I have to admit I am.” Kathryn grinned. “But I never went scuba diving before. Does your program have an instructor?” 

Harry shook his head. “I haven’t had time to program one yet.” 

“I can teach you if you like.” B’Elanna said, having just joined the group. “I have some Holodeck time scheduled tomorrow afternoon and I was planning to run the program anyway.” She grinned and playfully hit Tom on the shoulder. “Now that the warp coils are good as new again, I finally have some time to see what all the fuzz is about.”

Unvoluntarily, images of B’Elanna in a bathing suit entered Kathryn’s mind and the look on her face changed to something akin to a deer caught in headlights. She would never be able to relax and enjoy the program if B’Elanna was there with her. 

“What do you think Captain?” Tom asked. “I’m sure you would really love it.” 

An apologetic look was forming on Janeway’s face, as she searched for a valid reason not to accept her Chief Engineer’s offer.

B’Elanna’s smile had faltered, having seen Janeway’s almost frightened initial expression before she’d carefully masked it. That was the second time in a couple of days that Janeway rebuffed a perfectly normal question. And each time she’d looked like she’d rather swallow a bug. 

“Well, the offer stands.” She spoke neutrally, saving Janeway the trouble of finding an excuse. “Just let me know.”   
She took her almost empty glass and went to the bar to get it refilled. 

B’Elanna searched her memory for anything she might have said or done to annoy or anger the Captain, but she couldn’t come up with anything.  
Before she could get deeper into it, Nicoletti came up to her, asking her about the next day’s duty roster in Engineering and B’Elanna spent the rest of the afternoon socializing with her Engineering crew.

~

When the alarm sounded the next morning, Kathryn had just fallen asleep after another night of tossing and turning. When she opened her eyes, she knew that coffee wouldn’t be enough to get her through the day. 

It was time, she finally admitted to herself, to go to Sickbay and get something for her insomnia. She could fool her conscious mind that she had everything under control but her subconscious was apparently not so easily convinced.

She donned her uniform and tried to hide the signs of fatigue as well as she could with makeup. 

With her weariness carefully tucked away underneath her command mask, Kathryn walked through the corridor. On autopilot she greeted some crewmembers as she passed them, and waited for the turbolift to arrive.

Her composure was tested when the doors opened to reveal B’Elanna already inside. Pausing only a fraction of a second, Janeway entered as well, only giving her Chief Engineer a professional glance.

“Good morning Captain.” B’Elanna smiled.

“Lieutenant.” Janeway greeted her curtly and turned around to face the turbolift door. “Deck Five.” 

The short ride down happened in complete silence, with Janeway trying her best to keep unwanted feelings at bay. However much she would like to turn around and talk to the other woman, it would serve no purpose. It would only make things harder. 

Trying to steel her resolve by rationalizing her actions, Kathryn couldn’t help but feel her stomach clench at the thought of dismissing B’Elanna the way she was doing. It took all the mental strength she had to remind her that she had no choice. She exited the turbolift without looking back. 

When the doors closed behind her and B’Elanna was out of sight, she allowed herself to take a deep breath before entering Sickbay. 

The Doctor greeted her in his usual straightforward way. “Captain! How may I help you?”

Janeway sighed. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I was wondering if you have something for that.”

Grabbing a tricorder, the Doctor scanned her. “Hmm.” He uttered and frowned. “There’s a bit of an imbalance in your neurotransmitter and neuropeptide levels. Have you been under any stress lately?”

Janeway pursed her lips, remembering all the tossing and turning she’d gone through the last few weeks. And the cause of those sleepless nights. 

“Just… the burden of command, I guess.” She lied.

The Doctor analyzed the results. “Well this imbalance is hardly life threatening.” He stated. “But I think it would be helpful if you took the time to relax now and then, get some R&R.” He added cheerfully. “When was the last time you spent an afternoon on the Holodeck?”

Janeway resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “I don’t really remember, Doctor.” 

The EMH frowned. “Really Captain, your mental health directly influences your physical health. You should know that by now.” He shook his head. “There is a wonderful new diving program that Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Paris created. Why don’t you take some time off and try it?”

Janeway sighed. She knew he had a point, but that didn’t make him any less annoying. “I promise you I will get some R&R, Doctor. But for now, I was hoping you could give me something to help me relax?”

His face clearly showing his disapproval, the Doctor prepared a hypospray. “This should do the trick.” He applied it to the Captain’s neck. “But this is only a stop-gap measure and I will give it to you only once.”

“Thanks.” Janeway said as she rubbed her neck, and started walking to the door. 

“Let me know tomorrow if you slept any better.” He spoke, and shook his head in irritation when she didn’t respond. “I strongly recommend you take it easy today Captain. Some R&R will go a long way!” He added rather forcefully at her retreating back.

“Noted, Doctor.” Janeway replied offhandedly as she exited the room.

 

   
~PART FOUR~

“Pay attention.” Tuvok stated after B’Elanna had attacked him with a sloppy maneuver, leaving her left side unprotected. He’d decked her without difficulty.

“Sorry.” B’Elanna grunted, getting up and assuming the fighting position again.   
Tuvok squinted and did the same. 

Again B’Elanna’s attack strategy was rash and not thought through. And again she was floored in a matter of seconds.   
With a frustrated growl, she got up and in position again. “Come on!” 

Tuvok, however, shook his head. “Without focus, this battle exercise is pointless.” He spoke, making no attempt to fight her. 

“Just attack me.” B’Elanna snarled. 

“No.” Tuvok replied. 

“Why not?” B’Elanna asked, feeling her irritation levels rise.

Tuvok paused. “Since we started today, you have lacked focus and concentration. It almost seems as if you have learned nothing from our previous training sessions.” 

“Hey, I’m doing the best I can here.” B’Elanna scowled. “I’m just… frustrated and I can’t seem to shake it.” 

“I see.” Tuvok spoke neutrally. “And is there a particular reason for your… frustration?” 

B’Elanna looked away and clenched her teeth. “Janeway is giving me the cold shoulder and I don’t know what I did wrong.” She spoke irritably. She hated admitting that this got to her the way it did.   
“She’s been brushing me off for days now. Anything I say or do, she just finds excuses or completely ignores me.”

Tuvok almost imperceptibly raised his eyebrows, aware of the real reason of Janeway’s cold behavior. 

“And the worst part is that I don’t know what I have done to deserve any of it.” B’Elanna growled. 

“Perhaps the Captain’s behavior is not a reaction to anything you did wrong, Lieutenant.” Tuvok offered. He didn’t intend to meddle, but simply wanted to point out that B’Elanna had to try to see the whole picture.

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “Well as far as I can see, she acts pretty much normal around anyone else, so I must have pissed her off in some way or another.” She shrugged. “Why else would she treat me the way that she does?”

“If you, as you say, have done nothing to warrant such a reaction, then logic dictates there must be another reason.” Tuvok spoke. 

“Like what?” B’Elanna asked, frowning.

Tuvok cocked his head. “That is not a question I can answer.” 

B’Elanna huffed. “I should just march right over there and demand to know what her problem is.” 

Resisting the urge to sigh, Tuvok merely cocked his head. “Lieutenant, I should like to think you have learned by now that acting on such a rash impulse rarely has a desirable outcome.” 

B’Elanna eyed him for a moment and then grinned sheepishly. “Good point.”   
She ran a hand through her hair. “I just find it annoying to be brushed off all the time without knowing why.” 

“As this is something you cannot change at this moment, you must learn to deal with it.” Tuvok spoke. “During our next exercise, acknowledge your frustration and try to use it, by letting it work for you instead of against you. I will show you how.”

He assumed a fighting position. “Begin.”

~

B’Elanna entered Sickbay, wincing slightly with every step. 

“Lieutenant, what seems to be the problem?” The Doctor greeted her, already grabbing his tricorder. 

“It’s no big deal.” She rubbed the hamstrings of her left leg. “I think I pulled a muscle during my workout with Tuvok.” She spoke, limping to the nearest biobed.

The Doctor scanned her leg. “Hmm, you have a slight tear in your biceps femoris.” He explained, reaching for the deep tissue regenerator. He applied the instrument in his usual straightforward manner. “There, good as new. Refrain from any strenuous activities for today, but you should be good to go on duty.” 

“I’m not on duty today.” B’Elanna replied. “With all the hours I’ve put in working on those warp coils lately, I have some much deserved R&R coming up.” 

“Well I’m glad to see some people around here appreciate the value of downtime.” The Doctor spoke sarcastically. 

He elaborated as B’Elanna gave him a questioning look. “There’s a certain Captain who would benefit from following your example.” 

The half-Klingon shrugged. “I asked her yesterday but she didn’t want to join me. I’m going to try Tom and Harry’s diving program on Risa. I hear it’s really good.” 

The Doctor nodded appreciatively. “It is. I ran it yesterday.” 

He indicated her leg. “Just try not to overexert yourself and you should be fine.” 

“Thank you Doctor.” B’Elanna carefully hopped off the biobed and exited Sickbay. 

The turbolift was empty when she stepped in. 

“Holodeck Two.” She spoke as the doors closed. Then she changed her mind. “Computer, hold turbolift.” 

As the lift stopped, she asked the Computer about Janeway’s whereabouts.   
“Captain Janeway is in her Ready Room.” The Computer informed her. 

B’Elanna nodded to herself. “Computer, resume turbolift. Deck One, Bridge.”   
She would ask the Captain to join her on the Holodeck again. After all, she’d never really gotten an answer after she’d suggested it the previous day. 

Janeway’s strange behavior worried her. Thanks to Tuvok’s insights her initial anger had been replaced by genuine concern for the other woman. The Doctor’s remark had only added to that feeling, and she thought that maybe she could help by offering an afternoon of R&R, taking the Captain’s mind off of what was bothering her. 

~

Kathryn Janeway sat on the sofa in her Ready Room. She held a PADD in her hand, but her attention was focused on the stars warping past. 

Whatever the Doctor had given her, had mellowed her somewhat, taking away a tension she hadn’t known was there. But with that, her last bit of strength to keep her command mask in place had also vanished. 

Somehow, staring at the stars made her feel less vulnerable, as if the size of her problems seemed insignificant compared to the vastness of space.

When the door chime sounded, she tried to collect her thoughts before granting whoever it was access. 

The door opened and B’Elanna entered. 

For the first time in what seemed like ages, her stomach didn’t flutter at the sight of her Chief Engineer. Instead a mixture of bitter longing and sadness settled over her like a warm blanket. Kathryn smiled weakly but was unable to make it reach her eyes.   
“What can I do for you Lieutenant?”

“I came to see if you’d like to go diving with me on the Holodeck.” B’Elanna began. She noticed that Janeway seemed different, almost sad. Again she wondered what was going on with the Captain. She was acting distinctly out of character lately. 

With a sigh, Janeway rose from the couch. “Thanks but,” she shook her head apologetically, “I have a lot of work to do.” 

“No offense, but you look like you could use some R&R.” B’Elanna spoke with a frown. 

Janeway looked blankly at her. Then she shrugged. “Don’t we all?” 

B’Elanna studied the other woman with a worried look on her face. “Are you… alright?” She asked, concern evident in her voice. 

Janeway avoided her eyes and stared at the floor, wondering why she was still trying to maintain her composure. She half-shrugged and briefly closed her eyes. “I’ll be fine.” 

She looked so forlorn that B’Elanna stepped closer and reached out, placing one hand on Janeway’s upper arm. 

The look the other woman gave her as she lifted her head was so heartbreaking that B’Elanna automatically pulled her into a hug.

Surprisingly Janeway didn’t object, but allowed the embrace, even leaned into it a little. 

They stood like that for a few seconds before Kathryn sighed and drew back from the comforting arms. 

She met B’Elanna’s eyes but before she could say anything the other woman spoke.  
“Please come with me to the Holodeck.” 

Janeway opened her mouth to answer when the door chime sounded. She turned to the door to allow entry and B’Elanna sighed, silently cursing whoever was interrupting her apparent breakthrough. 

Chakotay entered, holding up some PADDs. “Duty rosters that need your approval.” 

“I’ll sign them right away.” Janeway nodded and turned to B’Elanna.   
“Lieutenant, I’ll see you there in about ten minutes.” 

A pleased smile appeared on the half-Klingon’s face as she nodded and turned around, exiting the Ready Room.

~

Stepping out of the turbolift, Kathryn walked the short distance to Holodeck Two.

She figured that since keeping away from B’Elanna as much as possible was obviously not really working, she might as well try a different strategy. 

Being a Captain on a Starship thousands of light years away from home, severely limited the amount of people she was close to in her life. She didn’t have the luxury of cutting one of them off. She had enough loneliness to deal with already.

Maybe it would be better to try and have B’Elanna in her life as a friend. Hopefully, Kathryn thought, she would find a way to control her feelings and be able to focus on the other things they could share. 

When she entered the Holodeck, B’Elanna was already sitting on the diving platform, inspecting their equipment. 

Kathryn made her way over, willing herself not to stare at the other woman’s body only clad in functional swimwear.

“Hi!” B’Elanna smiled as she noticed the other woman. “You can go change in the cabin. I’ve got your breather and diving computer right here.” 

“Okay.” Janeway answered and turned to enter the cabin.   
She replicated a swimsuit before taking off her uniform. When she finished dressing, she bound her hair together in a pony tail, grabbed flippers and a diving mask from the shelf and exited the cabin.

“Ready.” She spoke as she got down next to B’Elanna to don her flippers. 

“Dip the flippers and your feet in the water first.” B’Elanna spoke. “It’ll be easier to put them on.”

She handed the other woman a Starfleet designed breather and showed her how to strap the small device to her back. Then the half-Klingon attached the diving computer to the Captain’s wrist and showed her the basic functionalities. 

“We won’t go too deep.” B’Elanna said after she’d finished giving instructions. “And the Holodeck safeties are on, so just relax and enjoy!”

~

“That was amazing!” Janeway grinned wide-eyed after she took the breather out of her mouth, moving her flippered feet slightly to keep her afloat in the warm water.   
She looked happy and carefree and it made her appear younger than B’Elanna had ever remembered seeing her. A few strands of wet hair had escaped from her ponytail and were now plastered against the side of her face. 

Kathryn smiled as B’Elanna swam closer to shut off the breathing equipment. Their little excursion had been beautiful. She’d enjoyed every minute of it. The wondrous sensation of being underwater combined with the colorful sights had made her feel as if she was in a different reality, far away from the coldness and darkness of space. 

When B’Elanna was done with the equipment check, Kathryn reached up and took off her diving mask. The movement caused her hair to stand out in all directions. 

B’Elanna laughed and reached out to flatten it. “You look like one of those spiked blowfish.” 

Kathryn puffed her cheeks and started laughing too. Then she dipped her head under water to arrange her hair. 

“We should get out of the water. My Holodeck time is almost up.” B’Elanna said regretfully. 

Nodding, Kathryn sighed. “Okay.”

They swam to the platform and took off their flippers and breathers. 

B’Elanna gestured at the cabin. “You can go and get changed first. I’ll check all of this and put it away.” 

In the cabin, Janeway took off the wet swimwear. She quickly dried herself with a towel and got dressed. When she came back out in her Starfleet uniform, she felt like an intruder in an alien world.

As B’Elanna went to change, Kathryn sat down on the platform and stared at the water. It looked so simple from above. It was amazing to know that life was abundantly present beneath the surface. 

She sighed softly, reveling in the feeling of being carefree and relaxed. This had been exactly what she needed.

“Oh, hey, thanks for waiting.” B’Elanna said as she exited the cabin, also dressed again. 

“No problem.” Janeway smiled. “Thanks for taking me here. It’s really amazing.” 

B’Elanna smiled back. “I was hoping you’d like it. It’s good to see you smile again.” 

Kathryn nodded curtly and looked back out over the water, not wanting to go deeper into the topic. Luckily B’Elanna seemed to drop it and also stared in the distance in silence. 

When she spoke, her words surprised the Captain.   
“I thought that maybe you were angry with me or something.” 

When Kathryn turned to look at B’Elanna, the woman shrugged. “Lately you brushed me off quite abruptly a couple of times. Like with the whole sensor enhancement project I’d set up or when I first offered to take you diving in the Mess Hall. And you barely looked at me or spoke to me when we met in the turbolift.” She shrugged again. “I just thought that you really hated me for some reason.” 

Kathryn stared at her, horrified that B’Elanna had even considered that she hated her.  
“I’m so sorry you felt that way.” She stammered. “B’Elanna,” she grabbed the other woman’s arm, “I could NEVER hate you. I…” She stared intently in the other woman’s eyes, willing her to know how true her words were.

“No, I know, I know.” B’Elanna replied. “Tuvok said that it probably wasn’t something I had done. He helped me to see the bigger picture.” 

Janeway frowned, knowing that the Vulcan was the only person who really knew what was going on. She let go of B’Elanna’s arm.   
“Tuvok? What else did he say?”

B’Elanna shrugged. “Nothing. I was frustrated and it was affecting my training. So he asked me what was wrong. He helped me understand that maybe something else was going on, that I didn’t necessarily have to take it personal.” She pursed her lips. “He was right, as always. I mean, it wasn’t because of me, was it?”

“No.” Janeway answered. “It wasn’t because of you.”   
Even though it had all been about B’Elanna, it was not in the way she meant. “And again I’m so sorry you ever thought it was.” 

She grimaced. “Maybe I should start to listen to the Doctor when he tells me I work too hard.” Kathryn continued on the story she’d made up for the EMH in order to give some sort of explanation for her behavior.   
Nobody would disagree with the fact that she had a demanding job and that sometimes it got to her.

“I’m glad you took me here, B’Elanna. Thank you for a wonderful afternoon.” Kathryn smiled. 

“You’re welcome Captain.” B’Elanna replied. “Just, let me know if I can help, you know?” She spoke gently. “We can do this again if you like, or something else maybe.” She shrugged. “You need to unwind from time to time.”

To her surprise, Janeway nodded slowly. “I think I’d like that, B’Elanna.” 

The half-Klingon smiled, feeling a surge of warmth go through her at the thought of this woman apparently trusting her enough to let her in to some extent. She silently promised herself not to betray that trust. 

“I really think my Holodeck time is up now.” B’Elanna said regretfully. 

Janeway nodded. “We should go.”

“Computer, end program.” B’Elanna ordered, and the water around them disappeared. 

They exited the Holodeck and stopped in the corridor as it became clear each needed to go in another direction. 

“I’m meeting Tom and Harry in the Mess Hall.” B’Elanna spoke, unsure of how to depart.

“Make sure to tell them I thought the program was wonderful.” Kathryn replied. She’d half thought about asking B’Elanna to get some dinner, but it was probably wiser to go to her quarters alone. 

B’Elanna smiled. “I will. Have a good night Captain.” 

“You too, B’Elanna.” 

As Janeway made her way to the turbolift, she thought about how nice it was to spend time with the younger woman. At the same time she couldn’t help but wonder if that alone would be enough. But she had no choice. It would have to be.

~

“Well fought, Lieutenant.” Tuvok spoke as B’Elanna had floored him after a long and intense fight. 

“Thanks.” B’Elanna breathed hard. “I really felt in the zone there.” 

“Indeed.” Tuvok replied and handed her a bottle of water as he took a sip from his own. “You have made tremendous progress since our first session.” 

B’Elanna smiled, heart warmed by the compliment. 

She grabbed her discarded vest. “I’d better get going. I’m meeting the Captain for lunch and I would like to take a shower first.”

Tuvok’s one eyebrow rose at that piece of information. “You are having lunch with the Captain?” 

B’Elanna nodded. “Yeah, I wanted to talk to her about the refitting of the sensor arrays and she suggested we met over lunch.”

“Then I assume she is no longer giving you the ‘cold shoulder’?” Tuvok inquired subtly. 

“Oh, that. No, you were right, it didn’t have anything to do with me.” B’Elanna replied. “She just had a lot on her mind, you know, burden of command and all that.” 

Tuvok nodded slowly, knowing exactly what, or rather who, had been on Janeway’s mind. It seemed obvious that she hadn’t told B’Elanna the truth about her feelings. Yet it wasn’t his place to point that out to the half-Klingon.

B’Elanna took his pause as concern for the wellbeing of his Captain. 

“Don’t worry.” She spoke. “I’ll keep an eye on her, make sure she takes the time to unwind. I already took her diving on the Holodeck.”

Again Tuvok nodded, wondering why Janeway seemed to have changed her approach towards dealing with her feelings for the Lieutenant. 

“Gotta go.” B’Elanna said, grabbing her things and leaving him to ponder his thoughts. “Thanks again!”

   
~PART FIVE~

“We will arrive at the Mari homeworld tomorrow.” Janeway spoke, sitting across from B’Elanna in the Mess Hall. They’d finished lunch and now she was enjoying a cup of coffee.

“From what I’ve heard of Ambassador Baltus, the Mari have an extensive industrial background and they are eager to trade.” She continued. “I’m sure we can get some of the parts you need for refitting the sensor array.”

B’Elanna nodded enthusiastically. “Great! There are some other things too we should keep an eye out for: optronic relays, resonator coils,… They’re simple components but they take a lot of time to replicate.” 

Janeway grinned at the other woman’s eagerness. “Well, I think I’d better supervise you when you go shopping… The Mari are telepaths after all. If they sense your enthusiasm for all those things, we’ll end up trading half of the ship in return.”

B’Elanna’s eyebrows rose. “Hey, I’m passionate about my job. Nothing wrong with that.”   
When Janeway rolled her eyes good-naturedly, she shrugged. “But you’re welcome to tag along and keep me from impulse buying.” 

“Ambassador Baltus has generously offered us an extended stay on their planet.” Janeway spoke. “Chakotay will arrange for the whole crew to take some shore leave. So no doubt we’ll have time to go shopping.” 

“Just let me know when.” B’Elanna replied. “I’ll start making a list.”

~

“And this here is Guill.” Ambassador Baltus said to Janeway introducing her to a merchant. The man had a stand at the market of one of the Mari cities the ambassador was showing her. “I believe he will be able to get you most of the components you were talking about.” He turned to the merchant. “Guill, this is Captain Janeway from Voyager. The Captain and her crew are a long way from home and their ship is in need of spare parts. I’m sure you can help her get what she needs.” 

Janeway smiled at the man. “Nice to meet you.” 

“And you Captain.” Guill replied friendly, sensing that the alien woman was not a telepath. His smile broadened a notch. This could give him an advantage in business.

“Would it be alright if we discussed possible trades tomorrow?” Janeway asked politely. “I’d like to bring my Chief Engineer, Lieutenant Torres. She knows the ship like no other and is best suited to explain exactly what we need.” 

Guill squinted somewhat as the Captain mentioned her Chief Engineer. A powerful wave of emotion radiated off her, clearly giving away her romantic attraction to the woman. 

He grinned. These kinds of powerful emotions were almost becoming extinct in Mari society. Since his race had been trying to find enlightenment, all thoughts about primal urges had been forbidden by the central authority. As a result, carnal and hostile behavior had been almost eradicated. Almost, because there was a subculture in which those illegal thoughts were prized possessions and they were traded for thousands of Renns.

“Of course, Captain.” Guill answered her graciously. “Come by tomorrow and I’ll make sure to help you find what it is that you need.”   
And with any luck, he thought, he’d be more than compensated with lascivious and arousing thoughts. Erotic images were not the most valuable on the black market. The real money lay with violent images, but Guill surmised he’d be able to make a small of money with what the Captain might offer inadvertantly. 

Janeway nodded her thanks. “Well then Mister Guill, we’ll see you tomorrow.” 

~

Guill smiled as he saw Janeway come in his direction. She was accompanied by the woman he’d seen in her mind and she looked just as exotic as he’d hoped. He was already looking forward to pick their brains for erotic imagery. They made quite a pair.

“Captain!” He called out in greeting. 

“Good morning Mister Guill.” Janeway greeted him and indicated B’Elanna. “This is my Chief Engineer, B’Elanna Torres.”

Guill nodded. “I’ve taken the liberty of putting aside some parts and components I thought might be of interest to you. Please, feel free to look around. I’d be happy to help you get anything you need.” 

He eyed B’Elanna curiously. Her thoughts seemed to be much closer to the surface than the Captain’s. From the way she scanned the merchandise, he deduced she had a quick and agile mind. But he also sensed frustration bubbling up fast as some components didn’t turn out to be what she wanted. She seemed to have quite a volatile temper that could be easily provoked. Maybe, Guill thought, he could get much more interesting things from her than some erotic images after all. He sensed the underlying current of violence that was present in her psyche. All he’d have to do was find a way to tap into it and this would be a very profitable trade indeed.

The women were picking out items and putting them aside as he approached them. “See anything you like?” 

The Lieutenant nodded nonchalantly. “A couple of things.” Then she turned to him fully. “I was actually hoping to find an isolinear decoupler, but so far I haven’t seen one.” She spoke.

Guill shook his head. “I don’t have one. But…” he added quickly, “my colleague in Elzba might. I will contact him immediately.”

As he walked away, Janeway turned to B’Elanna, indicating the pile of things they’d collected. “So, what do you really need from all this?” 

B’Elanna grinned. “You’re going to make me choose?” 

“And keep you from buying things you don’t really need, saving some Renns for other things, yes.” Janeway added, obviously finding pleasure in it. “What do you actually need for the sensor and communications arrays?” 

“Fine.” B’Elanna pretended to sulk as she sorted through the various components. “This and this…” She pursed her lips and put aside some anodyne relays and an optronic data core. 

She was still trying to reduce the number of purchases as Guill returned. 

“My friend in Elzba doesn’t have an isolinear decoupler either.” He spoke. “But he will ask around as well. With any luck I’ll be able to get you one before you leave.” 

Janeway nodded. “Very well.” She turned to B’Elanna indicating the reduced quantity of components. “That’s it?” 

The Chief Engineer nodded as she surveyed the merchandise one last time. “Oh, and this resonator coil.” She added as she pointed out the component to Janeway. 

The Captain nodded and took the coil, turning to Guill. “What’s your price?” 

The merchant smiled piously. “Only three hundred and fifty Renns.”  
But Janeway was no stranger to dealing with hustlers. “I’ll give you two hundred.” 

“Captain, you will put me in debt this way.” Guill replied smoothly. “That doesn’t even begin to cover what I bought it for.” 

Janeway gazed at him for a while, weighing his sincerity. “Two fifty, Mister Guill. And that’s my final offer.” 

The merchant smiled. “Actually Captain, I sense you’d be willing to raise your price to three hundred Renns.” He briefly looked at B’Elanna. “Lieutenant Torres needs this resonator coil to upgrade Voyager’s communications systems.”

Torres huffed good-naturedly. “Telepaths.” 

“Wait a minute.” Janeway cocked her head with a slight smile. “I sense you’d be willing to settle for two fifty!” 

Guill grinned and held up his hands. “You must have read my mind.” His profit margin would be minimal, but the possible illegal thoughts he planned to extract from both of them, would more than compensate for that. 

“I will put your purchases in a storage container for transport.” He added. “In the mean time, why don’t you ladies enjoy the other things you can find at the market.” 

Janeway placed her hand on B’Elanna’s upper back, nudging her in the direction of the market. “I’ll finish up here. Why don’t you take a look?”

As B’Elanna headed off, Kathryn took out a little purse, filled with the Mari currency and started sifting through the coins, counting to get to two hundred and fifty Renns. 

Guill watched the Chief Engineer go and decided this was an excellent time to pick the Captain’s brain for thoughts he might be able to sell. 

“Your Chief Engineer is a beautiful woman.” He remarked casually, curious for her response. 

Janeway stiffened momentarily at his words but refrained from commenting and continued counting the money. 

Guill immediately sensed she was on alert. He’d guessed correctly that the Chief Engineer was a sensitive spot. 

“Perhaps I should ask her to have a drink with me.” He continued innocently, as if he was merely thinking out loud.

Kathryn clenched her teeth at the suggestion, unable to suppress a flash of jealousy at the thought of Guill and B’Elanna having a drink together. A chill crept up her spine.  
Guill inwardly grinned and turned to her, as if he just thought of something. “Do you know if she’s spoken for?” 

“She’s not.” Janeway replied curtly, wondering just how much Guill could read of her thoughts. 

Suddenly she felt the need to get away from him as fast as possible and she quickly handed him the correct amount of Renns.

Janeway’s response surprised Guill. He’d assumed that she was involved with the Engineer. And he figured that if he showed interest in the other woman he would get her on the defensive and get some hostile thoughts from her.

But instead the ‘relationship’ seemed nothing more than a one way attraction, moreover an attraction Janeway seemed to want to keep secret. That opened up a lot of possibilities. 

“Then you won’t mind if I ask her to have a drink with me alone, would you?” He asked glibly, gauging Janeway’s reaction. If he’d read her correctly, she wouldn’t want her feelings for her Engineer to be acknowledged publicly. 

Janeway fought hard to maintain her composure. “Of course not.” She ground out, clinging to the hope that he wouldn’t ask her after all. The wolfish grin on his face quickly dashed that hope and with a shock Janeway realized that he knew about her feelings for B’Elanna. And he was playing her, knowing how much she wanted to keep those feelings to herself.

Guill grinned, having correctly assumed that Janeway would outwardly not show her frustration, but as a non-telepath did not have such restrictions when it came to her thoughts. The darkness of jealousy and intense dislike radiated off her and Guill breathed in deeply, letting it come to him. He would be able to get some excellent violent thoughts from the otherwise peaceful Captain if he kept this up. 

B’Elanna chose that exact moment to join them again. “Want to spend some time on personal shopping?” She smiled, thinking her commanding officer might enjoy a little leisurely strolling around. 

Before Janeway could say anything, Guill interrupted.   
“Ah, Lieutenant.” He smiled charmingly. “I was just inviting you both for a drink. Just a little thing we do here after successful business transactions.” He waved his hand casually. “Unfortunately your Captain just informed me some important matter with ambassador Baltus came up and she will be indisposed for the rest of the evening. But she assured me that you would be happy to join me.” 

Janeway’s eyes shot daggers at Guill as he conveniently maneuvered her out of the way to make his move. If he wanted to court B’Elanna there wasn’t a damn thing she could do now to prevent him without exposing her own feelings. All she could hope was that B’Elanna would say no. 

The half-Klingon frowned when she saw the unreadable expression of her Captain.   
“Uh, sure.” She replied, thinking that was what Janeway wanted her to say. She’d thought that they would have some time to discover the market together. But if Janeway had other business to attend to, she might as well have a drink with Guill and foster trading relations. 

The merchant smiled broadly as the Captain vividly thought about all the ways she’d like to hurt him. “Wonderful.” He gestured at their bought items. “Why don’t you transport this to your ship, and I’ll close up here.” 

As Janeway initiated the transport, B’Elanna turned to her with a frown. “I thought you were free for the rest of the day?” 

“Something else came up.” Janeway grumbled, reluctantly going along with Guill’s story to protect her little secret. Once again she cursed telepaths. 

“You don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to.” She added. “I’m sure Guill wouldn’t be offended if you said no.” 

B’Elanna shrugged. “It’s okay. I don’t have anything else planned. I thought you and I would go shopping and then get something to eat.” She shrugged again. “But work comes first…”

It was said lightly, but Janeway cringed at the words, especially since she would have no choice but to sit in her quarters alone, while that creepy telepath tried to woo B’Elanna.

Guill returned before she could say anything else and held out his arm to B’Elanna. “Shall we?” 

The Engineer smiled politely. “Sure.” 

Turning around, Guill smiled at Janeway. “It has been a pleasure doing business with you Captain.” He spoke sweetly.

Janeway’s cool nod was in shrill contrast with her vengeful and ruthless thoughts of torturing him for taking off with the woman she desired. 

Guill almost wanted to stay, as the Captain’s wonderfully hateful thoughts sent a shiver of excitement down his spine.

~

“Your heritage is different from you fellow crewmates.” Guill spoke, studying the ridges on B’Elanna’s forehead.

After some chitchat about Voyager and about his business, he wanted to steer the conversation to more personal matters, hoping to catch some interesting and hopefully forbidden thoughts. 

Torres put down her drink and brought up her hand, subconsciously wanting to hide the obvious signs that she was different.   
“Yes, I’m half Klingon.” She replied neutrally. 

“You seem ashamed of that.” Guill added, feeling the underlying tension. 

“Yes. No.” B’Elanna shrugged. “I guess it’s not always something to be proud of.” 

“Why not?” The telepath asked, interested.

B’Elanna cocked her head. “Klingons are warriors who place a lot of value in honor and traditions.”

“That seems to me like a noble heritage.” Guill pointed out.

B’Elanna’s eyebrows rose. “Klingons are also easily provoked stubborn hotheads who should learn to take themselves a little less serious.” 

Guill laughed. “Well, when you put it like that…” He took another sip of his drink. “You don’t seem all that hotheaded to me though.” He continued more seriously. 

“I’ve broken a few noses during discussions.” B’Elanna stated, recalling both the shame and the satisfaction of those moments. “But usually I manage to keep myself in check.” 

“I got the impression that violence is not exactly tolerated in your crewmates’ culture.” Guill spoke. “That doesn’t seem very fair to who you are.”

B’Elanna shrugged. “Majority rules, I guess.” 

“Still it seems like such a shame that you should be forced to deny your nature.” Guill added innocently. He decided it was time to make the conversation a little more interesting by antagonizing the half-Klingon. “A proud warrior like you isn’t meant to be the Captain’s housetrained pet.” 

Guill shivered both with excitement and fear when B’Elanna rose with a growl and dangerously loomed over him. “What did you just call me?”

He held up his hands in defense. “Forgive me, Lieutenant. I didn’t mean to insult you. I merely spoke from thoughts I picked up from someone earlier.” 

B’Elanna leaned back, but her anger was still present. “What do you mean? Whose thoughts?” She demanded.

“I just…” Guill started, then sighed in faked defeat. “I got that thought from your Captain.” 

It was a blatant lie, of course. He had merely picked up on the insecurities of B’Elanna about her heritage and decided to use that to make her angry. And it worked. Now all he had to do was turn her anger away from him and onto someone else. And the Captain, a woman whose opinion obviously mattered to Torres, seemed like the perfect scapegoat. 

B’Elanna sank back in her chair, staring at him disbelievingly. Janeway would never… But then why would Guill say that she did think of her that way? In fact, hadn’t she been sure at one point in the past that this was exactly how Janeway saw her? 

“You have to be mistaken.” B’Elanna spoke forcefully, but uncertainty gnawed at her on the inside. 

“I’m…” Guill started. “Sorry.” He added after a beat.   
“I remember it quite clearly because at the time I didn’t understand. But then as you two interacted, her desires became clear to me.” He said, feeling a thrill of excitement in manipulating the half-Klingon. 

B’Elanna shook her head, confused. “What desires?” 

“She finds pleasure in dominating you.” Guill spoke. “You know, it surprised me she let you come alone to have a drink with me.” He added as an afterthought. 

“What the hell?” B’Elanna fumed. “No one dominates me! Least of all Janeway. I don’t know what you’re getting at, but it’s sick.”

“Don’t shoot the messenger, Lieutenant.” Guill spoke, again raising his hands in defense. He enjoyed the flames of anger that were emanating from the woman. “All I know is that she gets a kick out of ‘taming the Klingon’. She loves it when you act meek and obedient around her.” 

B’Elanna rose again in anger. “I am not a tamed Klingon, you miserable petaQ!” 

Guill was about to lean back and enjoy the show of expletives and violent images that were sent in his direction when a hand gripped B’Elanna’s arm, pulling her back. 

“What seems to be the problem, Lieutenant?” Tuvok inquired, wondering if B’Elanna got herself in trouble again. 

A blond Mari woman at his side turned to the merchant. “What is going on here Guill?” 

“Nothing Chief Constable.” Guill replied with wide eyes. “We were just talking and suddenly she lashed out at me.” 

Chief Constable Nimira threw a condescending look at B’Elanna and then turned to Tuvok. “Your crewmate seems very hostile Commander. Perhaps it would be better if you take her back to your ship before any harm is done here.”

Tuvok nodded, unable to ascertain why B’Elanna seemed so agitated, but unwilling to risk further confrontation. He observed Guill, but the merchant carefully shielded his thoughts from him, leaving him in the dark about what was going on.   
“Very well. Constable, I will see you in the morning.” 

Still holding a fuming B’Elanna by the arm, he tapped his combadge. “Tuvok to Voyager, two to beam up.” 

They dematerialized, leaving Nimira puzzled as to what had transpired and Guill disappointed that one of the most interesting sources of illegal thoughts he’d ever met was taken away from him.

~

“Are you alright, Lieutenant?” Tuvok asked as he and B’Elanna stepped off the transporter pad. He didn’t know what exactly had occurred between her and Guill, but he noticed that B’Elanna was still extremely agitated. 

“I’m fine.” B’Elanna spoke tersely, exiting transporter room one.  
Tuvok continued to walk beside her. “I don’t know what happened, but it is important to work through your anger to avoid letting it consume you.” He spoke helpfully. “If you wish, I can help you take control of your emotions.”

B’Elanna stopped and turned to face him. “I wish,” she spoke forcefully, “that you and Janeway would get off my back and leave me alone.” She didn’t care that a passing crewman gave her an odd stare. “I don’t need you to tell me what I can and cannot say or feel or do. So you can tell Janeway to find someone else to put on a leash, because I’m done being her pet Klingon!” 

With that she angrily continued on her way, leaving Tuvok behind in the hallway. 

The Vulcan frowned, wondering what had just transpired. Apparently, something had happened that angered Lieutenant Torres. What that was, however, Tuvok had no idea. He vaguely wondered if the Mari merchant Guill had anything to do with it. 

When he turned to go to his quarters, he saw the Captain approach. 

“Tuvok.” She nodded. “Have you seen B’Elanna? I heard she just beamed back to Voyager.” 

Janeway had asked the computer to notify her when B’Elanna got back on board, hoping to catch her Chief Engineer and find out if how her evening with Guill had been. 

The Vulcan cocked his head. “I was at the market place talking with Chief Constable Nimira, when we noticed some kind of altercation between Guill and Lieutenant Torres. As Lieutenant Torres was displaying quite hostile behavior, I took her back to Voyager.”

Janeway’s eyes widened. “Where is she?” She asked hurriedly. 

If Guill had done something to B’Elanna in any way, she would make sure he paid. 

Tuvok pointed in the other direction. “I believe she’s on her way to her quarters. But…”   
The rest of his sentence was lost as Janeway hurried in the direction B’Elanna had taken off.

~

As B’Elanna stomped to her quarters, she felt her blood boil more intensely with every footstep. 

The more she thought about it, the more it seemed that Guill was right about everything, most of all about her having become little more than a domesticated Klingon. She couldn’t even go out and acquire spare parts for the ship without Janeway deeming it necessary to oversee her personally. And before, when Janeway had felt she was losing her grip on B’Elanna’s Klingon side, she had ordered her to participate in an anger management course, designed to make her more meek and controllable.

B’Elanna didn’t know whom she despised more: Janeway for trying to control her or herself for allowing it. 

“B’Elanna.”   
Janeway shouted the name as she broke into a half-run to catch up with the other woman. “Wait up.” 

B’Elanna only barely managed not to growl as she turned around. 

Concerned about the infuriated look in the half-Klingon’s eyes, Kathryn spoke. “I heard something happened with Guill. Are you alright?” 

B’Elanna just stared at her commanding officer, not hiding her anger or her scorn.   
She spoke slowly through clenched teeth. “I know.” 

Janeway frowned, not understanding. “Know what?” She asked. 

“Guill told me how you see me. What you would like me to be.” B’Elanna spat angrily. Just thinking about all the times she had just obeyed Janeway’s commands, suppressing her own nature made her even angrier.

Janeway felt the color drain from her cheeks. Her eyes widened. Surely Guill hadn’t told B’Elanna about the feelings she harbored for her? Yet B’Elanna seemed to have learned about them somehow. And she didn’t seem very pleased with that information. 

“I…” Kathryn stammered, unable to say anything as her worst nightmare turned into reality.

B’Elanna’s hand flew up as if she would slap the other woman. “Save it.” She snarled and she brazenly stepped closer to Janeway, pointing at her with her index finger. “No matter what you say or do,” she spoke slowly in a low voice, “I will NEVER be yours!”

With that she spun around and continued her angry stomping towards her quarters. 

Janeway felt as if she had been punched in the stomach as she watched the other woman go. Everything she had sought so carefully to avoid had now happened. B’Elanna had found out about her feelings and hated her guts for it. Things between them could never be the same, and with that she had effectively lost the woman she loved. 

Feebly she reached out to a bulkhead for support as tears amassed behind her eyes.

~

It was 03h17, and Kathryn Janeway was still wide awake. She sat on the couch in her quarters, her feet tucked underneath her legs. She had long discarded her uniform jacket, shoes and socks and by now was cradling a barely touched glass of single malt in her hands. 

She’d gone from being devastated about B’Elanna’s reaction, to being angry at Guill for spilling the beans, to reasoning that secrets were bad for the soul anyway.   
The situation was that B’Elanna knew how she felt and apparently didn’t care much for it. And that was it. Now they had to find a way to get past that and move on. Yet the vehemence of the half-Klingon’s dismissal worried her and left her uncertain how to proceed. She should probably try to talk to B’Elanna, but that prospect didn’t seem appealing when she thought about the other woman’s earlier venomous behavior. 

Another deep sigh escaped Kathryn’s lips and she took a sip of whisky. 

She stiffened as the door chime sounded. Only one person had a good reason to disturb her at her quarters at this hour of the night. And that person didn’t seem too fond of her.

Taking a deep breath she put her glass on the side table and mentally braced herself. “Come in.”

B’Elanna entered and stopped just inside the room as if she didn’t want to get too close. 

Kathryn remained seated on the couch, not sure what to do or say. So she just looked at the other woman, her expression vulnerable. 

After a moment’s silence, B’Elanna spoke.   
“I guess I need to hear it from you. That what Guill told me is true.” She clenched and unclenched her hands, trying to alleviate the tension she felt. 

Kathryn swallowed, but didn’t avert her eyes. There was no use denying it. Guill had correctly read her feelings. 

“It’s true.” She spoke, her voice soft but clear. 

B’Elanna’s look hardened. When she’d cooled down somewhat from her encounter with Guill, she’d told herself that maybe he was just wrong, that Janeway did respect her and had no interest in suppressing her Klingon nature. Yet here Janeway was, openly admitting that Guill was right. And that meant she didn’t see B’Elanna as anything more than a challenge, regarded her as just a pet to be housetrained. 

The half-Klingon shook her head, allowing her disappointment to show. “I thought we were friends. I trusted you.”

Kathryn felt her throat constrict. “We… can still be friends.” She uttered, half-rising from the couch. “I’m sorry if I violated your trust. I would do anything to regain it.” 

“I’m thinking about leaving Voyager.” B’Elanna spoke the words that had been floating around in her mind. She wasn’t sure yet if she really wanted to leave, or even what she would do if she left. Mostly she said it because she wanted Janeway to know that this breach of trust was serious, that she couldn’t just forget about it and move on like nothing happened. 

As if the words had come as a physical blow, Kathryn sank back down on the couch.   
“If that’s what you want…” She stammered. 

B’Elanna snorted. “What I want,” she spoke cynically, “is to be respected for who I am. Not to be subjugated by you or to be treated like some wild animal that needs to be housebroken.”

On the couch, Kathryn frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

“I will no longer submit to things like ‘anger management’ trainings and such.” B’Elanna fumed, suddenly angry again. “I’m not your pet and I never will be!”

Kathryn stared at the other woman as if she had grown a second head. “You lost me completely Lieutenant. I have no idea what you’re talking about. My… pet?” 

B’Elanna stepped further into the room, menacingly pointing at the other woman. “Yes, your pet. From the beginning you’ve been trying to suppress my Klingon side, trying to control it so that I would not cause problems among your precious Starfleet crew. You were domesticating me and I didn’t even realize it!” She spat out. “Making me feel bad about myself, about being Klingon… And I would’ve never realized it if Guill hadn’t pointed it out.” 

“Hold on.” Janeway got up from the couch, suddenly realizing that the two of them were on a completely different page. B’Elanna wasn’t acting this way because she had found out about Kathryn’s feelings. But then what the problem was, Kathryn had no idea. 

She moved to stand in front of B’Elanna. “What exactly did Guill say to you?” 

B’Elanna regarded her as if she had lost her mind. “What do you mean? He told me about how you love to dominate me, how taming my wild side and controlling me is a challenge to you. And I won’t stand for it anymore.”

With every word, Kathryn’s eyebrows rose a little higher. She couldn’t believe that B’Elanna actually considered any of that nonsense to be true.   
She grabbed the other woman by the shoulders, effectively shutting her up. 

“I have never –ever- thought about you in that way.” She spoke, shaking her head as B’Elanna opened her mouth again. “And I have no idea why Guill would say what he did, but you have to believe me.” She searched the other woman’s eyes as she spoke, willing her to believe her words. “I have always, always respected you for who you are. Everything I have ever said or done, I’ve done in your best interest, to help you, not to try and turn you into a more compliant version of yourself.”

B’Elanna shook free from Janeway’s grasp but remained silent. She really wanted to give in to those blue eyes fixated on her and believe everything the other woman said. But if Guill was right, and she just gave in, then Janeway got exactly what she wanted. 

“I want to believe you.” B’Elanna spoke softly after a moment. “But why would Guill say such things if they aren’t true? What does he gain from that?” She frowned, not knowing what to think.

Kathryn sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t understand either.”   
She shook her head. “He riled me up too.”

“How?” B’Elanna asked. 

Kathryn bit her lip. She had to tell B’Elanna the truth. If the woman was going to hate her for the rest of her life, she’d rather it was because she told the truth and not because of Guill’s lies. 

“He… read my mind.” She spoke slowly, still maintaining eye contact. “And picked up on the feelings I have… for you.” At those last words her stomach clenched. 

B’Elanna remained motionless, her face unreadable. 

Kathryn swallowed, determined to see through her confession, regardless of how it was received. “He all but threatened to make them public.” She pursed her lips.   
“That’s what I thought he told you.” She added after a beat. “That’s why I thought you were so angry at me.” 

“What… feelings?” B’Elanna spoke confused, her brain not really getting past that sentence. 

Kathryn blinked slowly. “The kind of feelings…” she spoke softly, keeping her gaze fixed on the other woman, “a Captain shouldn’t really have for her Chief Engineer.” 

B’Elanna opened her mouth but said nothing. She half-shook her head. “I don’t understand.” 

Going from thinking that Janeway was out to get her to learning that in fact she felt quite the opposite in only five minutes was too much for her brain to comprehend. 

Janeway raised her hand to softly stroke B’Elanna’s cheek. “I lo-…” She started to say but the half-Klingon jerked away at the touch and took a step back. 

“I have to go.” B’Elanna mumbled, already backpedaling to the door. 

Kathryn simply nodded, hiding her disappointment. “Good night B’Elanna.” 

Looking confused, the half-Klingon just nodded once and left.

~

Tuvok had waited on the Holodeck until Lieutenant Torres was fifteen minutes late for their training before he went to look for her. He had briefly considered calling her on the comm, but bearing in mind her somewhat volatile mood of the previous evening, decided against that and opted to meet her in person. The Computer had informed him he would find her in her office in Engineering, which was where he was now headed. 

The door to the office was open, and as Tuvok approached, he saw B’Elanna sitting at her desk, staring not-seeing at the wall opposite her. 

He entered the office and spoke softly as to not startle her.   
“You are late for our training.” 

Torres’s head snapped up at him, her mind needing a moment to figure out what he was saying. Then she glanced at the chronometer, noting the time.   
“I’m sorry, I completely forgot.” Her voice was soft. 

“My offer of last night still stands.” Tuvok spoke, referring to his offer to help her work through her emotions.

“Thanks.” She spoke softly but her gaze lingered back to the wall. Then she frowned and turned back to Tuvok.   
“Can I ask you something?”

Tuvok clasped his hands behind his back and nodded. 

“You know the Captain pretty well.” B’Elanna started, and cocked her head. “How do you think she sees me?” 

Tuvok’s facial expression remained unchanged. “That is perhaps a question best answered by the Captain herself.” 

“I’m only asking because of what Guill said yesterday; that she thinks of me as some kind of Klingon pet that needs to be domesticated.” B’Elanna added noncommittally, carefully studying Tuvok’s reaction. 

His eyebrows rose in what seemed like the Vulcan’s version of genuine surprise. At the same time, his questions regarding B’Elanna’s strange reaction before she had stormed to her quarters the previous evening suddenly were answered.   
“Did Mister Guill also mention how he has come by this… theory?” 

“He said he read her mind.” B’Elanna stated matter-of-factly. 

Tuvok slightly tilted his head. “Then either Guill’s telepathic abilities are not as advanced as he claims or he has deliberately given you false information. Because I can assure you his allegations bear no relation to reality.” 

B’Elanna sighed deeply. After Janeway’s little confession of the night before, she’d already been reasonably sure that Guill had fabricated the whole story. Yet it felt good that Tuvok had come to the same conclusion. 

“I just don’t understand why he would tell such lies.” She spoke, redirecting her mind to Guill. During the last few hours she’d purposefully kept her mind busy trying to figure out why Guill had lied, as she wasn’t anywhere near ready to deal with that other piece of information she’d more recently discovered. 

Tuvok took a chair and sat down in front of B’Elanna. “Perhaps you could go over everything that happened between you and Guill.” He offered. “A fresh perspective might uncover facts you hadn’t considered.” 

~

Janeway sat in her Ready Room, working her way through maintenance reports, when the door chime sounded. 

She looked up, catching herself hoping that it was B’Elanna. The younger woman had never been far from her mind since the previous evening. Yet Kathryn had forced herself not to dwell on the fact that B’Elanna now knew how she felt. Even though the half-Klingon’s reaction had been less than enthusiastic, the outright rejection and the slap in the face Kathryn had all but expected had never come.

“Come in.” She called out and Tuvok entered when the door opened.

The Vulcan nodded in greeting. “Captain.” He moved to stand in front of her desk and continued when she threw him a questioning look.   
“As you may remember, I witnessed an altercation between Lieutenant Torres and Guill the merchant last night at the marketplace.”

Janeway nodded, giving him her full attention.

“Since the Lieutenant was rather agitated at the time, I didn’t get a chance to speak to her. However, we spoke this morning.” Tuvok spoke.

“And?” Janeway asked, interested.

“Apparently, mister Guill provoked her by telling her that you were attempting to tame her Klingon side.” Tuvok continued. 

Janeway sighed and nodded. “Yes, I know. I spoke to B’Elanna last night, and tried to convince her that none of it is true.”

Tuvok’s eyebrow rose almost imperceptibly. “The question remains, however, why Guill would have fabricated these lies.”

“That’s what I’ve been wondering about as well.” Janeway said. “In my opinion, he just likes to touch people’s buttons. He certainly pushed mine.”

Tuvok frowned. “How so?” 

Janeway recounted how Guill had found out about her feelings for B’Elanna and had used them as leverage to get her out of the way so he could ask B’Elanna out for a drink alone. 

Tuvok cocked his head, taking into account this new information.   
“Do you recall what you were feeling at the time?” 

Janeway thought for a moment. “I was angry. He was playing with me, knowing I would never acknowledge these feelings.”

“Did you think about saying or doing anything to stop him?” Tuvok inquired.

Janeway paused. “I didn’t say or do anything. I guess I was hoping he would stop on his own accord.” 

“But at some point, did you imagine lashing out at him, either verbally or physically, even if you had no intention of actually doing it?” Tuvok pressed gently.

Frowning as she recalled the events, Janeway nodded slowly. “I was jealous at the thought of him trying to get it on with B’Elanna, right in front of me while he knew I had feelings for her. I guess it’s entirely possible I thought about hurting him.” She looked up at Tuvok. “Why do you ask?” 

“Right before Chief Constable Nimira and I encountered Lieutenant Torres and Guill, she was telling me about their society and how she in her capacity of Constable was becoming obsolete because of the absence of crime.” Tuvok started to explain. “When we approached Lieutenant Torres in her agitated condition, I noticed everyone was surprised at her outburst, as if they were not used to it. That is, everyone, but Guill.” 

Tuvok frowned. “Although I could not clearly read him, it was obvious to me that such sights were not unknown to him. However, while escorting Lieutenant Torres back to the ship, I did not think about that in more detail.” He paused, cocking his head. “Yet as Lieutenant Torres talked me through the events of the previous evening, it dawned on me that she had displayed hostile thoughts long before Nimira and I encountered them. By B’Elanna’s own account, Guill was apparently not shaken by her hostility, and, in fact sought to fuel it further with unfounded claims.”

He paused for a moment. “Guill did not lie to you, but, as with Lieutenant Torres, spoke of things that provoked your anger, to the point of your mental control weakening and allowing violent images to slip through. I believe it’s those mental images he was interested in.”

Janeway frowned. “I’m not sure I follow completely.”

“It is logical to assume that in a society of telepaths that has outlawed violent thoughts, a small percentage of people would be interested in these forbidden thoughts and would go to great lengths to acquire them.” Tuvok explained. “Violence can be thrilling and addictive. I believe that Guill the merchant not only sells technology but also illegal thoughts on a sort of black market if you will, where people can buy violent imagery that has been forbidden over the ages. If these images fall in the wrong hands, they could be very dangerous.”

Janeway’s eyebrows rose. “And we supplied Guill with a lot of them…” She recalled the venomousness of her own anger and could only imagine the hostility of B’Elanna’s mental pictures.

“With your permission Captain, I would like to conduct a discrete investigation to ascertain the likelihood of these allegations before I inform Chief Constable Nimira.” Tuvok spoke.

“Granted.” Janeway nodded, thinking about the implications. The prime directive forbade them to interfere, but by Guill stealing their thoughts, they were already involved. “Just be careful. If this really is a black market, a lot of people won’t be happy to see it uncovered. Confirm your suspicions and leave the rest to Nimira.”

~

B’Elanna sighed as she took a piece of jewelry out of a black velvet bag and let it slide through her fingers. It was an elegant necklace, made of an unusual blue-hued noble metal found on the Mari homeworld. The dark blue pearl embedded in the pendant seemed almost black in the dim lighting of her quarters. It was, B’Elanna surmised, a very beautiful necklace and she didn’t know what she would do with it now.

She’d seen it as she was wandering around at the Mari market while the Captain had been taking care of the financial part of the trade with Guill, and had immediately thought it would look great on Janeway. When it became clear that they wouldn’t have any time to shop together, she’d gone back on a whim and bought it for the other woman as a surprise. 

But now, everything was different. And even though she still wanted Janeway to have it, she could never give it without it being bestowed with meaning that it was never meant to have in the first place.

When she’d seen the necklace, she had known immediately it would look good on her Captain. It would bring out her porcelain skin and the blue of her eyes. But she hadn’t thought about that skin in detail, hadn’t pictured the slight traces of freckling it showed, hadn’t imagined how unbelievably soft it was. When she’d thought of the blue of her eyes, she hadn’t pondered over how those eyes seemed to change color depending on Janeway’s mood. She hadn’t thought about any of those things, because those were the kind of thoughts someone had about a lover, not about a friend. 

B’Elanna sighed as she put the necklace back in the bag and put it away.   
Then she headed for the sonic shower.

 

   
~PART SIX~

Kathryn entered the briefing room and noticed the entire senior staff was already waiting for her. She nodded in greeting, valuing their punctuality. 

Businesslike she started the weekly briefing, focusing on wrapping up trade with the Mari. Only when Neelix began his report on stock updates, did she allow herself to take a moment to glance at her Chief Engineer, whom she had not seen since her ‘declaration’ two nights ago. 

Since B’Elanna had not spoken to her, Kathryn had assumed that the other woman didn’t feel the same way. She never expected anything would or could happen between them, but now that her feelings were in the open, everything seemed so final. No way back, only one way forward. Alone. And although nothing had changed, since she’d been alone all along, the prospect of remaining so seemed rather bleak. 

B’Elanna seemed mildly distracted as Neelix was reporting. Her gaze drifted around the room and she noticed the Captain’s look upon her. Janeway gave the other woman a –what she hoped to be- neutral smile and felt some sort of relief when B’Elanna politely acknowledged it before directing her attention back to Neelix. 

After the Talaxian finished, B’Elanna briefly reported about the acquired parts and their intended use to overhaul and upgrade several sensor arrays. She waved a PADD in the air, directing her attention to the Captain.   
“Harry and I already worked out a schedule for the repairs, so all we need is your approval.” 

Janeway nodded. “Stay a minute after the briefing, and I’ll take a look at it.”   
She gazed around the table. “If that’s all?”

Since there was no further business, the senior staff got up to get back to work. 

B’Elanna took her PADD to the Captain and handed it to her.   
“We’ve tried to make a schedule that keeps the ship’s systems fully operational as much as possible.” She explained as Janeway read through the proposal. “However, there will be some overhauls and upgrades that require a partial shutdown of certain arrays. I’ve included some contingency measures in case we run into unforeseen trouble.” 

Janeway nodded, purposefully keeping her addressing professional. “Looks good, Lieutenant. You have my authorization to begin repairs and upgrades.” She handed the PADD back to B’Elanna. “I expect to be updated on the proceedings regularly.” 

“Of course.” B’Elanna acknowledged, suddenly nervous as Janeway got up to leave. She still wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.   
“About the other night…” She blurted out, and the Captain turned around, resting her hand on the back of a chair. B’Elanna noticed how her gaze softened. 

“Yes?” Kathryn asked, as B’Elanna remained silent. 

The half-Klingon opened her mouth. “I…” she began hesitantly, “I don’t feel… I mean, I… can’t return…” She shook her head in frustration and then looked at Janeway with regret all over her face. “I’m sorry.” 

Janeway’s shoulders sagged ever so slightly as she curtly nodded. “You don’t have to say anything B’Elanna. I understand.” She remained silent a few seconds before speaking again. “I hope this won’t interfere with our working relationship or… our friendship.” There was a hopeful note in her voice at the last words. 

“It won’t.” B’Elanna reassured her. “I value your friendship.” 

With a nod, Janeway sent her a small smile and turned around to exit the briefing room. 

~

Weeks later, Voyager and its crew were again a few lightyears closer to home. Just before they had left the Mari homeworld, Tuvok had indeed discovered the presence of a black market dealing in illegal thoughts. He had notified the authorities who gladly took action to eradicate it and the perpetrators -Guill amongst them- were sent away to neurogenic restructuring. 

After that, B’Elanna and her engineering crew had been working on the overhaul all of the sensor arrays and had managed to upgrade the communications array as well as the astrometric sensors. Voyager was now again in better shape than ever, continuing its voyage home.

Sitting on her bed, B’Elanna opened the box on her nightstand and took out the velvet bag that contained the necklace she’d bought for her Captain all those weeks ago on the Mari homeworld. She thought back to the night Janeway had confessed her feelings for her. After the brief moment in the briefing room, they hadn’t spoken much anymore. Mostly it had been due to B’Elanna’s busy schedule with the retrofit of the sensors, but also, neither woman had been sure about what to say or do around the other one. So apart from official business and some polite pleasantries, not much of any personal exchange had taken place. 

Tonight was Janeway’s birthday party. This would be the perfect occasion to give Kathryn the necklace, B’Elanna thought. It would be a gift from a friend for another friend’s birthday. She’d missed the tentative friendship that had begun to build between them and vowed to start making more of an effort. Janeway had treated her no different than usual, so there was no reason, B’Elanna thought, they couldn’t at least try to rekindle the friendship. 

Instead of giving the present at the party in the evening, B’Elanna opted to give it to Janeway personally. The computer let her know that the Captain was currently alone in her Ready Room, so that’s where she was headed. 

~

As the doors to her Ready Room opened and B’Elanna Torres stepped through, Kathryn couldn’t help but feel a slight twitch in her stomach. Over the last few weeks the hurt of being rejected had subsided somewhat, and occasionally almost vanished. But sometimes she was still caught unawares and it made her weak in the knees. 

“What can I do for you, Lieutenant?” She spoke lightly as the other woman approached her desk. 

“I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.” B’Elanna grinned somewhat sheepishly. 

Kathryn smiled. “Thank you, B’Elanna. Oh, what’s this?” She asked in surprise as the half-Klingon handed her the small black velvet bag. 

“I got you a present.” B’Elanna said, suddenly feeling nervous. Maybe Kathryn wouldn’t like it at all.

Fumbling a little to open the bag, Kathryn let the contents slide into her hand and a quiet gasp escaped her as she held the necklace. She looked up, appreciation clearly visible on her face. “Oh B’Elanna, it’s beautiful.” She spoke in awe. 

“I saw it at the Mari market before all the…” B’Elanna waved her hands, not finishing her sentence and quickly continued. “I immediately thought it would look great on you.” 

“It’s gorgeous.” Kathryn beamed. “Thank you so much.” 

“You’re welcome.” B’Elanna replied. “I hope you don’t think I’ve been avoiding you lately.” She added, feeling a bit uncomfortable. “I’ve just been really busy with the sensor arrays and all.” 

Kathryn nodded. “I know.” 

“I miss our friendship though.” B’Elanna continued. “I was thinking maybe we could go for lunch one of these days?” 

“I’d like that, B’Elanna.” Janeway replied with a smile. She’d missed having the Chief Engineer in her life too. 

“Well, I have to go.” B’Elanna half turned. “I’ll see you at your party tonight.” 

Janeway rolled her eyes good-naturedly. On one hand it was sweet that the crew would throw her a party, but on the other hand she wasn’t used to making a big fuss of her birthday. “Right. Thanks again for the lovely present.”

“I’m glad you like it.” B’Elanna replied before heading out. 

~

Kathryn Janeway felt giddy and figured maybe that meant she should call it a night. Her birthday party had been a success, with great food and wine, some dancing and most of all a lot of laughter. The Captain looked around and thought to herself that her crew worked hard, but they sure knew how to party hard as well. 

“Are you sure you’re going home Captain?” Neelix asked, also seeming slightly inebriated. “I believe ensign Parks is just about to show us a game called ‘beer pong’.” 

Janeway held up her hands. “I know the game Neelix.” She grinned and shook her head, watching ensign Parks and his comrades set up the beer cups. “And I also learned that when it’s time for beer pong, it’s time for me to go home.” She placed her hands on his shoulders. “Thank you for throwing me a lovely party.” 

The Talaxian grinned broadly. “My pleasure Captain, and may I say that you do look lovely tonight. Beautiful necklace too.”

Kathryn smiled and subconsciously fingered the piece of jewelry. It happened to match perfectly with her favorite dark blue silk dress. “Thanks Neelix. Enjoy the rest of the evening.” 

After saying goodnight, Kathryn walked through the corridor and called the turbolift. She sighed contentedly as she waited. 

“Calling it a night already?” A voice sounded behind her. 

Kathryn smiled as she recognized B’Elanna and turned around. “I’ve been too old for beer pong for a couple of years now.” She grinned. “What’s your excuse?” 

“Morning shift.” B’Elanna replied. “And I think I’ve had enough to drink as well.” 

They both stepped into the turbolift as it arrived.   
“Deck Two.” 

The two women stood next to each other in companionable silence for a moment. 

“Your necklace goes perfectly with my favorite dress.” Janeway spoke lightly.

“I noticed.” B’Elanna smiled. “You look great.” She added as she looked at the necklace again. For some reason she noticed the light freckles that adorned Kathryn’s neck and upper chest and suddenly found herself mesmerized by them. 

“B’Elanna?” Kathryn asked as the other woman continued to stare.

The half-Klingon looked up with a feral glint in her eyes and Kathryn’s eyes widened in response. Acting on impulse, B’Elanna crossed the small distance between them, grabbed the other woman firmly and pressed her lips against the Captain’s. 

Kathryn was dazed for a second before her desire took over and she kissed B’Elanna back.

But when the turbolift stopped and the doors opened, she pulled back in shock, as common sense kicked in. Minutes earlier, B’Elanna had admitted to being drunk. And before, she’d made it quite clear that she wasn’t interested. So this probably didn’t mean anything. 

Suddenly, Kathryn needed to put some distance between them and she stepped back, wide-eyed. A strangled sound escaped her throat before she turned around and fled. 

Kathryn had already exited the turbolift and was hurrying for her quarters, when B’Elanna was still trying to understand what had just transpired. Then the reality of what she’d done sank in and a curse escaped her lips. “Fuck.”

Quickly, she also exited the turbolift and ran after the other woman who was already rounding the corner. 

“Kathryn!” She called out as Janeway stepped inside her quarters. She ran up to the door and slipped inside before it closed. 

The Captain was standing with her back to her and didn’t say anything. 

“Look, I’m sorry.” B’Elanna spoke hesitantly.

Still with her back to B’Elanna, Kathryn nodded. “You’ve had too much to drink?” She spoke, offering the Lieutenant an easy way out.

B’Elanna shuffled uncomfortably and took it. “My Klingon side tends to get a bit… libidinous when I do…”

“Right.” Kathryn exhaled. 

“I’m… sorry.” B’Elanna repeated, not knowing what else to say. For the millionth time she cursed the Klingon blood in her veins that just made her do things without thinking them through. She’d kissed Janeway in the spur of the moment, because the alcohol made her more susceptible and less restrained in such situations. She hadn’t at all considered what it would mean to the Captain, or what kind of message she’d be sending. 

“I think you should go now.” Kathryn spoke softly. 

Without saying anything, B’Elanna turned around and left, wishing she could just take it all back. 

After the door had closed behind the half-Klingon, Kathryn sank down on the couch and buried her head in her hands as a sob escaped her.

~

“Is this seat taken?” 

Tuvok looked up with one eyebrow raised at the question. Experience had taught him that usually people –bar the Captain- only asked that question not because they wanted to dine with him, but because they needed something from him. 

He gestured at the seat. “What can I do for you Lieutenant?” 

B’Elanna Torres sat down in front of him and bit her lip. “I know that the Captain thinks that my ‘anger management’ trainings have served their purpose, but… I was wondering if maybe we could continue them a bit longer.”

Tuvok’s eyebrow simply rose a bit further and B’Elanna elaborated. “I sort of lost control of my impulses last night. I don’t want that to happen again.” 

Frowning, Tuvok tried to recall any reported incident of the previous evening involving the Chief Engineer, but came up blank. 

“So can we? Continue our training?” B’Elanna asked, almost pleaded. 

Tuvok cocked his head. “Since I believe that you have made sufficient progress in how to deal with your impulses in a controlled manner, perhaps you should tell me what specific incident made you lose control.”

B’Elanna bit her lip. “I can’t. At least not in detail. It’s… personal.” 

“I trust no one was injured?” Tuvok, always the Chief of Security, asked.

B’Elanna shook her head. “Well, not physically anyway…” She sighed. “I had too much to drink. That always makes me more susceptible to following my urges without thinking and…” She hesitated a moment. “I kissed someone.” 

As she spoke, she realized how silly it sounded. But the harm she’d done with it was real. 

As Tuvok’s eyebrows now both rose in an almost humorous expression, he leaned back. “I take it your advances were not welcome?” He inquired. 

The half-Klingon sighed and frowned. “This person has feelings for me. Feelings I said before I couldn’t reciprocate. And I still can’t.” She shook her head, frustrated. “I never meant to kiss her. And now it’s just all screwed up.” 

Tuvok noted the female pronoun and wondered if Torres was talking about the Captain. If so, he hadn’t been aware that she knew about Janeway’s feelings for her. 

“Do you think perhaps your subconscious was trying to tell you something by kissing this person?” He asked, carefully remaining gender neutral in case B’Elanna had been unaware she’d let that piece of information slip. 

“I’m not in love with… this person.” B’Elanna spoke in hurried but hushed tones, mindful of listening ears around them in the Mess Hall. 

Tuvok cocked his head. “Do you usually go around kissing people when you are drunk?” 

B’Elanna threw him an indignant look. “No.” She huffed. 

“To control your impulses you must understand where they’re coming from.” Tuvok spoke. “Your Klingon side may amplify the need to act on an impulse, but its origin lies within your psyche, perhaps beneath the surface.” 

He leaned forward and placed his hand on B’Elanna’s arm. “Thanks to our training sessions, I’m convinced you have the tools to control your Klingon urges. However, to understand why you kissed someone you claim to have no feelings for, I suggest you examine your feelings more carefully.” 

With that, he got up and left a frowning B’Elanna Torres with a lot to think about. 

~

B’Elanna entered the Bridge and headed over to Harry Kim at the OPS console. They had to synchronize their calibrations to realign the aft sensor array that had been damaged in a recent close encounter with a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ alien vessel. Fortunately it had been no match for Voyager, and had only caused some minor damage. 

She and Harry worked fast and meticulous to set up the calibration routine. As the procedure started, and there was nothing to do but wait, B’Elanna’s gaze inadvertently drifted around the Bridge and landed on the Captain.

Janeway was sitting in her command chair, her head slightly bowed, concentrating on a PADD. 

This is preposterous, B’Elanna thought to herself. She liked the woman, sure. There was respect and admiration, of course. But love? No. Tuvok didn’t know what he was talking about. The kiss had been a result of too much alcohol, nothing else. And it shouldn’t have happened. 

Janeway ran a hand through her hair as she was reading and for a fleeting moment B’Elanna found herself wondering how Janeway’s hair would feel, flowing through her own fingers, before she quickly discarded the thought. Those kinds of thoughts were what got her in trouble in the first place. She shook her head in frustration. 

“What’s wrong?” Harry frowned next to her, thinking she was not happy with the readouts for some reason. “Everything seems to be in order.” 

B’Elanna shrugged, putting her attention back to the numbers on the console. “Nothing, it all looks pretty much okay.” She tapped the console. “I’ll go adjust the EPS flow.”

As she crossed the Bridge to get to the Engineering Station, she noticed from the corner of her eye that Janeway looked up and watched her as she passed by. B’Elanna felt the blue eyes burning on her back as she swiftly made the necessary adjustments. 

When she turned around to get back to the OPS station, their gazes met, and she threw the Captain a small, uncertain smile. Yet the other woman’s expression remained impassive and B’Elanna swallowed a lump that formed in her throat. Quietly, she finished the calibration, willing herself to ignore how those emotionless, steely blue eyes had cut right through her. 

~

In the next few days, Kathryn Janeway kept to herself even more than usual. When she was on duty, she spent most of the time in her Ready Room and after hours she retreated to her quarters. She didn’t feel the need to run into B’Elanna, or anyone else for that matter. 

Tuvok had already picked up on her withdrawal and had visited her in her quarters to check up on her. But stoical as he was, he hadn’t tried to pry or persuade her to talk about what was bothering her. 

The kiss she had shared with B’Elanna had rattled her more than she had thought it would. It had been a tantalizing glimpse of what she could have, yet B’Elanna claimed there were no feelings involved which made it nothing but an empty shell of what she could have. Kathryn would have preferred it had never happened at all. 

She was on her way to her quarters, ready to spend the evening taking a relaxing bath, when she heard someone coming up behind her.

“Captain.” 

Janeway mentally steeled herself before she turned around to face B’Elanna.

“Lieutenant.” She responded coolly. 

B’Elanna inwardly cringed at the use of her title, but, she surmised, the fact that the Captain answered her at all could be considered a small victory. 

“I was wondering if maybe we could have dinner together. You know, to talk.” She spoke more bravely than she felt. She still didn’t know what she was going to say, but she knew she hated the idea of Janeway not speaking to her. She just wanted things between them to be the same as before.

Janeway sighed. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea B’Elanna.” 

The half-Klingon’s shoulders sagged slightly at the dismissal.   
“Please Kathryn, don’t shut me out.” She pleaded.

Janeway pursed her lips and crossed her arms. “Fine. You want to talk? Talk.” 

“Here?” B’Elanna looked around the empty corridor. “It’s not exactly private.”

“It’ll have to do.” Janeway countered tersely. “What did you want to say?” 

B’Elanna frowned, looking for the words. “I… wanted to apologize… again… for that kiss.” She began hesitantly. 

“It’s fine.” Janeway said curtly. “You were drunk. It didn’t mean anything.” 

“It’s not fine.” B’Elanna replied. “I hurt you and I’m so sorry. Please…” she searched the other woman’s eyes for some kind of reaction, “I need to know we’re okay.” 

Janeway exhaled heavily. “This hasn’t exactly been easy for me, B’Elanna.” 

B’Elanna nodded. “I understand. And I have no right to ask anything from you but… I just need to know that you don’t hate me for what I’ve done.” 

“I don’t hate you.” Kathryn spoke sincerely. She placed her hand on B’Elanna’s shoulder. “We’re okay, alright? We are.” She didn’t feel she was quite there yet, but on the other hand she knew she’d just have to get over it. Somehow. Again.

Relieved, B’Elanna nodded. 

“Now, good night, B’Elanna.” Janeway added, leaving her Chief Engineer as she walked down the corridor to her quarters. 

“Good night Captain.” B’Elanna spoke softly.

 

   
~PART SEVEN~

A few days later, B’Elanna woke up flustered as her alarm sounded. Her sheets were all messy and tangled up around her and she could feel the remnants of a certain buzz still flowing through her body. She pried her eyes open, cursing the computer. Even though she couldn’t recall the exact details, it was quite clear to her that her dream had been an erotic one. And now she had to get up and start her shift all wound up. 

After skipping breakfast in lieu of a fast and cold shower, she headed down to Engineering. She and her crew had a busy day planned and soon her mind was focused on plasma flows, magnetic constrictors and sensor alignments. 

She was in the middle of a calibration when she heard a familiar voice on the other side of the room.

“You don’t have to get Lieutenant Torres. I’m just here to get a quick update on the status of the sensor arrays.” 

Torres half turned to address Janeway, continuing to keep an eye on her calibration. “You can access the logs of the modifications performed on all the sensor arrays right here Captain.” She indicated the console next to her. “If you have any specific questions, I’m sure Nicoletti can help you further.” 

Janeway made her way over to the Chief Engineer and threw her a small smile in thanks. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.” 

“You have a rather noticeable voice.” B’Elanna countered lightly, focusing on the readout on her terminal as Janeway accessed the console on her left. She briefly looked up to smile back at the other woman.

“Point taken.” Janeway replied as she called up the data she was interested in and read through it. 

B’Elanna quickly glanced over to the console on her left, to see what Janeway was looking at exactly. As her gaze fell on the other woman’s hands, she suddenly had a mental image of those hands caressing her body and doing wonderful things to her. She frowned as more images from her dream resurfaced and she swallowed hard as she suddenly realized who she’d dreamed about. 

“B’Elanna?” 

Torres looked up at her Captain like a deer caught in headlights as Janeway frowned and pointed at the Chief Engineer’s console which was beeping to indicate her input was needed.

“Oh.” The half-Klingon snapped out of her daze and inputted the necessary command. 

“Are you alright?” Janeway asked worriedly. “You seem a little pale.” 

B’Elanna looked up at her, scenes from her dream passing before her mind’s eye with exquisite detail as she did so, and let out a shaky breath. 

She saw a frown appear on Janeway’s face. “I’m fine.” She mustered up a fake smile. “I just skipped breakfast, that’s all. Guess I’m a little low on energy. I’ll grab something to eat soon.” 

“Well it’s almost lunchtime.” Janeway offered, not entirely convinced B’Elanna would eat something if she wasn’t pushed into it. “Join me in the Mess Hall?” 

B’Elanna hesitated a moment, but didn’t see a way to politely decline.   
“Sure.” 

~

“You must have been starving.” Janeway noted dryly as B’Elanna had all but wolfed down her food. 

The half-Klingon nodded vaguely. “Yeah. I should get back to work, there’s a lot to do today.” 

Having Kathryn nearby with the images of her dream so vivid in her mind, made her uncomfortable. And B’Elanna wondered if it felt like that for Janeway when she was around. If so, she had a new respect for her, because she’d never noticed the other woman acting weird around her.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Janeway asked as they both collected their plates to have them recycled.

B’Elanna frowned and then remembered she’d asked the Captain to go diving again yesterday. She had reserved the Holodeck for that tomorrow afternoon. 

“Sure.” She replied. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Hopefully by then, the dream would be out of her system and she could enjoy the dive.

~

“I still can’t believe how beautiful it is down there.” Kathryn spoke in wonder after they emerged from the water. “The colors, the shapes… It’s like the most alien world I’ve ever seen.” She took off her goggles and ran a hand through her short hair. “Thanks for taking me back here.” 

B’Elanna also took off her diving gear and nodded in agreement. “It’s very relaxing, isn’t it?” She hauled her gear onto the diving platform and pulled herself out of the water. 

“I’m hungry. You want something too? There’s a replicator in the cabin.”

Kathryn nodded as she also got out of the water. “Sounds good. I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

She sat down on the platform with her feet still dangling in the water and looked out at the sea as B’Elanna disappeared inside the cabin. She hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time.

“I got us some sushi and sashimi.” B’Elanna spoke from behind her. “Tom recommended it.”

Kathryn smiled. “Great. I love Japanese.” 

B’Elanna placed the tray between them and sat down, also dipping her feet back in the water. 

They enjoyed their food mostly in silence. 

“There’s still some Holodeck time left. Want to go for a walk on the beach after this?” B’Elanna asked.

Kathryn smiled and nodded, grateful that the relaxing afternoon didn’t have to end yet. 

As B’Elanna recycled the dishes, Kathryn grabbed a light wraparound skirt. The sun had dried her bathing suit and her hair and she was pleasantly warm. 

B’Elanna reappeared and they both set out to the beach at a leisurely pace. 

“You know, I can’t remember the last time I felt so relaxed.” Kathryn spoke after a while. “I even forgot for most of the afternoon that we’re on a starship lightyears away from home.” She sighed. “It’s nice not to have to be the Captain once in a while.” 

“You should get away from it more often.” B’Elanna said. 

Kathryn grinned wryly. “You may have noticed I have difficulty letting it go sometimes. Being Captain, Voyager, Starfleet…” 

B’Elanna thought for a moment before she spoke. “But doesn’t it make you a better Captain if you do let go sometimes? You know, more relaxed, more balanced?” 

Kathryn turned to look at her companion with a slight smile. “Good point. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re conspiring with the Doctor or Tuvok.” 

“Nope.” B’Elanna grinned. “I came up with that all by myself.” 

They walked in silence for a bit longer before Kathryn started again. “You know, and I’m not speaking as your Captain but as your friend, I really admire the progress you made over the last months B’Elanna. I know your training sessions with Tuvok were an order initially, but you gave it a chance and I think you’ve grown tremendously because of them.”

B’Elanna smiled shyly, not accustomed to deal with unexpected praise. “Thanks.” She mumbled, not entirely sure it was all that deserved. In fact, she could think of at least a handful of situations she could’ve handled better in the last two weeks alone. 

Kathryn placed a hand on her upper arm. “I mean it, B’Elanna. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

The half-Klingon shrugged. “I guess I was thinking there’s still a long way to go.” 

“I think you’re closer than you think.” Kathryn said.   
She looked up at the sun in the sky. “Sure is hot out here, don’t you think so?” 

“You’re talking to a Klingon.” B’Elanna deadpanned. “There’s no such thing as too hot for us.” 

Kathryn grinned. “Alright, you can bake all you want, but I need to go sit down in the shade over there for a minute.” 

“That’s okay, I’ll come with you.” B’Elanna shrugged as she followed the other woman.

They sat down on the sand, quietly looking at the waves rolling towards them. 

“I’m glad we’re okay again.” B’Elanna spoke softly after a moment. 

Kathryn placed her hand the other woman’s hand lying on the sand next to her and briefly squeezed it. “We will always be okay.”   
As she let go, B’Elanna grabbed her hand back. 

Kathryn silently held her breath as the half-Klingon slowly brought her hand upwards and put the knuckles against her cheek before softly pressing her lips against the inside of her wrist while slowly sniffing it.

“B’Elanna.” Kathryn breathed softly. She didn’t know what the other woman thought she was doing. She didn’t even know if she really wanted her to stop, but the memory of her hurt feelings after B’Elanna had drunkenly kissed her made her want to err on the side of caution and stop anything before it got further than the other woman wanted to go.

B’Elanna’s head snapped up and she quickly let go of Kathryn’s hand. “Sorry.”   
Without looking at the other woman, she hastily got up and started walking away.

Kathryn frowned and followed suit. “What’s wrong?” 

B’Elanna walked a little faster to put some distance between her and the other woman and scoffed. “When I’m drunk, I kiss you. When I’m asleep, I dream about you. When I’m emotional, I touch you.” She threw her hands in the air, exasperated. “It’s like I have no self-control anymore!”

“Do you think maybe there’s something you’re trying to tell yourself?” Kathryn proposed carefully. 

“You sound exactly like Tuvok.” B’Elanna exclaimed heatedly and Janeway’s eyebrows rose. The half-Klingon felt the frustration rise inside her and suddenly needed to get away from the woman who seemed to be the crux of the problem, before she did anything else she might regret. 

“I gotta get out of here.” She mumbled and started stomping back to the diving site. 

“B’Elanna…” Kathryn spoke conciliatory, but the other woman didn’t turn around. 

“Leave me alone!” She fumed and increased her pace to almost running. 

Completely baffled, Kathryn let her go. 

~

Tuvok was sitting on the couch in the Mess Hall, sipping a cup of hot Vulcan spice tea. It was a habit he indulged in after finishing the late shift, when the Mess Hall was eerily quiet, to come in for some tea before going to bed. 

He didn’t look up when the doors opened, footsteps went over to the replicator and a soft voice ordered the same tea he was drinking. He didn’t look up when the footsteps approached and someone sat down next to him. 

The person didn’t say anything for a while, just looking outside at the stars. 

“I need your advice, old friend.” 

He tilted his head slightly towards Kathryn Janeway. “And you shall have it.” 

“It’s about B’Elanna.” Kathryn spoke softly and continued to tell him about the things that had transpired between them lately, finishing with the half-Klingon’s outburst on the Holodeck. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with her. She seems to be going all passive-aggressive on me.” Kathryn frowned. “When I try to keep her at a professional distance, she can’t stand it and when she gets too close, she recoils like a tightly wound spring.” She sighed. “I think she might have feelings for me, but I don’t know for sure. It might be wishful thinking on my part.” Kathryn spoke softly, referring to her own feelings.

Tuvok remained silent for a moment. “The day after your incident in the turbo lift, she came to me. She told me about the kiss -without divulging it was you she kissed- and asked for further training to help control her impulses.” He cocked his head. “I advised her to examine her feelings in order to determine the cause of her behavior, rather than just trying to suppress it.” He turned to face his Captain. “I believe your theory might hold base in reality.” 

Janeway searched his face, knowing that he wouldn’t lie to her, but afraid to believe he might be right.   
“But why would that be so difficult for her to deal with? I mean, she knows that I won’t reject her. Quite the opposite in fact.”

Tuvok’s eyebrow rose. “I can only theorize that for a woman as Lieutenant Torres who feels things deeply, the intensity of her feelings for you might be overwhelming to her.” He spoke. “Over the last few months, we have trained together in order to control and channel her volatile behavior. The progress she made in that regard was impressive. It is not entirely unthinkable that in her opinion, her emotional response to you is threatening to undo that progress and making her lose the control she worked so hard to obtain.”

“So she’s afraid of herself.” Kathryn mumbled, feeling relieved that it wasn’t her that B’Elanna was afraid of. She grabbed Tuvok’s hand and lightly squeezed it in gratitude for his insights. 

He merely nodded as they both continued looking at the stars, each lost in their own thoughts.

~

Kathryn pressed the door chime to B’Elanna’s quarters the next evening. The more she had thought about it, the more it seemed like B’Elanna indeed seemed troubled about the feelings she had. Although Kathryn didn’t have an exact plan, she felt like it was best to speak to the younger woman about it and try to help her figure some things out. 

“Come in.” B’Elanna spoke, and immediately put her guard up when she saw who entered. 

“What do you want?” She spoke defensively, her arms folded in front of her chest.

Kathryn felt the tension in the atmosphere and mentally steeled herself. She’d hoped that by now B’Elanna would have cooled down somewhat. Yet if she had, it wasn’t much. 

Knowing that their little cat and mouse game could go on forever, Kathryn opted for the direct approach. 

“Do you have feelings for me?” She asked straightforward.

B’Elanna’s eyes narrowed. “No.”

Kathryn pursed her lips. She’d expected that. “Then why did you kiss me in the turbolift?” She asked.

“I was drunk.” B’Elanna replied succinctly. 

“Why do you have dreams about me?” Kathryn continued.

B’Elanna threw her a fake smile. “I dream about Neelix too. I can assure you it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Why did you take my hand like you did on the Holodeck?” The older woman continued.

Frustration seeped through B’Elanna’s cool demeanor. “I just did.” She spat. “Is there a point to all this?” 

“Yes.” Kathryn spoke and ventured a step closer. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid of what you feel.” 

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “I told you. I don’t have feelings for you.” She scoffed. “You can’t make a person love you back, just because you want them to. Not even a Starfleet Captain has that kind of power.” She held up her hands. “So please, stop projecting your own issues on me and leave me alone.” 

Instead of answering Janeway just stepped forward until she was almost toe to toe with the other woman. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” B’Elanna asked, feeling the anger rise inside her. Along with it there was a sliver of excitement that she chose to ignore.

“Challenging you.” Kathryn answered as she searched the other woman’s eyes. 

B’Elanna kept her position as a feral glint appeared in her eyes. “That’s a dangerous thing to do to a Klingon, Kathryn.” 

“I know.” Janeway half-whispered as she edged even closer. She kept her eyes firmly on B’Elanna’s as she spoke softly. “You’re not drunk. You’re not dreaming. You’re not on a romantic beach on a lazy afternoon.” She shrugged slightly. “You’re just here. With me. No excuses.” 

B’Elanna’s posture was still somewhat defiant, but the hostility no longer radiated off her. The look in her eyes was completely unreadable. What Kathryn didn’t notice was her uneven breathing and increased heartbeat. 

“So,” Kathryn continued, “tell me again you don’t have feelings for me. I dare you.” She inched closer still as B’Elanna remained silent. 

“That’s more like it.” Kathryn murmured when B’Elanna didn’t say anything. 

Kathryn closed the final distance and pressed her lips against the other woman’s. She felt B’Elanna’s posture sag ever so slightly accepting the kiss as her mouth opened to intensify the contact. Relief flooded through Kathryn’s veins and she put her arms around the other woman, holding her even closer as they kissed passionately. Tangling her fingers in B’Elanna’s hair, Kathryn moaned in pleasure. 

She was totally unprepared for what happened next. 

All of a sudden, she felt B’Elanna’s strong arms grab her, swivelling her around and shoving her roughly against the wall as the half-Klingon pressed her own body against hers with too much force for comfort. B’Elanna’s mouth was hot all over her neck and she violently tugged at her uniform collar, ripping the fabric until she had free access to Kathryn’s left clavicle. Without hesitation she bit down on it, drawing blood. The sting brought tears to Kathryn’s eyes and a cry of pain escaped her lips. 

With a bloodstained mouth, B’Elanna drew back still breathing hard and looked at the other woman while she swallowed, trying to regain control. 

“You win.” She spoke raggedly, before turning around and exiting her own quarters, leaving Kathryn behind before she could say or do anything.

~

Kathryn shook out of her stupor and ran to the door, looking for B’Elanna. The corridor outside was empty. She called out the other woman’s name but there was no response.   
She sighed and then snapped up her head. “Computer, locate Lieutenant Torres.” 

“Lieutenant Torres is in her quarters.” Came the reply and Kathryn cursed. B’Elanna hadn’t been wearing her combadge when she left. 

Tugging her torn turtleneck into a semblance of normalcy in case she ran into anyone, Janeway started to go down the corridor wondering where B’Elanna might have ran off to. The bite mark was throbbing uncomfortably underneath her uniform, a constant reminder of what had transpired. It made it difficult for her to think clearly. 

As she passed by Tuvok’s quarters, Kathryn stopped and pressed the door chime. Not that she thought B’Elanna would be there, but she hoped Tuvok might have an idea of where the other woman might have gone, or what would be going through her mind. 

After Tuvok let her in, Kathryn quickly explained the situation. Immediately understanding the gravity of the situation, Tuvok accessed his Security console and asked the Computer to search for Kingon-Human hybrid life signs. 

Kathryn looked over his shoulder, wondering why she didn’t think of that. The console beeped and displayed the findings. 

“The Holodeck.” Kathryn breathed and squeezed Tuvok’s shoulder. “Come on!”

~

When Tuvok and Janeway got to the Holodeck, the doors wouldn’t open. 

“Lieutenant Torres is running an encrypted program.” Tuvok stated as he accessed the console next to the entrance. “Holodeck safeties are off. The privacy lock is engaged.” 

He tried to override the command with his Security clearance but was unsuccessful. They couldn’t get in. 

Janeway hit the door, frustration and worry raging through her. “What do you think she’s doing in there?” 

The grave look Tuvok sent her made it obvious that he couldn’t think of any enjoyable reason why B’Elanna would be in there. Kathryn felt a flicker of trepidation in the pit of her stomach.

“Hold on.” Tuvok spoke. B’Elanna was good, but he also had some tricks up his sleeve. After working meticulously for a few minutes, the doors finally opened. 

Kathryn all but stormed inside but stopped dead in her tracks when she entered. The program that was running was the Starfleet torture room that B’Elanna had designed herself to simulate her punishment after getting into a fight with an alien called Vetzak and his comrades months ago on a space station. Only this time, there was no audience. 

B’Elanna hung with her wrists shackled at the chain that was suspended from the ceiling. She had stripped down to her Starfleet issued underwear. Next to her was a figure, holding a Klingon pain stick. From the looks of B’Elanna, the pain stick was set at full force, and it had already been used repeatedly.

As B’Elanna whimpered softly, her tormentor moved again to prod the young woman squarely in the stomach and Kathryn ran forward.   
“Stop!” 

The figure didn’t seem to hear her. 

“Computer freeze program!” Janeway yelled and thankfully the character stopped before any additional harm was done. 

“B’Elanna!” Kathryn tried to draw the other woman’s attention, but she appeared to be unconscious. The Captain hurried to her side and loosened the manacles while Tuvok worked on the controls to end the program and transport them to Sickbay. 

Just before their surrounding shimmered out of existence, Kathryn’s gaze fell upon the character that had been tormenting B’Elanna and her eyes widened in shock as she recognized her own face. 

~

“What happened?” 

The EMH hurried over to the biobed as B’Elanna materialized on it. 

Janeway stroked the other woman’s forehead. “She got prodded several times with a Klingon pain stick on the Holodeck without safeties.” She answered. “She was barely conscious when I found her a few minutes ago, but I haven’t been able to get a response out of her since then.”

Standing back as the Doctor scanned his patient, Kathryn wrought her hands. “Will she be alright?” 

The Doctor frowned. “Her nerves are overstimulated. She’s going into neuropathic shock.” He quickly administered a hypospray and the readings normalized somewhat. 

Continuing his scans, the Doctor frowned again. “The blood in her mouth isn’t hers. It’s human.” 

“It’s mine.” Janeway spoke curtly, hoping he wouldn’t ask further. 

The EMH looked at her with raised eyebrows, trying to determine if the other woman was injured as well. 

Janeway sighed and pulled down her turtleneck, showing him the bite mark. “I’m fine. I’m more worried about B’Elanna.”

Refraining from any comment, the Doctor turned back to his patient. “I’ve given her something to desensitize the affected nerve endings. I don’t think any permanent harm was done, but we’ll know more when she wakes up. I suspect she will regain consciousness soon.”

Janeway nodded, not moving from the other woman’s side.

“You’re welcome to wait.” The Doctor stated, as Janeway didn’t move and he shrugged, retreating to his office to continue working there in the mean time. 

Five minutes later, B’Elanna stirred slightly, her eyelids fluttered open and closed again. She moaned as she tried to move.

“Not so fast Lieutenant.” The Doctor spoke as he hurried to her bedside. 

Janeway stepped back as the EMH hovered over his patient and scanned her while interpreting the readouts. 

Closing his tricorder, the Doctor smiled. “You’ll make a full recovery, Lieutenant.” He spoke softly. “Due to the desensitizer I gave you, your tactile sensations may seem somewhat off, but that should get better in the next couple of hours.”

As he stepped back, Janeway came closer and stood next to B’Elanna. “Thank you Doctor.” She spoke, effectively dismissing him. 

“Five minutes.” He warned before retreating back to his office.

Both women remained silent until the EMH had retreated out of earshot. 

B’Elanna looked away to the opposite wall. “I’m sorry.” She spoke quietly. 

“Hey,” Kathryn replied, “look at me.” 

The half-Klingon reluctantly complied and Janeway captured her gaze before continuing. “You have nothing to be sorry for. And I mean that.” 

B’Elanna didn’t say anything, but the fact that she wasn’t convinced was obvious by the self-chastising look in her eyes. 

Kathryn sighed softly, wondering how she could make the other woman understand. “I don’t know why you needed to recreate me…” she swallowed in pause at the horrible memory, “as the person to punish you on the Holodeck, but I need you to understand that I would never even think of doing that to you, no matter what happens.” 

“How else would you keep me in line?” B’Elanna whispered softly, again looking away.

Janeway frowned worriedly, but before she could say anything, the Doctor approached.   
“Lieutenant Torres needs to rest, Captain. I suggest you come back later.” He spoke sternly. 

“I only need another minute, Doctor.” She replied over her shoulder, effectively making the Doctor step back and leave them alone for another minute. 

Janeway bent down further over B’Elanna, gently cupping her face with one hand, urging her to make eye contact again. “This conversation isn’t over, B’Elanna.” She spoke softly, but decidedly. On impulse, she bent down and lightly put her lips on B’Elanna’s. 

As she stood upright again, she gently squeezed the other woman’s shoulder. “Rest now.” She whispered before leaving.

“Captain.” The Doctor called from inside his office, and she went to him. 

“Let me see that before it gets infected.” He spoke, indicating her left clavicle. 

Gently she peeled away the torn turtleneck. The bite mark was still throbbing uncomfortably. 

The Doctor briefly examined the wound before disinfecting it and reached out for a dermal regenerator. “Do you want to keep the scar?” He asked before applying the instrument.

Janeway raised her eyebrows. “No.” She answered, wondering why he asked. 

The Doctor chose not to comment and quietly healed the tissue. Afterwards he handed her the dermal regenerator. “Here. Keep this one in your quarters.” 

Kathryn took the device and frowned. “Why?” 

“If you’re going to be involved with a Klingon, I don’t need to know about every bite, scrape or bruise.” He shrugged noncommittally. “Of course if more serious injuries occur, I do expect you to come to Sickbay and let me take a look, understood?” 

Janeway stared dumbfounded at him for a minute. Then she blinked and looked at the device in her hand. “Thank you Doctor.” She mumbled, confused and slightly embarrassed at the same time. The Doctor simply nodded in response.

“Please let me know when Lieutenant Torres is discharged from Sickbay.” Janeway added before she left.

~

Kathryn was lying in bed, but couldn’t sleep. Her hand floated back to her left clavicle feeling the newly healed skin there. The bite mark was completely invisible now, but somehow it felt like it was still there. Kathryn wondered if there would be other marks in the future. The fact that the Doctor had given her the dermal regenerator seemed to indicate that at least he thought there would be. 

It was undeniable now that B’Elanna indeed had feelings for her. And she was thrilled about that. Yet the idea of a possible relationship between them being combative and violent did frighten her. She didn’t like the prospect of broken bones every time they made love. From past experiences she knew there was a certain excitement in having rough sex, but there was a certain line where painful pleasure turned into outright pain.

She didn’t really know what to expect. As most humans, Kathryn had heard stories about Klingon mating behavior, but she suspected those stories, like most stories, had a basis in rumors as well as in facts.

With a sigh she got out of bed and put on her robe. She tied the sash and sat down at her desk, accessing the Computer’s cultural database. The Federation database might not have extensive data on Klingon mating practices, but she trusted it to at least be true, and therefore a good starting point.

Some time later she had learned that Klingons usually mated for life, and that violence –indeed- was an important part of mating behavior. There was no reference to any ‘throwing of furniture’, so Kathryn dismissed that story she once heard as an urban myth. 

She also noted that mating often started with very rudimentary behavior involving the senses, like picking up the other’s scent and the tasting of blood. Kathryn remembered how B’Elanna had sniffed her wrist on the Holodeck, and of course the memory of the bite mark was still fresh. 

So far B’Elanna’s behavior was quite consistent with what she could find in the database. Of course that data was about the mating of two full-blooded Klingons and not about one Klingon-human hybrid and a full human, so Kathryn still didn’t know what to expect exactly. 

She sighed and sat back, wondering what to do. She loved B’Elanna and there were definitely signs that the feeling was mutual. Yet the next logical step –to explore the possibility of a relationship- would not be a straightforward one, she feared. 

Logging off the console, she got up and headed back to bed, hoping that sleep would bring sweet relief.

   
~PART EIGHT~

The next morning, Kathryn was in her Ready Room as the Doctor informed her that Lieutenant Torres was discharged from Sickbay, expected to make a full recovery. He also mentioned B’Elanna would only be put back on active duty the day after, allowing her central nervous system some extra time to rest and heal properly. 

After handing over the Bridge to Chakotay for the rest of the day, Kathryn quietly made it clear to him that she was taking some personal time and that she preferred not to be disturbed unless there was an emergency.

The man said nothing of it, and leaving her ship in capable hands, Kathryn made her way to her Chief Engineer’s quarters. Before she could change her mind, she pressed the door chime. 

She entered as the doors opened. B’Elanna was sitting on the couch, reading a PADD which she put down as she saw Janeway.

“Captain.” She greeted the other woman formally. 

Kathryn stepped further into the room. “Hi. How are you feeling?” She asked gently.

“Okay.” B’Elanna answered curtly, not knowing what attitude to assume. She would’ve preferred to be anywhere else in the universe rather than to have Kathryn Janeway’s deep blue eyes focusing on her with such loving warmth which she didn’t deserve. 

“Can I sit down?” Kathryn asked already moving to the couch.

Gesturing for her to go ahead, B’Elanna nodded.

Kathryn sat down and folded her hands in her lap. Her voice was soft when she spoke.   
“I would like to understand why you felt the need to go to the Holodeck and to get tortured like…” She stopped, unable to give voice to the torture she’d witnessed. 

The confusion was evident in her eyes, and even though B’Elanna looked hard for it, she couldn’t find a trace of hatred or disgust. The half-Klingon looked down at her hands and remained silent for a minute, looking for the words. 

“I lost control,” she whispered, “in the most unforgiveable way.” She looked up at the other woman, hoping she would understand. “I deserved everything I got and more.”

Kathryn lightly shook her head. “You think you wronged me so much that I would punish you like that?” 

“I attacked you.” B’Elanna replied as if that explained it. “You would be more than in your right to punish me for that.” 

Kathryn frowned. “As far as I’m aware, Klingons don’t consider mating rituals as a form of attack.” 

“You’re not Klingon.” B’Elanna riposted.

“But you are.” Janeway countered matter-of-factly. “And you’ve inhaled my scent and tasted my blood. All of which are pretty standard ways for a Klingon to convey their interest in mating as I recall.” She scooted over to lean closer to the other woman. “I would never punish you for how you feel B’Elanna.” Reaching out, she put her hand on the other woman’s knee. “If you have feelings for me, why don’t we see where this could lead?” She spoke, her voice a low whisper. 

B’Elanna exhaled heavily. “You don’t understand. It’s not that simple.” 

“Then explain it to me.” The other woman replied, not moving.

Shaking her head, B’Elanna got off the couch and paced to the window. “You don’t know what you’d be getting into Kathryn. Really? A relationship with a Klingon?” She snorted. “What, you think that bite was the first and the last time something like that would happen? Or even the worst?” She chuckled mirthlessly. 

Kathryn also got up and followed her to the window. “It’s not that bad.” She referred to the bite mark, pulling away her turtleneck to show the other woman. “See, thanks to the dermal regenerator there’s not even a scar. I can handle this.” 

B’Elanna exhaled slowly as her shoulders sagged as she looked at the pink unblemished flesh. She lightly shook her head. “You really don’t understand, do you?” She spoke softly, all the forcefulness gone from her tone. 

With a sad look she took Kathryn’s hands. “You’re right, I do love you. But I already have enough trouble understanding and accepting my Klingon half without adding the burden of helping you understand and accept it too.”

Kathryn frowned, not ready to give up so easily. “I accept you for who you are, B’Elanna, human and Klingon part alike.” 

“Yet you removed the bite mark.” B’Elanna stated flatly. 

“I… Yes.” Kathryn stammered, not understanding why that was relevant. “What does that have to do with-” Then she remembered the Doctor had also mentioned something about keeping the scar and her eyes widened. Although bitemarks were commonplace with Klingons, one on the clavicle was special. 

Kathryn could kick herself for not thinking of it sooner. “You marked me as yours. And I undid it.” She spoke, searching for confirmation in B’Elanna’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…” 

B’Elanna smiled sadly. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.” 

Pulling back the turtle neck, Kathryn exposed her neck. “Mark me again. I’ll wear it with pride.” 

But B’Elanna shook her head. “No…” She spoke softly but firm. “I won’t bite you again and I should never have done so in the first place. You were right to undo it. This relationship wouldn’t be fair on either of us.”

A pained expression appeared on Kathryn’s face. “What are you saying?” She asked, knowing full well what the other woman meant.

“I’m sorry Kathryn.” B’Elanna said, looking down. 

Kathryn swallowed hard. Her voice was rough when she spoke. “I’m sorry too.”   
She turned around, needing to be alone. 

After the doors had closed behind the other woman, B’Elanna sighed. The Doctor had ordered her to refrain from strenuous activities so her injuries could heal, so going to the Holodeck to punch the living hell out of something was out of the question. Aggravated, she picked up the PADD again and tried to guide all her pent up frustration to focus on finding the solution to an Engineering problem that had been eluding her.

~

Kathryn leaned back from her console in her quarters. B’Elanna had said that she didn’t understand Klingons and after the initial hurt of being rejected again had passed, Kathryn had started to think that maybe she was right. After all, it took more than knowing a few trivial facts about a race to understand it. 

She had dug deeper into all available databases to gather all the information she could find on Klingon culture that was in any way relevant. She got medical references, romance novels, some old scrolls of myths and tales that were written in Klingon and some scarce notes of alien cultures describing their interactions with Klingons. 

Rubbing her eyes, she was trying to figure out where to start. The medical references might help to build a basis of objectivity and serve as a fallback on how to interpret all the other information, she reasoned so she started with those. Yet it made for a very dull read and pretty soon, she closed the medical reports and accessed the list of romance novels scanning their contents for something that seemed fitting. A few of them piqued her interest and she downloaded those to a PADD to read them on the couch with a cup of coffee. 

The stories started out with too much blood and unnecessary violence for her likes, but hours later, she understood that the blood and the knives and the fighting were mostly contextual and based on following certain honor codes and rituals, rather than being senseless exploits of barbaric creatures. Klingons, she found, could be very sensitive and romantic if they wanted to be. 

A particularly interesting story spoke about a Klingon female who was aggravated because her love interest –a proud and fierce Klingon warrior- had chosen another woman over her. In a fury she killed the other woman, bringing shame and dishonor to herself in the process. Yet not dissuaded from her goal, she tried to reclaim her honor by challenging her love interest to a fight. If she won –against all odds because even though female Klingons had considerable strength, the male warriors were much stronger- her dishonor would be lifted. If she lost, her soul would be forever on its way to Gre’thor. After a long and arduous battle against the man who was twice her size, she was at last victorious and after reclaiming her honor, she pounced on top of him and bit him in the cheek to mark her victory and mark him as her parmaqqay yet. 

Finishing the story, Kathryn put the PADD down and thought about that. B’Elanna had marked her as her mate and Kathryn had undone that by having the scar removed. She understood now that B’Elanna would not try to claim her again. The half-Klingon had rightfully pointed out the futility in trying to be with someone who didn’t understand what it meant to be Klingon. As much as Kathryn would like to convince her that she had at least some idea now and that she was ready to explore further, she knew that words wouldn’t sway the other woman.

If not words, then maybe actions, she thought to herself as an idea began to form in her head. 

~

B’Elanna logged off from her Engineering console, effectively finishing her shift. She had been surprisingly productive today, implementing a more efficient way to correct for entropic plasma degradation in the injector ports. An idea she had thought of while she had been forced to take a day off to rest and had nothing to focus on but Engineering problems. She had successfully steered her mind away from Kathryn and right now she wanted to keep it that way. It felt good to be on the rush of successfully turning a theoretical idea into practical and real results. 

She entered her quarters, unzipping her jacket. She was going to take a quick sonic shower and then head to the Holodeck where Sandrine’s was running for an evening of playing pool with Tom and Harry. It would be a nice distraction. 

B’Elanna was already halfway across the living room when she noticed someone sitting on her couch. She stopped dead in her tracks.   
“What are you doing here?” 

Kathryn Janeway stood from the couch. “I’ve come to reclaim my honor.” She spoke seriously. 

B’Elanna’s eyebrows rose. “Your honor?” 

Nodding, Kathryn stepped closer to her, unfolding a cloth she was holding. “I’ve dishonored myself and you by removing the bite mark.” She handed B’Elanna a very sharp looking kut’luch as she continued. “I want to reclaim my honor by letting you draw my blood as you wish and wearing the scar proudly.” 

B’Elanna’s eyebrows rose even higher. “Where did you get all this? Some trashy Klingon romance novel?” 

She saw a flash of insecurity in Kathryn’s eyes and bit her lip. “You read a Klingon romance novel?” She asked, finding that little fact amusing. 

“Among other things.” Kathryn answered in a serious tone. “I searched the database for Klingon cultural information,” she added, “because I want to understand what is important to you.”

She stepped closer and held the sharp dagger in front of B’Elanna. “Will doing this restore my honor?” 

It was obvious to B’Elanna that the other woman was sincere about the whole thing and she was impressed by the lengths Kathryn would go to for her. “Yes.” She answered seriously. 

Kathryn handed B’Elanna the kut’luch. “Then mark me as you like and I will wear the scar.” She looked the other woman intently in the eyes. 

Even in vulnerability she is strong, B’Elanna thought appreciatively. And she felt her pulse quicken in anticipation. She slightly tilted her head, letting her eyes roam over the other woman’s form as if she was contemplating the right spot to put the mark.   
“Take off your jacket.” She spoke softly.

Kathryn wordlessly proceeded, unzipping the red and black fabric and putting it on a nearby chair. 

“Turtleneck too.” B’Elanna added.

Without questioning, Kathryn also got rid of the grey turtleneck, putting it with the jacket. Her breath quickened somewhat as she stood before B’Elanna in her Starfleet issued bra. 

The half-Klingon gave her a quick once-over and her attention was drawn to the other woman’s left clavicle, where the skin was still slightly pinkish from the application of the dermal regenerator. B’Elanna reached out to push Kathryn’s bra strap out of the way so she could take a closer look. The new skin was now completely unblemished and B’Elanna ran her thumb over it. 

She brought the blade up and placed the tip underneath the clavicle as Kathryn’s breath hitched slightly. With one swift move she cut the skin right alongside the clavicle. The blade slid easily through the epidermis, leaving a clean and superficial cut right underneath the bone. A little bit of blood trickled down from it.

The blade fell to the floor and Kathryn gasped as B’Elanna leaned forward and tenderly licked the blood from the wound with her tongue. The gesture seemed infinitely delicate, intimate and erotic at the same time. 

Kathryn took the half-Klingon’s head in her hands and guided her upwards to kiss her. Strangely, she found the taste of her own blood on the other woman’s lips quite exciting and she groaned as she pulled B’Elanna closer, deepening their kiss.

The half-Klingon didn’t object at all and shrugged her shoulders to help as Kathryn tried to take her jacket off. It fell haplessly to the floor and B’Elanna’s turtleneck followed suit soon after. 

Kathryn’s hands roamed over her flesh and B’Elanna moaned as the other woman’s hot mouth started kissing down her neck. She gasped when she felt a sharp sting at the bottom of her throat. Kathryn had bitten her just hard enough to burst the skin above her left clavicle. 

With dark smoldering eyes, Kathryn looked at her. “You’re mine now, parmaqqay.” She whispered. 

B’Elanna looked back at her, not remembering a single reason why she’d doubted this in the first place. “All yours.” She growled back before grabbing the other woman and pushing her against the wall, this time making sure that she wasn’t too forceful about it. 

Kathryn put her arms around B’Elanna’s neck, both to keep her balance and to pull the other woman closer. Their bodies writhed together as they kissed, and B’Elanna fumbled to undo Kathryn’s uniform pants. Finally she managed to open them and deftly slipped her hand inside. Kathryn gasped as she made contact with her sensitive flesh. Expertly, especially given the lack of maneuvering space, B’Elanna’s fingers entered her, eliciting a throaty moan from her lover. 

As B’Elanna moved her hand, Kathryn’s breath hitched and she thrust against the nimble fingers, increasing the contact between her and her lover. She panted heavily as her arousal spun out of control and grunted sharply as B’Elanna touched a particularly sensitive spot. Her orgasm washed over her as a tidal wave and the strength of it literally knocked her off her feet. Luckily B’Elanna’s strong arms held her steady as she came down from her high. 

The half-Klingon gently stroked her face and Kathryn leaned into the touch, lightly kissing B’Elanna’s palm. 

“Too rough?” The half-Klingon asked, suddenly unsure.

Kathryn smiled and lightly shook her head. “No. But maybe we should move this to the bedroom.”

“You think you’ll get that far?” B’Elanna teased gently, trying to keep her rising lust under control. 

“You might have to carry me.” Kathryn grinned jokingly and yelped when B’Elanna scooped her up and walked to the bedroom where she lowered her on the bed. 

With a feral grin, B’Elanna playfully crawled on top of her lover. “Anything else?” She purred seductively. 

“Yes.” Kathryn whispered, her mouth suddenly dry. “Take off your pants.” 

B’Elanna scooted off the bed and started taking off her boots and socks. Kathryn sat up and did the same, and then put her hands on the half-Klingon’s hips to help slide off the other woman’s pants and panties. Pulling her closer, she reached up to open B’Elanna’s bra, freeing her firm breasts. The dark nipples stood erect like little pebbles and Kathryn subconsciously licked her lips. 

“You too.” B’Elanna spoke in a low voice, indicating the bra and pants Kathryn was still wearing. “Take it off.” 

With B’Elanna’s help, Kathryn quickly obeyed and then pulled the other woman on top of her as she lay back down on the bed. She moaned as she felt B’Elanna’s body against her own. 

Kathryn lifted one knee, pressing it against B’Elanna’s hot center and grabbed her lover’s buttocks at the same time. B’Elanna growled in pleasure, firmly pushing down on Kathryn’s leg. She undulated against the other woman, while Kathryn’s hand slipped between their bodies to stroke her and intensify the contact. 

It didn’t take long for B’Elanna to reach her first orgasm of the evening, given that her blood had already been boiling for quite some time.

After their initial fire had subsided somewhat, their kisses and caresses became more gentle and delicate, as they continued their explorations of each other’s bodies, until it eventually ended in slumber and later sleep, their bodies still firmly entwined. 

~

B’Elanna’s alarm sounded too early the next morning, rousing them from a brief sleep. 

With her arm draped over the other woman, B’Elanna opened her eyes and smiled as she saw the sleepy figure next to her. She lightly kissed her lover’s temple.   
“Good morning.”

Kathryn grumbled something unintelligible and B’Elanna smirked, leaning over to kiss her again. “As much as I would like to stay here forever, we have to get up.” She whispered in the other woman’s ear. 

“Coffee.” Kathryn ground out, not bothering to open her eyes. 

B’Elanna chuckled. “Alright, why don’t you get cleaned up first, and I’ll make sure breakfast is ready.” 

Prying one eye open, Kathryn tentatively sniffed. “That bad?” She asked. 

“You smell like a Klingon.” B’Elanna grinned. “So unless you want the entire Bridge Crew to figure out why that is, I suggest you take a sonic shower.” 

She gently nudged the other woman to get up and crawled out of bed herself.

Ever dutiful, Kathryn sat up and managed to navigate to the bathroom and activate the sonic shower. 

By the time she got out, B’Elanna was waiting for her with a steaming mug of coffee and she smiled, taking the cup and bringing it to her lips. 

“Thank you.” She sighed gratefully after her first sip. 

B’Elanna rolled her eyes and grinned. “What is it with you and coffee?” She asked rhetorically, stepping into the sonic shower. “Oh, I recycled your uniform, so feel free to replicate a new one.” 

“Thanks.” Kathryn answered. She stood in front of the mirror combing her hair and noticed the blade mark below her left clavicle. It had stung a bit in the sonic shower, but it seemed like it would heal nicely. It would probably leave only a thin line, barely visible, but there forever. 

“Put a patch over that so that it doesn’t get infected.” B’Elanna advised from the shower, deactivating it before she stepped out. She lightly touched Kathryn’s back. “You don’t have any other injuries, do you?” 

“No.” Kathryn spoke as she turned around to face her. “I’m just sore in some places, but that’s because they haven’t been used much.” She murmured, touching the tip of B’Elanna’s nose with her own. 

“We can work on that.” B’Elanna replied with a slight smile. She shivered in delight as Kathryn’s hands roamed over her back and grabbed her shapely buttocks. “Don’t start what you can’t finish, Captain.” She breathed, feeling her blood starting to boil again.

The other woman squeezed her ass and B’Elanna firmly grabbed her hands, moving them away from her body. “I’m serious Kathryn.” She spoke determinedly, knowing that if she didn’t keep a cool head now, there would be no stopping her. 

Kathryn looked up at her teasingly from underneath her eyelashes and bit her lip.   
“Tonight?” She asked hopefully. 

“You bet.” B’Elanna smiled and dropping the other woman’s hands, nudging her out of the bathroom. “Now, get dressed and have some breakfast. You’ll need to keep your strength up.” She spoke teasingly. 

Smiling, Kathryn replicated a fresh uniform and got dressed, grabbing some peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in the mean time. 

After donning her own uniform, B’Elanna grabbed Kathryn by her jacket for a quick peck on the lips just before the other woman left. “Have a nice day.” She smiled. 

“Can’t wait for it to be over.” Kathryn replied as she headed out the door.

 

   
~PART NINE~

B’Elanna had a rough time keeping the smile from her face as she worked. The memories of the previous evening and night brought on warm feelings that were nearly impossible to hide. 

B’Elanna snapped out of her reveries as she felt voyager drop out of warp at the same time Nicoletti tapped her shoulder to get her attention. 

“Hmm?” The Chief Engineer turned around, hoping that the other woman had not noticed her lapse in concentration. 

But she needn’t have worried. The younger woman was paying no attention to her, instead tapping her console with rising impatience. 

“What seems to be the problem?” B’Elanna asked looking over Nicoletti’s shoulder. A large symbol covering the entire screen immediately made her frown. “What’s this?” 

“It is the Greek capital letter omega.” Vorrik announced in his dispassionate Vulcan voice and B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “It is currently on every display in Engineering, preventing us from accessing any of the systems.”

B’Elanna wasted no time and tapped her combadge. “Engineering to Bridge.”

“I’m working on it Lieutenant.” Came the succinct reply from the Captain before Torres had the chance to say anything else. “There. Better?” She asked as all the screens went back to normal. 

B’Elanna frowned, looking around confusedly. “Yes Captain.” 

“Send all information about this to my Ready Room.” Janeway added curtly. “Janeway out.” 

With a shrug, B’Elanna complied, wondering what the whole thing was about. But as this omega –whatever it was- had shut down most primary systems, she had her hands full on reinitializing them and running diagnostics. 

The day passed before she realized it, and when she finally got her department completely up and running again, she noticed that it was already quite late. 

Retreating to the privacy of her office, she tapped her combadge. “Torres to Janeway.”

The Captain sounded distracted as she answered. “What is it Lieutenant?”

“You want to grab something to eat in the Mess Hall, or do you prefer to replicate something in my quarters?” B’Elanna asked, secretly hoping for the latter so she would have the other woman completely to herself. 

There was a pause on the other side as if Janeway hadn’t considered the time. “I’m afraid I’m too busy for dinner, B’Elanna.” She answered. 

“Oh.” B’Elanna paused for a second, a little hurt by the rebuff. But then, Kathryn was first and foremost the Captain of this ship, which meant she didn’t have the luxury of turning away from duty every time she wanted to. “Well, you have to eat.” B’Elanna spoke lightly, attempting to be supportive. “I could bring you something.” 

“No, that’s fine B’Elanna.” The Captain again refused. “But thanks.” She added, a little softer, aware that the other woman meant well. 

“What are you working on?” B’Elanna inquired, sensing that the dismissal wasn’t personal. “Does it have something to do with that omega thing of this morning?” 

Janeway sighed. “I can’t explain right now, B’Elanna. I’ll have further instructions for you soon, alright? Janeway out.”

Before B’Elanna had time to contemplate her lover’s dismissive tone, the doors to her office opened and Harry stuck his head inside. 

“We’re heading for Sandrine’s. Are you coming too?” He asked jovially. 

B’Elanna sighed. She didn’t want to sit around alone this evening, thinking of what might have been. “Sure.” She answered. Maybe the others knew more about what was going on with the whole omega business.

~

The next morning, B’Elanna was in Engineering before her shift even started. She hadn’t slept well, her mind on Kathryn and the whole secretive omega business. Harry, Tom and some others had been comparing notes on what they had learned about the incident of the previous day, but in the end they still didn’t have much to go on. All they knew for sure was that the Captain had some answers. She’d been locked inside her Ready Room for the duration and there had been no further elaboration on what exactly the rumored Omega Directive implied. All people knew was that it seemed serious. 

She looked up when Chakotay entered Engineering with Tom in his wake. He came in her direction, motioning Seven to join them. 

“I have orders from the Captain.”

“What’s going on Chakotay? Why all the secrecy?” B’Elanna asked as they gathered.

The man half-shrugged. “I’ve been informed this is a highly classified mission. Information will be provided on a need-to-know basis. Captain’s orders.”

“Classified?” B’Elanna huffed. “By whom? We’re sixty thousand light years away from Starfleet.”

Chakotay shrugged again. “Like I said: need-to-know.” He handed the Chief Engineer a PADD. “B’Elanna, she wants you to install multiphasic shielding around the warp core.”

Torres frowned as she read through the specs. “I’ve never seen this shield configuration. I’d like to run a couple of computer simulations to make sure it’s stable.”

Shaking his head, Chakotay replied. “No time. She needs this done by eleven hundred hours.”

B’Elanna raised her eyebrows. “Eleven hundred? I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Make it possible.” Chakotay replied impatiently. 

Seven cut in. “Are we attempting to protect the core from some sort of subspace radiation?” 

“I don’t know any more than you do.” Chakotay spoke.

“It will be difficult to complete the task without more data.” Seven protested.

“The data you’ve got will have to do.” Chakotay closed the subject while handing out other PADDs with instructions.

“Does this all have to do with that secret message we received yesterday?” B’Elanna asked, her curiosity too strong to ignore.

Chakotay sighed, recognizing their frustrations. “What have you heard?”

B’Elanna looked at Tom, recalling their conversation at Sandrine’s the previous night. “Rumors, mainly. The Captain’s been locked in her Ready Room since then. Something about an Omega Directive.” She trailed off.

“Omega?” Seven asked, surprised. 

“Ring a bell?” Tom inquired, eager to hear more.

Chakotay quickly put a stop to it. “Look, the speculation ends right here. Now, I expect you to carry out your assignments with a minimum of gossip, understood?” He sighed. “I know it’s hard not to wonder. Frankly, I’m curious myself, but the Captain was very adamant about this.” He indicated their PADDs. “Get going.” Then he looked at Seven. “The Captain wants to see you.” 

The Borg nodded. “I thought she might.” 

As they left Engineering together, B’Elanna stared at the ex-drone’s back, finding it difficult not to be jealous. It had hurt not to be included in whatever the Captain was involved in, but that feeling had lessened somewhat when she’d realized that not even Chakotay was in on it. And she knew that just because she was now the Captain’s lover, didn’t mean that she had special rights. But now, it seemed that Janeway was indeed going to confide in someone, and of all people, it had to be the Borg bitch. 

~

Kathryn Janeway looked up distractedly as the Computer informed her that Lieutenant Torres was requesting entrance to her Ready Room. 

She bit her lip, remembering how she had to cancel their dinner plans –she forgot how long ago that was- and cringed at the idea that the other woman might be mad at her even though she’d had no other choice. Yet Kathryn knew that if she was going to deny her entrance to the Ready Room right now, she’d be pushing it too far. 

Quietly she instructed the Computer to grant the woman access. 

B’Elanna entered the room, half surprised that she actually got in. “I brought you something to eat.” She spoke, placing a plate she got from Neelix in front of the other woman. 

It smelled quite good and Kathryn suddenly realized she was hungry. She grabbed B’Elanna’s hand and squeezed it. “Thank you.” She spoke sincerely.

“Got to keep your strength up.” B’Elanna said with a small smile as she watched Kathryn eat. 

“I’ve installed the multiphasic shielding around the warp core.” She reported. “Interesting design. I’ve never seen it before. Where did you get it?” 

Janeway paused for a moment, her fork dangling in front of her mouth before she continued. “That’s classified.” 

“Does it have to do with this so called Omega Directive?” B’Elanna inquired further. She partly wanted to know out of scientific curiosity, but another part of her was worried about what her lover was getting into. 

“Protocol forbids me to discuss this with any of my crew, B’Elanna. I’m sorry.” Kathryn spoke, looking at the other woman pleadingly, hoping she would drop the matter.

But B’Elanna was too stubborn for that. “Protocol? Kathryn, we’re sixty thousand light years from Starfleet. I won’t tell if you won’t, trust me.”

Sighing, Kathryn got up from her chair and went around her desk to stand in front of the other woman. “If this were a simple matter of trust, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you. But we’ve encountered situations where information was taken from us by force. I can’t allow knowledge of Omega to go beyond Voyager.” She looked the other woman intently in the eyes. “Surely you can understand.” She whispered.

B’Elanna folded her arms. “You spoke to Seven.” She stated evenly.

“The Borg have assimilated Starfleet Captains and Flag Officers. She knows everything about Omega I do, even more.” Kathryn replied matter-of-factly. “My choices are to either confine her to quarters, or work with her.” She sighed. “Considering what we’re facing, I’d rather have her expertise on my side.” 

B’Elanna exhaled heavily. “I don’t like this Kathryn. I heard Tom is modifying a shuttle to withstand extreme thermal stress, up to more than twelve thousand degrees Kelvin.” She frowned. “And Harry is working on a warhead with an explosive yield of more than fifty isotons. What are you planning to do, blow up a small planet?” 

Kathryn took the other woman’s hand. “Seven and I will leave in that shuttle tomorrow morning. Either we’ll be successful and be back within a few days, or...” 

B’Elanna looked skeptical. “Or?” 

The look of defeat on Kathryn’s face told her all she needed to know. 

“I find it hard to believe that Starfleet would order a Captain on a suicide mission.” B’Elanna fulminated. “This little shuttle excursion is your idea, isn’t it?” 

“Let’s just say I had to amend the directive, given the circumstances.” Kathryn admitted. “When this directive was issued many years ago, Starfleet didn’t exactly have our predicament in mind: lost in the Delta Quadrant, with no backup.”

“All the more reason to let the crew in on it and help you carry out this crazy mission – whatever it is.” B’Elanna said exasperated. “Won’t this plan of yours have much more chance of succeeding if we can pool our resources and work together?” 

Before Kathryn could say anything, a comm signal interrupted them. 

“Seven of Nine to the Captain. Report to Astrometrics.” 

Kathryn’s hand flew to her combadge. “On my way.” She acknowledged.   
Then she turned her attention back to B’Elanna. “We’ll talk about this later. In the mean time, will you help Tom reinforce the shuttle hull?”

B’Elanna nodded sullenly and grabbed the other woman by the shoulders before she could leave and kissed her deeply, trying to convey all the love she felt for her. Kathryn kissed her back with just as much force and when they parted, they were both panting. 

They held each other close, foreheads touching. 

“I’d hate for this to be our last kiss…” B’Elanna said in a small voice. 

“It won’t be.” Kathryn spoke with more confidence than she felt. “I promise.” 

~

As Janeway entered Astrometrics, the blonde ex-Borg began without preamble.   
“I’ve analyzed the sensor logs using Borg algorithms. The shockwave we detected indicates not one but possibly hundreds of omega molecules.”

“Location?” Janeway barked. 

“Within ten light years.” Seven replied, displaying a chart of the region. “I’m having difficulty isolating the exact star system.” 

“Hundreds of molecules.” Janeway breathed. “That changes everything.” She mentally did some calculations. “We’ll need more firepower.” She spoke. 

She couldn’t wrap her head around it: hundreds of Omega molecules, each containing as much energy as a warp core. A chain reaction with only a handful of those molecules could devastate subspace across an entire quadrant. Space travel as they knew it would cease to exist. It baffled her mind even considering it. 

“A simple shuttle mission to destroy all the molecules may be insufficient.” Seven stated. “We require the resources of the entire crew.” 

The Captain rolled her eyes. “Not you too, Seven.” She mumbled, still thinking about the possible implications of what they were facing. 

Ignoring her, Seven brought up a schematic and put it on the view screen before turning to the Captain with a smug look on her face. 

“What’s that?” Janeway asked. 

“A harmonic resonance chamber.” The blonde replied evenly. “The Borg designed it to contain and stabilize Omega. I believe it can be adapted to destroy Omega by emitting an inverse frequency to dissolve its interatomic bonds.”

Janeway studied the schematics, immediately understanding that this solution was not only more elegant than bombing the whole thing, but it also allowed for a much more controllable and safe way to get rid of Omega.   
If it worked, that was. 

“Adapt the schematics and run some simulations. I want to know if this can work.” She ordered.

“It will work.” Seven stated with Borg-like confidence. 

Janeway glared at her. “Run the simulations anyway. This is too important to take any chances.” She turned around and walked to the door. “I’ll be briefing the senior staff.”

~

Captain Kathryn Janeway stood behind her chair in the Briefing Room and gazed around the table, seeing the expectant faces looking at her with impatience. She briefly locked eyes with B’Elanna, who almost imperceptibly nodded in encouragement. 

She took a deep breath. “If we were in the Alpha Quadrant right now, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’d be in contact with Starfleet Command and they’d send in a specialized team to deal with the crisis. In their absence, we’re going to have to make do with the training I received and the knowledge Seven of Nine has retained from the Borg.” 

Janeway moved to the console on the wall and tapped it so that the Omega symbol appeared. “You’ve all seen this symbol. Omega.” She paused. “What you’re about to hear will not go beyond these bulkheads. Is that clear?” She looked pointedly to each and every one of her officers, then tapped the console. “This is Omega.” 

“A molecule?” Tom Paris asked, surprised. 

“Not just any molecule.” Janeway explained. “The most powerful substance known to exist. A single Omega molecule contains the same energy as a warp core. In theory, a small chain of them could sustain a civilization.” She briefly sketched how Starfleet had discovered the molecule and how the Omega Directive had been established after the accident in the Lantara sector had occurred, destroying subspace there as a result. 

“Sensors have detected more than a hundred molecules less than ten light years from here.” She concluded, pausing to let the enormity of that sink in. “I don’t have to tell you that this means subspace throughout this entire quadrant could be destroyed.” 

She put up another image on the view screen. “I’ve been authorized to destroy Omega by any means necessary.” The image of the harmonic resonance chamber appeared. 

“Unfortunately, the explosive yield of the warhead that Harry has been modifying won’t be enough to destroy all of Omega.” She pointed to the view screen. “With her knowledge of Borg technology, Seven has developed a harmonic resonance chamber that can safely neutralize Omega if we can transport it in there successfully.”

Janeway displayed the star chart of the region. “We know Omega is present in this star system. Seven is still trying to determine its exact location.” She paused. “For this plan to succeed, Voyager will have to get within transporter range of Omega’s location. We’ll need to set up transport enhancers to ensure a safe and stable transport. To that end, an away team, consisting of myself, Tuvok and B’Elanna, will fly to the location in a shuttle and set up the enhancers. Once Omega is safely transported to the harmonic resonance chamber, we will leave the system and hold position here, in this relatively uninhabited part of space until all of Omega is neutralized.” 

She looked around the table. “Tom, you’ll pilot Voyager and navigate this sector. There is already severe damage to subspace, so warp drive will not be possible.” 

The blond pilot nodded gravely and Kathryn turned to her young and trusted ensign. 

“Harry, you’ll help Seven with the harmonic resonance chamber.” 

She addressed the EMH. “Doctor, please prepare hyposprays with arithrazine to protect the away team from possible radiation poisoning. I’m thinking twenty milligrams per person should suffice.” 

Kathryn took a few steps to the side and put her hands on Chakotay’s shoulders. “Commander Chakotay will coordinate the operation from Voyager.” 

Gravely, she looked around the room again. “We’ll only have one chance for this people. There is simply no margin for error, and unfortunately dozens of things that can go wrong.” She paused. “Yet we have an obligation to the entire galaxy to neutralize this threat.” Janeway sighed before concluding her talk. “We all have our work cut out for us. Dismissed.” 

Most of the senior staff got up, still processing the enormity of what they had just heard. Janeway could relate to that feeling. She felt disconnected from Starfleet now more than ever. 

Tuvok and B’Elanna remained seated and she approached them, leaning against the table. “I think you both realize the responsibility that rests on our shoulders.” 

Both officers nodded gravely. “We will not let you down, Captain.” Tuvok stated for both of them. Janeway squeezed his shoulder. “I have no doubt about that, old friend.” 

He got up from his chair. “If you’ll excuse me. I intend to familiarize myself further with the details of Omega.” 

As he left, Kathryn sighed and B’Elanna scooted closer to her, squeezing her hand. “Thank you for telling us.” She spoke softly. “And thanks for taking me with you.”

“You know I didn’t do you a favor, B’Elanna. We might not come back from this one.” Kathryn spoke gravely. 

B’Elanna remained silent, choosing not to mull over that particular fact. “It will take us a couple of hours to reach the site at sublight speeds.” She quickly calculated. “I think you should use the time to get some rest. You’ve been up for almost two days straight now.” 

Kathryn nodded. “You’re right.” She looked B’Elanna in the eyes. “Will you stay with me?” She asked, looking very fragile all of a sudden. 

“Of course.” B’Elanna replied softly. 

~

The atmosphere in the shuttle was one of grim determination.

Before they left, Kathryn had been able to sleep for a couple of hours, safely ensconced in B’Elanna’s loving arms. The half-Klingon had held her while opting to read through the available information on Omega in favor of sleep. When Kathryn had woken up, they had both showered and dressed, and before they had left the Captain’s quarters, they had shared a simple kiss, followed by a long and tight embrace. 

“See you at the Shuttle Bay.” Kathryn had spoken in a rough voice, finding it difficult to regain her composure, before going to check up on Seven of Nine’s progress on the harmonic resonance chamber. 

When they had met there about an hour later, her Captain’s façade had been in place and she was totally focused on the task at hand.

Now, Tuvok was piloting the shuttle to the M-class moon where Omega had been detected while Voyager stayed behind just within transporter range. If something went wrong, it was imperative that they were as far away from the catastrophe as possible if they wanted any chance of surviving it. The away team in the shuttle would not be so lucky if such an event occurred. 

B’Elanna was at the OPS console, scanning the moon trying to find out what they would be facing. 

“There’s a subnucleonic reaction occurring in the upper atmosphere.” She spoke, catching the Captain’s attention. 

Janeway immediately came to stand by her side, examining the data on B’Elanna’s console. “It’s apparently emanating from a structure on the moon’s surface.” 

“Can you get a visual?” The Captain asked.

“Stand by…” B’Elanna spoke, accessing the sensor array. 

An image appeared on the screen and Janeway gasped. “My god.” 

The damage on the screen appeared to be enormous. 

“Over three hundred thousand square kilometers destroyed.” Torres stated solemnly. 

“Scan the structure.” Janeway ordered. “Are there any Omega molecules remaining?” 

B’Elanna tapped her console and shook her head. “I can’t tell. Several sections of the building are still shielded.”

“Life signs?” Janeway asked.

B’Elanna shook her head. “None as far as I can tell.” 

Janeway looked grim and addressed both her officers. “Alright. Find a place to land.”

“With all the subnucleonic activity in the upper atmosphere, we will encounter heavy turbulence during our descent.” Tuvok warned.

Understanding the implied request, Janeway sat down next to him and accessed the navigation console to assist the Vulcan. 

The descent was indeed rocky and at one point Tuvok nearly lost control of the shuttle as its engines stalled. However, B’Elanna was able quickly to reinitialize the driver coils and Tuvok managed to get them out of their downward spin.

A collective breath was taken as the shuttle safely touched the ground. 

As Tuvok powered down the engines, Torres scanned their surroundings. “The radiation levels are quite high.” She spoke worriedly.

“The arithrazine inoculations will protect us for a couple of hours.” Janeway spoke. “Can you determine the location of the molecules?” 

B’Elanna tapped her console. “I’m picking up Omega’s resonance frequency, but I can’t pinpoint the exact location. The building is heavily shielded. We’ll have to go inside and see if we can get a clearer reading there.” 

All three away members grabbed their tricorders and other gear and got out of the shuttle. The place was deserted and eerily quiet.

“This way.” B’Elanna spoke, indicating a door. Inside the building it was dark and the away team switched on their wrist lights. “The resonance frequency is strongest in that direction.” B’Elanna added, heading there. 

They stepped past a few bodies, no doubt of the scientists who had been working with Omega. All of them were dead. 

“Here.” She spoke when they entered the next room and pointed at the opposite wall where some sort of hatch could be made out. “This would seem to be the primary reaction chamber. Omega is still in there.” 

Tuvok scanned the hatch. “This door is solid duritanium, thirteen centimeters thick.”

“Can we get it open?” Janeway asked, knowing they would have to get closer for the transport enhancers to work.

“The duritanium has melted into the frame.” Tuvok spoke. “We’ll need to cut through the metal with phasers.” 

Janeway nodded. “Do it.”

As B’Elanna grabbed her phaser, Tuvok turned to Janeway. “Captain, I’d be negligent if I didn’t point out that we’re about to violate the Prime Directive.” 

“For the duration of this mission, the Prime Directive has been rescinded.” Janeway stated grimly. She nodded at B’Elanna who was standing by with the phaser. “Let’s get this over with.”

After a few minutes, Tuvok and B’Elanna powered down their phasers.

“We’ve disabled the locking mechanism.” Tuvok spoke. 

Janeway nodded. “Narrow your phaser beams to cut through the inner seal.” She ordered.

Tuvok shook his head. “Inadvisable. We’d risk penetrating the confinement field.” 

“Then we’ll have to use some elbow grease.” Janeway stated dryly, but before she could get her hands dirty, B’Elanna was already on it, removing the seals and pulling the heavy door aside with Tuvok’s help. 

“My god.” Janeway breathed when she could see inside. “There’s enough here to wipe out subspace across half the quadrant.”

“I’ll have Voyager target this facility with the gravimetric charge Ensign Kim developed as a precautionary measurement.” Tuvok spoke.

Janeway shook her head grimly. “It won’t be enough. We’ll have to transport it into the harmonic resonance chamber that Seven designed to neutralize the molecules and hope it works.” She turned to B’Elanna who was standing at one of the operator consoles. “We’ll have to find a way to shut down this containment field if we’re going to transport the molecules.” 

“Already on it Captain.” Torres answered. She displayed some of the data. “It appears that these people were using Omega’s own resonance frequency to calculate the field. That’s how they were stabilizing the molecule. It’s a quite ingenious approach.” 

“But obviously not an infallible one.” Tuvok commented, alluding to the explosion that had unmistakably occurred.

“Keep working on getting that containment field down.” Janeway told B’Elanna. “Tuvok.” She spoke, handing him the transport enhancers. “Let’s go around the chamber to see where we can set up these.” 

They disappeared in the nearby corridor to set up the enhancers while B’Elanna kept working on the containment field. After a few minutes, they found suitable spots to set up the transport enhancers. 

“Janeway to Torres.” The Captain spoke. “Can you give us the frequency of the dampening field so we can adjust the transport settings to match?” 

“One point six eight terahertz, Captain. Make sure to set the angular confinement to- Argh!” Torres cried out and the connection went dead.

“B’Elanna!” Kathryn shouted and got up, dragging Tuvok along with her as she started running down the corridor back to where they had left the Chief Engineer. “Come on!”

They saw Torres lying on the floor, some blood trickling from a gash at the side of her head. 

Kathryn was about to run over to her, when Tuvok held her back. 

“Captain.” He pointed to a figure standing at the console, aiming some sort of weapon at them. 

“Who are you?” The man shouted at them. He appeared to be of the same race as the dead bodies that they had encountered before, so Kathryn assumed he was one of the scientists that had been creating Omega. 

“Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager.” She spoke carefully. “We’re here to help.” 

“No!” The man shouted and winced. He was obviously in pain. “You’re here to steal my molecules.” 

Janeway shook her head. “I have no intention of stealing them. Let us help you, tend to your injuries.” 

The man narrowed his eyes. “If you don’t want to steal them, then what do you want? Why were you trying to disable the containment field?” 

“We’re here to destroy the molecules.” Janeway answered truthfully. 

The man’s eyes widened and he backed up against the primary test chamber, spreading his arms as if to protect its precious content. “This is my life’s work. The salvation of my people! The future of our entire race depends on this discovery.” 

“The molecules represent a danger to the entire galaxy.” Janeway spoke, her voice rising. “This small amount has the power to obliterate subspace through half the quadrant.”

“Small minded creatures.” The scientist mumbled angrily. “You want to destroy whatever you don’t understand!” He winced again, doubling over in pain for a moment.   
“Rescue ships are on the way! They won’t let you do it!”

Janeway took a few steps closer, realizing that the man was injured and likely lacking the accuracy to shoot her. She held out her hand. “Let us help you.” She spoke.

The man fell down on the floor, spasms wrecking his body. His weapon fell to the floor and Janeway immediately kicked it away as Tuvok approached, scanning him with his tricorder. Shrill warning sound came from the instrument and Tuvok looked at his Captain, shaking his head. There was nothing they could do for the man. 

Even on his dying breath, the man kept mumbling. “You don’t know what this is, what this means…” 

Janeway sighed. “I’m sorry.” She spoke softly to the man.

Then, certain she had done all there was to do, she got up and ran to B’Elanna. The half-Klingon only seemed to have suffered a head wound and was groaning as she started to come to. 

“What happened?” She mumbled as she reached for her head. 

“One of the scientists was still alive and hit you in the head.” Kathryn spoke, helping the other woman sit up. “Are you okay?” 

“Thank god for my thick Klingon skull huh?” B’Elanna replied only half-joking. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes at the other woman’s attempt at humor as she scanned her.   
“You’ll be alright. It has already stopped bleeding.” She closed her tricorder and got up. “We’ll have the Doctor examine you back on Voyager to be sure. Do you think you can get up?” 

B’Elanna got up without any obvious problem and accessed the console. “I’d just found a way to bypass the containment field when that guy hit me.” She spoke, tapping a few buttons. “Here it is.” She looked at the other woman and nodded. “We’re good to go.”

Kathryn nodded in return squeezed her shoulder lightly. “Good work, Lieutenant.” 

Tuvok approached, closing his tricorder. “He’s dead.” The Security Officer informed her, indicating the scientist. 

Janeway sighed. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.” 

She tapped her combadge. “Janeway to Voyager. We have the transport enhancers in place. Harry, align the transporters with the frequency modulations B’Elanna is sending you. That should allow you to transport Omega out of here. Seven, stand by with the harmonic resonance chamber.” She paused and waited for B’Elanna’s silent confirmation that everything was aligned. 

Monitoring the molecules with his tricorder, Tuvok spoke solemnly. “It’s unfortunate we can’t study this phenomenon in more detail. We may not have the opportunity again.” 

“Let’s hope we never do.” Janeway breathed. 

Tuvok cocked his head. “A curious statement for a woman of science.”

Janeway’s jaw set in a grim look. “I’m also a woman who occasionally knows when to quit.” She spoke. “Take another look at your tricorder. Omega’s too dangerous. I won’t risk half the quadrant to satisfy our curiosity. It’s arrogant and it’s irresponsible.” She shook her head. “The final frontier has some boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed, and we’re looking at one.”

B’Elanna silently signaled her that they were ready. 

“Set the confinement beam to its narrowest dispersion.” Janeway spoke over the comm.   
“Chakotay, target this facility with the gravimetric torpedo. If anything goes wrong during transport, that’ll be our only hope.” 

Chakotay’s reply was not the one she wanted to hear. “We’ve detected two ships on an intercept course.” Her First Officer spoke. “They’re not responding to hails.” 

Kathryn inwardly cursed. Those were probably the rescue ships the scientist had spoken about. “How long till they get here?” She asked.

“Less than an hour, Captain.” Tom Paris answered.

Janeway nodded tersely. That wasn’t a whole lot of time. “Harry, stand by to transport the molecules directly to the harmonic resonance chamber. We’ll have to do this quickly.” 

“That is unadvisable.” Seven also chipped in. 

“We don’t have a choice.” Janeway countered decisively. “The alien ships are on their way.” 

There was a slight pause before Seven answered. “Then I recommend moving the ship within five thousand kilometers of the surface.” 

“That’ll take us right into the atmosphere.” Tom countered. “With our shields down, we won’t withstand the thermal reaction for more than a few seconds.”

Janeway decided instantly. They no longer had the luxury to keep Voyager out of harm’s way. “Then we’ll only get one shot at this. Do it.” 

“All systems ready for transport.” Harry reported.

“Pattern enhancers are active.” Tuvok added.

“We’re eleven thousand kilometers from the surface.” Tom stated edgily. “If we get much closer we’ll incinerate.” 

“We’re losing structural integrity.” Harry backed up Tom’s statement.

“Nine thousand kilometers.” The pilot updated.

“Close enough.” Janeway spoke, not ready to risk losing Voyager altogether. “Energize.” 

“Initiating transport.” Harry spoke tersely.

It took long minutes to transport all the molecules into the chamber, but finally Seven of Nine’s cool voice sounded over the com. “The Omega molecules are stable. Transport was successful.” 

Janeway let out a sigh of relief. “Alright, Voyager, get out of here. We’ll be right behind you.” She nodded to her companions Tuvok ran back into the corridor to collect the transport enhancers while B’Elanna made sure every molecule was indeed gone. 

“Let’s go.” Janeway ordered when both officers reported the ‘all clear’ and the away team made a bee line for the shuttle that would take them back to Voyager.

~

“We’re heading into an area of open space.” Tom reported on Voyager. 

Chakotay accessed his console. “No indications of life or any kind of technology. We can carry out the procedure with no risk to anyone else.” He tapped his combadge. “Seven, begin the neutralization of the molecules.” 

He turned to Tom. “How far away are those ships?” 

“They’re right on our tail.” The pilot replied.

“And the away team?” Chakotay asked.

“They’ve cleared the surface.” Harry spoke. “They’re twenty minutes behind us.” 

“How soon can we clear the subspace ruptures and go to warp?” Chakotay demanded.

Tom pursed his lips. “Ten, maybe fifteen minutes. But those ships will catch up to us before then.” 

“Well, we have Omega. They won’t risk firing at us.” The First Officer spoke. “At least not until they run out of options.” 

“Commander, they’re closing on us.” Tom reported.

The ship jolted briefly. “They’re attempting to stop us with a tractor beam.” Harry added.

“Adjust shields to compensate.” Chakotay ordered.

“They’re hailing us.” Harry replied.

“On screen.”

The screen filled with the image of a not so happy alien. “Disengage your engines and prepare to be boarded.” 

Chakotay shook his head. “I can’t do that.” 

“You’ve stolen our technology.” The alien continued.

“Your technology is a threat to this entire galaxy. We have no intention of keeping your molecules. We just want to neutralize them and we’ll be on our way.” Chakotay spoke.

“Return our technology. Now!” The alien snapped angrily. 

“I’m sorry.” Chakotay replied firmly. “That’s not possible.” 

Harry’s console beeped. “They’re charging weapons.” 

The Bridge crew waited for the impact of enemy fire but it didn’t come. 

“They’ve… turned about.” Tom stated with a frown. “They’re headed to… the shuttle!” 

“Follow them!” Chakotay barked. “Voyager to away team. You’ve got enemy ships inbound. We’ll try to draw their fire away from you.” 

“Negative Chakotay.” Came Janeway’s response. “Don’t do anything that might cause Omega to destabilize. How many of the molecules have been neutralized so far?” 

“Eleven percent.” Seven’s voice sounded over the comm. 

Janeway inwardly cursed. At this rate, it would take hours. “Keep going.” She ordered. 

The shuttle shook. “They’re attempting to lock onto our shuttle with a tractor beam.” Tuvok stated. “Compensating.” 

“Deflector output is at maximum.” Torres informed him. “It’s not enough to disengage it.” 

“We’re being pulled toward them.” Tuvok spoke.

“Target their emitter and fire.” Janeway ordered.

Tuvok did as requested. “No effect.” He frowned as his console beeped. “The other ship’s weapons are charged at aimed directly at us.”

“They’re holding us at gunpoint.” Janeway spoke. “They’re probably hailing Voyager right now to trade us for the molecules.” 

She looked at B’Elanna and knew they were both thinking the same thing. Chakotay would destroy the molecules above all else. Moving closer to the other woman, Kathryn placed her hand on the half-Klingon’s shoulder. If these were their final moments, she wanted to be close to her. “Target their engines and fire.” She spoke to Tuvok. They wouldn’t go down without a fight. At the very least, they could cripple the enemy. 

“Severe damage to their port nacelle.” Tuvok reported. Immediately they were hit by return fire. “Shield strength down to eight percent.” Tuvok spoke, his voice holding the implied warning that they best not try anything like that again. 

“Chakotay has jettisoned the chamber.” B’Elanna exclaimed suddenly, not quite believing what she saw. 

Then things happened quickly. The enemy ships disengaged their tractor beam and instead focused on the Omega molecules. B’Elanna noticed on her sensors that Voyager was turning away from them and high tailing it out of the area. Then she noticed the warhead heading straight for the harmonic resonance chamber and she cursed. “Holy-”

Right at the moment she thought they were going to die in the explosion, she felt the familiar tingle of a transport in progress and Voyager’s Transporter Room materialized around her.   
   
~PART TEN~

“Report.” Janeway barked as she, B’Elanna and Tuvok entered the Bridge. 

“All of Omega has been destroyed.” Chakotay spoke and Janeway’s shoulders sagged in relief. 

“Seven calculated that the gravimetric charge would be enough to take care of the remaining molecules.” Chakotay continued. “So we jettisoned the chamber, lit the match and ran like hell.” 

Janeway threw him an assessing look. “That’s one hell of a risk you took there.” She paused. “Thank you.” 

The man just smiled, effectively ignoring the fact that he hadn’t been sure at all that the plan would work. 

Janeway’s eyes fell on the gash on B’Elanna’s head. “You should get that looked at by the Doctor.” She spoke. 

“I’m fine.” B’Elanna said dismissively. 

“Don’t make me drag you there.” Janeway replied sternly and just barely caught the twinkle in B’Elanna’s eyes that said: please do. 

Rolling her eyes, Janeway playfully grabbed B’Elanna’s arm and guided her to the turbolift. “Come on.” 

When the doors closed behind them, B’Elanna cocked her head. “What is the Bridge Crew going to think when you drag me into the turbolift like that?” She asked playfully, but also a bit serious. They hadn’t really discussed their public appearance. B’Elanna didn’t want to hide their relationship, but she doubted Kathryn felt the need to flaunt it, especially given their ranks. 

Kathryn stepped closer and threw the other woman a teasing look. “Do you care right now?” She teased. She felt a little lightheaded and couldn’t wait to get to her quarters and unwind. “I would kiss you right here, right now, but you look positively filthy.” 

B’Elanna’s eyebrow rose. It was quite obvious that the burden of the past few days had been lifted from her lover’s shoulders. “Taken a look at yourself lately?” 

Kathryn grinned. “How about when you’re cleared by the Doctor, we have a nice long hot soak in my bathtub together?” Her muscles ached and the soothing warmth of the water was exactly what she needed.

“It’s a date.” B’Elanna answered throatily. 

As the turbolift slowed down, Janeway stepped back again, maintaining a respectable distance as they made their way to Sickbay. 

~

“It’s only a superficial wound.” The Doctor spoke, efficiently repairing the damage. “That thick Klingon skull of yours comes in handy at times like this.” He added dryly. 

B’Elanna turned at the Captain and smirked. “Told you.” 

But Kathryn only frowned. She reached out and grabbed hold of a nearby cart as she suddenly doubled over and vomited violently. 

Immediately the Doctor was standing beside her. “Captain!”

Janeway just groaned, her face suddenly ashen. 

B’Elanna grabbed her and put her on the nearest biobed while the Doctor scanned her.

“Acute radiation sickness.” He stated, turning around to prepare a hypospray. After he administered it, Janeway seemed to relax somewhat. “That should stabilize her for the time being.” 

After reassuring himself that she was indeed stable, the Doctor turned his tricorder to B’Elanna. 

“You’re fine.” 

“I was exposed to the same things she was.” B’Elanna said, confused. 

“Klingons, and I suspect Vulcans, are not as frail as mere humans.” The Doctor answered. “Even with an arithrazine inoculation, there’s only so much a human body can take.” He brushed past the lieutenant to access a console. “I will need to perform cell therapy to restore proper cell function.”

A lump formed in B’Elanna’s throat. “Will she live?” 

The Doctor didn’t take the time to look at her. “She will. But the sooner I start, the better.”

B’Elanna nodded dumbfounded and stepped back, her gaze still fixed on the Captain.   
“Let me know when she’s awake?” She asked. 

The Doctor paused his preparations to put a hand on her arm, finally recognizing her emotional involvement. “I will.” 

~

“Sickbay to Lieutenant Torres.”   
B’Elanna jerked awake. Despite her worry about Kathryn and her firm belief she was too wound up to sleep, she had lost the battle with fatigue after all, and fallen asleep on her couch. 

“Torres here.” She croaked, rubbing her face. 

“The Captain is about to wake up.” The Doctor spoke over the comm.

B’Elanna scraped her throat. “Thank you, Doctor, I’ll be right there.”   
Straightening her uniform, she ran out the door.

As she entered Sickbay, she sought out the Captain’s form, but her lover still seemed to be unconscious. B’Elanna turned to the Doctor as he came out of his office, followed by Chakotay who had arrived only moments before her. 

The First Officer had also been contacted as was traditionally the case when the Captain was incapacitated. He looked at B’Elanna and frowned, wondering why she was there.   
“Are you feeling sick too?” 

B’Elanna shook her head. “No I’m fine.” She looked at the Captain. “Is she alright?”   
The Doctor nodded. “I had to replace her intestinal epithelium almost completely. But she’ll be fine.” He spoke, proud of his accomplishment. “She’ll need another week at least to rest and recover.”

“No problem.” Chakotay spoke. “I’ll take over on the Bridge. She can take all the time she needs.” 

“Will she have to stay here?” B’Elanna asked.

“I’d like to keep her overnight for observation, but after that I think she’ll be more comfortable in her quarters.” The Doctor said. “Of course I’ll need to see her daily for further treatment.” 

B’Elanna turned to Chakotay. “I’d like to take the week off to help the Captain out.” 

The Commander shook his head. “Can’t do that B’Elanna. We need you in Engineering to repair the damage the impulse reactor sustained in the attack.” 

“Come on, Chakotay.” B’Elanna replied. “My crew can handle that without me.”   
The big man frowned. “That may be the case, but your expertise is of more use in Engineering than by playing the Captain’s wet nurse.” He turned to the Doctor. “If the Captain needs permanent care, I’m sure we have alternative options.” 

“That won’t be necessary, Commander.” The Doctor answered. “I can keep an eye on the Captain’s vital signs with a cortical monitor.”

B’Elanna felt her frustration rise. Since she and Kathryn hadn’t discussed anything about their relationship being made public, she didn’t want to share with her fellow former Maquis just why she wanted to stay by her Captain’s side. Yet she realized that as Chief Engineer, her request just seemed rather odd. “But I-” 

“B’Elanna…” 

The Captain’s weak voice interrupted her and the half-Klingon hurried to her side, followed closely by Chakotay and the Doctor. She grabbed Kathryn’s hand and lightly squeezed it. Chakotay put his hand on Janeway’s shoulder and did the same. B’Elanna felt like he intruded their privacy and tried to remind herself he didn’t know he was doing it. 

“You’re doing great, Captain.” The Doctor smiled, satisfied with the readings on the monitor. 

Janeway swallowed. “I don’t feel so great though.” Her voice sounded raspy as she spoke.

“That’s often the case with radiation poisoning.” The Doctor nodded. “But the feeling of nausea should lessen in a couple of hours. I’d like to keep you here until tomorrow morning for observation.” He added. “After that, you’ll be off duty for at least a week so I can continue your treatments and you get enough rest in between.” 

“I’ll hold the fort for you.” Chakotay spoke reassuringly. 

Kathryn mumbled something unintelligible and looked at B’Elanna with unfocused eyes. 

The half-Klingon softly stroked her cheek. “It’s alright, sleep some more.” She whispered, noticing correctly how her lover was struggling to remain awake.

“Yes, the Captain needs to rest now.” The Doctor added to that. “Lieutenant, Commander, you can both come back later.” 

Before B’Elanna could go, Kathryn gathered her strength and pulled the other woman closer to her, a gesture that was not lost on Chakotay. 

B’Elanna softly stroked her lover’s hair. “I’ll be back tomorrow, alright?” 

Kathryn nodded sleepily and B’Elanna turned to the door where Chakotay was waiting for her. 

As they walked through the corridor, the man finally spoke.   
“So when did this happen?” 

B’Elanna tried to keep a neutral face. “Did what happen?” She asked coyly. 

Chakotay shook his head as he smiled.   
“Playing innocent doesn’t really become you, B’Elanna.” He turned to look at her. “I knew you two were close, but I didn’t know you were that close. In fact,” he squinted lightly, “I seem to remember more than one situation in which you were butting heads with each other recently.”

B’Elanna threw him a lopsided smile and shrugged lightly. “Sometimes a person can get under your skin in more than one way.” She spoke softly. 

The fact that Chakotay harbored feelings for the Captain that went further than was strictly professional was something of a public secret. She hoped that because she got the girl, it wouldn’t harm their friendship. 

Chakotay thought about that for a moment and then nodded. “I guess that’s true.” 

He remained silent for some more time and B’Elanna was starting to wonder if this piece of information had broken something between them. Finally the other man spoke again. 

“I would never have considered you two together but when I think about it, you could be good for each other.” He said genuinely.

B’Elanna’s smile brightened, both because of his assessment, but also because he didn’t seem to harbor any bad feelings about their relationship. 

“I can’t give you the whole week off, Lieutenant.” Chakotay spoke. “But you can work flexible hours, as long as you get the work done.” 

B’Elanna nodded. “Thanks, Chakotay.” 

~

Kathryn Janeway was sitting up on the biobed and looked a whole lot better when B’Elanna entered Sickbay the next day to pick her up. 

“How are you feeling?” The half-Klingon asked her lover. 

“Ready to get out of here.” Kathryn sighed. 

The Doctor approached them. “Well that certainly won’t be due to any lack of hospitality on my part.” He replied dryly. “I expect you back here every day so I can assess the viability of the cell lines I’ve replaced.” 

Kathryn nodded and hopped off the biobed. The sudden movement made her somewhat dizzy and she grabbed the bed for support as B’Elanna reached out to hold her at the same time. 

The Doctor lightly shook his head. “I was going to advise you to take it easy for the time being. Your body has been under quite some stress and you’ll need to give it time to heal. So no strenuous activities of any kind.” He threw a pointed look at both women as he spoke. 

“Anything else?” Janeway grumbled, getting increasingly annoyed. 

The Doctor nodded. “Since the damage to the cell lining of your gastro-intestinal tract was quite severe, I’d like you to watch what you eat.” He handed her the PADD he’d been holding and both women studied it. “I’ve made a list. Keep away from spicy foods, alcohol, coffee…” 

Two heads snapped up in horror at the last part. 

“No coffee?” Janeway gasped. 

“You’ll survive.” The Doctor replied. “I recommend chamomile tea, not too hot of course.” 

“Chamomile tea?” Janeway echoed, as if she couldn’t believe he was seriously contemplating she’d drink such a thing. 

The Doctor nodded affirmatively. “Take care of your body and you’ll be good as new in no time.” He smiled cheerfully. “See you tomorrow!” 

Both women exited Sickbay and headed for the turbolift. When it arrived, they stepped inside and B’Elanna ordered it to Deck Two. Kathryn seemed very quiet and B’Elanna wondered if something was wrong.

“I can’t believe he took away my coffee.” Kathryn mumbled to no one in particular and B’Elanna bit her lip trying not to laugh. 

She lightly put her arm around the other woman. “I’ll help take your mind off it.” She spoke lightly. “In fact, didn’t you say something about the two of us taking a nice warm bath before all this happened?” 

Kathryn’s eyes lit up. “Oh I totally forgot. Yes, that would be wonderful.” She spoke happily, her spirits lifting at the prospect. 

The turbolift arrived at Deck Two and B’Elanna let her arm fall back to her side before they exited and walked the short way through the corridor to the Captain’s quarters. 

Once inside, Janeway immediately walked to the bathroom to order the tub filled with warm water. B’Elanna followed her and watched her lover prepare the bath. Kathryn Janeway was by no means a woman of many luxuries, but when it came to her bath, she indulged. She had acquired quite a collection of bath salts, scented oils, soaps and sponges over the years, none of them replicated. 

Kathryn selected a light flowery scent and added it to the rising water. Then she turned around to B’Elanna and stretched out her hand. The half-Klingon stepped closer to her until their bodies touched. Kathryn leaned into her lover and sighed contentedly as B’Elanna gently wrapped her arms around her and inhaled her scent. 

Due to the Omega incident, they hadn’t spent much quality time together, and it already felt like it had been ages since they had merely touched each other. Kathryn wondered how she had survived for all those years without that simple human contact.

Reaching up, she opened the zipper of B’Elanna’s uniform jacket, gently peeling it off her. Wordlessly, B’Elanna took over and both women quickly undressed themselves until all of their clothes were piled on the floor. 

B’Elanna’s eyes lingered on the other woman’s form, and she felt a twinge of desire. Yet she knew her lover’s body would not be up yet for the activity she had in mind, so she willed herself to drop the idea and try to simply enjoy the bath. 

The water was pleasantly warm as they submerged their bodies in it. B’Elanna got comfortable against the wall of the tub, holding Kathryn in her arms. 

The older woman hummed in appreciation. “This is almost as good as coffee.” 

B’Elanna smiled as she nuzzled her lover’s hair. “Forget about the coffee.” 

“I don’t think that’s poss- oh!” Kathryn started to say, but she forgot all about it when B’Elanna softly nibbled on her right earlobe and she felt her body respond.

Try as she might, B’Elanna couldn’t resist letting her hands slide over her lover’s body and cupping her breasts. The answering purr only served to urge her on. 

Kathryn angled her head and found B’Elanna’s eager lips waiting to kiss her thoroughly. She grabbed one of B’Elanna’s hands and firmly placed it between her thighs, moaning as it made contact. 

“Sickbay to Janeway.” The Doctor’s voice interrupted them crudely. “Captain, I distinctly remember telling you to take it easy, yet your vital signs are telling me you’re clearly not following my instructions.” 

Janeway’s hand flew to the cortical monitor she’d forgotten she was wearing behind her left ear. “I’m sorry Doctor. You’re right.” She replied guiltily.

“I’m only looking out for your wellbeing Captain. So should you.” The Doctor replied. 

“Absolutely. I promise I’ll take it easy.” Kathryn spoke convincingly, wondering how much he could puzzle together from the data of the cortical monitor. 

“Very good. I will see you tomorrow in Sickbay for a check-up.” The Doctor concluded and the comm channel was closed. 

Kathryn leaned back against B’Elanna and sighed. “Sorry.” 

B’Elanna lightly kissed her hair. “My fault. I should know better than to blindly follow my Klingon urges.” 

“I like your Klingon urges.” Kathryn purred. 

The half-Klingon willed herself to disregard the sultry tone of her lover’s voice. Instead she snorted, thinking of the irony of the statement. “That’s not what you said months ago when you ordered me to get anger management training.” 

“Well, back then I didn’t know your urges could be so good to me.” Kathryn grinned playfully. Then she half turned around as if she suddenly thought of something. “Maybe if I promise to behave, the Doctor will remove the monitor tomorrow.” 

B’Elanna eyed her lover skeptically. “Right.” 

Kathryn squinted at the other woman. “I can be very persuasive.” 

“No doubt about that.” B’Elanna grinned. “I’d love to see you try to get the Doctor to remove that monitor though.” 

Kathryn settled back against her lover. “Are you coming with me to Sickbay tomorrow?”   
B’Elanna shrugged. “I’ll try. Chakotay gave me some leeway with my duty hours so I could be there for you, on condition that I still get everything done in Engineering.” 

“I take it that he found out about us?” Kathryn asked.

B’Elanna nodded. “He kind of figured it out in Sickbay and asked me flat out after we’d left.” 

Kathryn remained silent for a minute. “What did he say?” She asked after a beat.

“He didn’t really see it coming, but he seemed okay with it.” B’Elanna answered. “He said we could be good for each other.” 

Kathryn released a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. The opinion of her First Officer and trusted friend mattered a lot to her. “I’m glad he approves.” 

“Me too.” B’Elanna agreed. She bit her lip and then asked the question that had been on her mind for a while now. “What do you think the rest of the Crew will say?”   
Considering their ranks, and the fact that their relationship was technically a breach of protocol, it was a valid question. 

Shrugging, Kathryn sighed. “I don’t know. To be honest I’m not very keen on having my personal life on display for everyone to see.” 

“Do you think we’ll be able to keep this under wraps? Chakotay noticed, the Doctor knows… It’s only a matter of time before it gets out.” B’Elanna noted, at the same time wondering if it was really necessary to hide their feelings for the rest of the crew.

“Tuvok has a pretty good idea as well.” Kathryn added. “Still, I’d prefer to keep this between us as much as we can. At least for now.” She half-turned to B’Elanna. “What do you think?” 

The half-Klingon shrugged. “I don’t think anyone really expects you to follow protocol to the letter here and stay celibate for the rest of your life just because we got stuck in the Delta Quadrant.” She pursed her lips. “We can keep this to ourselves for a while if that’s what you prefer.” She added a bit reluctantly.

“Good, I think I’m not ready yet to publicly breach protocol.” Kathryn spoke as she grabbed a sponge and submerged it into the water, unaware of B’Elanna’s disappointment with that answer.  
   
~PART ELEVEN~

Two days later, B’Elanna entered Kathryn’s quarters after work. Due to a malfunction in the EPS system, she had spent the last two days in Engineering and hadn’t seen her lover during that time. Kathryn was still on medical leave, and even though her condition was improving rapidly, she was still under strict orders to take it easy. The Doctor hadn’t yet given his fiat to remove the cortical monitor she was wearing.

Kathryn was sitting on the couch, reading a PADD. As B’Elanna entered, a bright smile appeared on her face.   
“There you are.” 

They kissed lightly, but Kathryn pulled back. “Everything okay now with the EPS system?” She asked, never able to forget she was the Captain of a starship.

“Mhmm.” B’Elanna answered before kissing her again. “What did the Doctor say today?”   
Kathryn pursed her lips. “I can go back on light duty tomorrow.” When her lover smiled, she elaborated. “But I still have to wear the cortical monitor for a while.”

B’Elanna sighed. “Not for too much longer I hope.” 

“Better not.” Kathryn smiled, snuggling closer to the other woman.

B’Elanna’s combadge chirped.   
“Kim to Torres.”

“Yes Harry?” B’Elanna answered.

“You said you would go hydrosailing with us this evening. Did you forget?” 

“Oh, right. I did forget.” B’Elanna answered, looking at her lover mouthing the word ‘go’. “But you know what Harry, I’m just going to take it easy tonight.” 

“Are you sure?” Harry pressed. “You’ve been stuck between EPS conduits for two days. Plus you promised to teach me that sideways flip.” 

Kathryn gestured at her that she didn’t mind, but B’Elanna shook her head. “Another time, okay Harry? I promise.” 

“Alright.” The young man spoke dejectedly. “Kim out.” 

Kathryn looked at her. “You don’t have to ditch your friends on account of me.” She spoke. 

“I’m too tired to go hydrosailing tonight. I’d rather spend some time with you.” B’Elanna replied, lightly caressing the other woman’s face. 

Kathryn smiled. “That’s sweet, but it might raise suspicion if you stop spending time with your friends.”

B’Elanna sat back as a thought occurred to her. “If you want to be alone tonight, just say so.” She spoke irritably. 

Shaking her head, Kathryn gathered the other woman back in her arms. “I want you here, with me.” She nuzzled B’Elanna’s neck. “But I’m not ready for the whole ship to know that.”

B’Elanna was too tired from her recent stint in Engineering to argue. So she leaned back in her lover’s comfortable embrace. “Okay.”

~

B’Elanna Torres turned around as the doors to Engineering opened. Tom Paris entered and made his way to Seven of Nine.

“Hey Tom.” B’Elanna approached him. “Do you know at what time the briefing for our survey mission is starting?” For some reason she hadn’t seen it on her schedule. 

Tom frowned and glanced at Seven before he looked at her. “Uh, that was an hour ago. But I thought you weren’t going?” 

Now it was B’Elanna’s turn to frown. “Why wouldn’t I be going?” 

Tom accessed the PADD he was holding. “You were replaced with Seven.” He spoke, indicating the PADD. “See, it says so right here.” 

“Replaced?” B’Elanna spoke, feeling her irritation levels rise. “Why?” She looked at the PADD and clenched her jaw as she saw who had ordered the change. “We’ll see about that.” She spoke through gritted teeth. 

“Hey.” Tom yelled after her. “Don’t forget my barbecue on Holodeck One tomorrow evening.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” B’Elanna answered curtly, her mind already occupied with the upcoming conversation with her lover as she stalked out of Engineering.

Just because they were now involved didn’t mean B’Elanna would just roll over and do whatever Kathryn decided. She’d been looking forward to this mission, especially now that the problems with the EPS system were solved. The fact that she was replaced by Seven also pissed her off, because that made it seem like the Borg was better qualified to do the job than she was.

The half-Klingon stomped out of the turbolift, crossed the bridge and pressed the door chime. Luckily Kathryn answered almost immediately.

B’Elanna contained herself long enough for the Ready Room doors to close properly before she addressed her lover angrily. “Why did you take me off the survey mission?”

Kathryn didn’t answer, but instead got up from her chair and rounded her desk, well aware of the infuriated state her lover was in. “I asked Chakotay to take Seven instead of you.”

B’Elanna shook her head. “Why her? Do you honestly think she’s more competent than me? I can perform an astronomical survey just as well as she can.” 

“I have no doubt about that.” Janeway interrupted the other woman. “But there is something on Voyager that requires your personal attention.” 

“Like what?” B’Elanna spat, wondering what Janeway would come up with since she couldn’t think of anything.

“The Captain.” Janeway deadpanned.

A confused look appeared on B’Elanna’s face. “What do you…?” But then she noticed how Janeway was pulling away her hair and showing her neck. “Oh.” B’Elanna swallowed. “You’re no longer wearing the cortical monitor.” 

“Exactly.” Janeway replied throatily. “I thought you might prefer an evening with me instead of being cooped up in a shuttle with the Doctor, Tom and Chakotay for – oh!” 

She stopped abruptly as B’Elanna pressed her against her desk and started kissing the spot on her neck where the cortical monitor had been. Involuntarily she moaned at the contact and her body responded, but she drew back. “Not here.” She breathed. “Not now.” 

All the previous fury B’Elanna had felt was now replaced with desire and she had difficulty regaining control so she didn’t move. 

“B’Elanna, please.” Kathryn urged. “I have a meeting with Chakotay in two minutes before he leads the away mission.” She grabbed the other woman by the shoulders. “Don’t make me go through that all worked up.” 

Biting her lip, B’Elanna stepped back. “Sorry.” 

Looking her lover intensely in the eyes, Kathryn spoke. “We’ll do this properly tonight after work.” 

“Okay.” B’Elanna nodded. “My quarters. Don’t be late.” 

“Nothing in the universe could keep me.” Kathryn replied, straightening her jacket.   
“Now go.” She spoke gently and placed a kiss on the half-Klingon’s ridged forehead. “And send in Chakotay so I can get this duty shift over with.” She added playfully as B’Elanna made her way to the door.

“See you tonight.” B’Elanna smiled right before the door to the Bridge opened. Then she stepped outside and made her way over to Chakotay. “The Captain asked for you.” 

The big man nodded in acknowledgement as he rose from his seat and made his way to the Captain’s Ready Room.

“B’Elanna said you’re ready for our meeting?” He spoke as he entered. 

Janeway took a breath. “Ready.” She nodded.

“Is B’Elanna okay?” The Indian asked, indicating the direction she’d gone with his head. “She seemed upset when she walked in here.” 

“She’s fine.” Janeway spoke, feeling a bit self-conscious. B’Elanna had told her about a week ago that her first officer was aware of their relationship and that he seemed okay with it, but she hadn’t spoken to him directly about it and was unsure on how to broach the subject.

“She’s a handful sometimes.” Chakotay chuckled. “But you probably know that better than I do these days.” 

He winked and Kathryn smiled as relief replaced her previous reservations. 

“That’s true.” She grinned. 

Chakotay placed a hand on her upper arm. “I’m really happy you two found each other.” He spoke. “Surprised, but happy.” 

“That means a lot.” Kathryn spoke appreciatively. “But I trust this will stay between us for now?” 

“Of course.” Chakotay nodded.

“Alright.” Janeway straightened her shoulders. “Now that that’s settled, why don’t you brief me on what happened on the ship during the last week.” She indicated for him to sit down. “You want some coffee?” She held up a big coffee pot. “I finally got the ‘all clear’ to continue with my addiction, so I’m ordering this stuff by the gallon now.”

~

After her duty shift, Kathryn hurried to her Chief Engineer’s quarters, eager to see her lover without the Doctor acting as a chaperone through the cortical monitor. Before she could press the chime, the sensors registered her presence and the door opened automatically. Inside, the lights were on but pleasantly dimmed and a few candles were lit throughout the room. 

“There you are.” Came B’Elanna’s husky voice from the far end of the room. 

Kathryn looked at her lover as she approached and gave the other woman an appreciative look. B’Elanna was wearing a short robe, which revealed her shapely legs and accentuated her curves while still leaving plenty to the imagination. 

“I see you already slipped into something more comfortable.” Kathryn commented, as she took off her uniform jacket. 

“Mhmm.” B’Elanna answered as she made her way over to her lover and kissed her. “Maybe you should do the same.” 

Kathryn grinned as she took off her shoes. “I didn’t exactly bring a change of clothes.” 

B’Elanna eyed the other woman mischievously. “I’m not complaining…” She took the other woman by the hands and led her further into the room. “But first, when was the last time you ate? The Doctor said you need to eat at regular intervals for your gastrointestinal system to heal properly.” 

Kathryn spun her lover around. “Seriously?” She asked with one raised eyebrow. “You’re thinking about food right now?” 

She stepped closer to the other woman, their faces only inches from each other. “The only thing I want to devour is you.” 

B’Elanna’s eyebrow rose. “Oh yeah?” 

Kathryn gently took her lover’s lower lip between her teeth and released it. “I’d like a piece of this.” She spoke and then she nipped her neck. “And this.” She whispered and lightly bit B’Elanna’s earlobe. “And this.” 

B’Elanna shuddered. “I get the point. But don’t stop.” 

“Lie down.” Kathryn spoke seductively, gently pushing her lover down on the couch. She hovered over her as she untied the sash of B’Elanna’s robe, exposing her trim body.   
With her teeth, Kathryn left a trail of little bites from her neck until she reached her lover’s breasts. 

B’Elanna’s nipples were already hard as pebbles and Kathryn teased her lover by slowly tracing the aureole with her tongue first. The half-Klingon moaned as the other woman touched her nipple after all, and thoroughly lavished it with attention. 

Then she made her way down and B’Elanna gasped as Kathryn’s tongue made contact with her sensitive flesh. Biting her lip, she let the sensations wash over her as Kathryn expertly touched her and brought her to a first orgasm quite quickly. 

As B’Elanna came down from her high, Kathryn moved to lie on top of her lover and nuzzled her neck affectionately. “Best I’ve tasted all day.” She smirked. 

“Mhmm.” B’Elanna moaned. “Does that include coffee?” 

Kathryn thought for a moment. “Okay, second best.” She grinned. 

B’Elanna rolled her eyes affectionately. “Alright, I know my place. But can coffee make you feel like this?” She thoroughly kissed her lover and as Kathryn started moving against her, she placed her leg between the other woman’s thighs to increase the contact. B’Elanna’s hands roamed under Kathryn’s uniform pants and kneaded her firm buttocks.

“Maybe you should get out of those-” B’Elanna stopped mid-sentence as she felt a tremor go through the ship. Kathryn noticed it too, and before either of them could say anything the alarm started blaring.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!” Kathryn groaned as Harry Kim’s voice sounded over the comm system. 

“Red alert. Senior Officers to the Bridge.” 

Cursing, Kathryn sat up and rearranged her clothes. “Great timing.” She muttered, quickly getting up to find her shoes. 

B’Elanna had also gotten up and collected her uniform from the bedroom. She was half-way in her pants when Kathryn was ready. “Go. I’ll catch up.” 

Kathryn nodded as she exited B’Elanna’s quarters and made for the nearest turbolift.   
The ride to the Bridge was only short, and Kathryn was still feeling the effects of B’Elanna’s touch as the turbolift arrived. 

“Report.” She barked as she stepped on the Bridge. 

“The proto-nebula is expanding more rapidly than expected. We’ve received a distress call from the away team.” Harry announced as he took his station at OPS. “I’m reading plasma surges all over the place.” 

Janeway nodded to the helm. “Back us off.” 

She turned to Tuvok who’d also just arrived. “The shuttle?” She asked the Vulcan as she noticed B’Elanna stepping out of the turbolift and taking the Engineering station.

“It’s engulfed in the shear line of the nebula.” He informed her.

Janeway addressed B’Elanna. “Can you beam the away team out?” 

B’Elanna manipulated the transport controls but half-shook her head. “I only have a partial lock.” She spoke. “They need to clear the nebula.”

Tuvok shook his head. “Their propulsion is down. They can’t break free.”

“Then it’s going to be a rough transport.” B’Elanna answered tersely, focused on the job. 

Janeway nodded, understanding the danger. “Energize.”

B’Elanna initiated the transport but cursed as her console beeped. “I’m having trouble separating their patterns.” Her fingers moved over the controls. “Resetting the buffers.” 

She frowned. “The Doctor’s program is destabilizing, I’m transferring him directly to Sickbay. Chakotay, Tom and Seven are in Transporter Room One.” 

“Janeway to Transporter Room One. Everyone alright down there?” The Captain asked.   
“We’re fine Captain.” Chakotay answered. “But I think the Doctor might be damaged. We only have his emitter.” 

“I transferred him to Sickbay.” B’Elanna spoke. 

Seven’s voice sounded over the comm as she studied the device. “It looks like some of the emitter circuits were fused during transport.”

B’Elanna sighed. “Seven, could you take his emitter to the Science Lab and start diagnostic routine alpha three six?” 

The Borg’s affirmation was lost in the voice of the Doctor. “Doctor to Bridge. What happened? I can’t find my mobile emitter.” 

“Calm down Doctor.” Janeway responded. “Seven has it. Apparently your emitter was damaged during transport.” 

“Damaged?” The Doctor’s voice rose. “Can it be repaired?” 

“Most likely.” B’Elanna chipped in. “I’ll need to run a diagnostic first.” 

“Most likely?” The Doctor echoed worriedly. “How long will it take?”

B’Elanna shrugged. “The diagnostic should be done by tomorrow morning.” She spoke and casually threw the Captain a pointed look, indicating there was nothing she could do until then. “I’ll check the results then and keep you posted. Torres out.” 

“Alright.” Janeway concluded, suddenly eager to finish things up. “Now that that’s all settled… Mister Kim, you have the Bridge for the rest of the night. Keep a safe distance between us and that nebula, and try to obtain as much sensor data from afar as you can.” 

She entered the turbolift, and Tuvok and B’Elanna followed her. 

When they exited, both women bided Tuvok goodnight and Janeway followed her Chief Engineer to her quarters in unspoken agreement.

B’Elanna grinned as she noticed the look on her lover’s face. It was clear that Kathryn’s arousal had not dissipated since they’d been disturbed and she seemed determined to continue right where they had left off.

As they stepped inside B’Elanna’s quarters, Kathryn pressed her lover against the door and started kissing her hungrily. 

“You’re more than ready now, aren’t you?” B’Elanna spoke hotly between two kisses as she opened Kathryn’s uniform jacket. 

“Yes.” Kathryn breathed. “So ready.” 

B’Elanna pulled back and looked into her lover’s smoldering eyes. “Then maybe I should take my sweet time with you.” She spoke huskily. 

~

Early the next morning, the monitor of the portable console next to B’Elanna’s bed activated. 

“Rise and shine, Lieutenant. It’s 06h00. Early bird gets the gagh!” The Doctor’s chipper image spoke. 

B’Elanna groaned. “What do you want?” 

“Good morning would be nice. But I’ll settle for my mobile emitter.” The Doctor replied. “Do we have an ETA on those repairs?”

“Go away.” B’Elanna growled, burying her head in the pillow. After spending most of the night making love to Kathryn, she’d only been asleep for a short while. 

“Can’t you at least give me a prognosis?” The Doctor asked worriedly. 

“I’m sleeping!” B’Elanna answered in an annoyed voice. 

Just then, Kathryn popped up her head, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“Captain.” The EMH spoke suddenly seeming a bit less comfortable. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were…” He broke off his sentence, not knowing how to finish it.

Janeway’s eyebrow rose. “Mind telling me exactly why you’re watching us?” 

“I’m not. I’m a Doctor, not a peeping Tom!” The Doctor replied indignantly. “Besides, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” He added smugly. 

Janeway glared at him, and even though he was three decks down, the Doctor cowered.   
“I’m simply asking Lieutenant Torres about my mobile emitter.” He explained.

“At 06h00 in the morning?” Janeway spoke irritated. 

“You don’t understand! My freedom is at stake.” The Doctor responded agitatedly. 

“Oh for god’s sake.” B’Elanna spat as she turned around in bed. “Computer, how much longer until diagnostic routine alpha three six in the Science Lab is finished?”

“Approximately one hour forty-six minutes.” The Computer answered.

“There.” B’Elanna grumbled. “I’ll go check on the results then. Alright?” 

“If you bring the emitter to Sickbay, maybe we can work on it together.” The Doctor added. “I’ve prepared a-” 

The rest of the transmission was cut off as B’Elanna reached out and closed the channel. With a sigh, she leaned back against the pillow. “Well, I guess I know how I’ll be spending my day off.” She muttered. 

Kathryn put her arm over her lover and snuggled closer. “Now that we’re awake, you want to have breakfast together?” 

~

“So what are you doing this evening?” Kathryn asked her lover as she sipped from her coffee at the breakfast table. 

“Nothing special.” B’Elanna answered with a grin. “Why? Have anything in mind?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Then she frowned. “Wait, today is the 16th right?”

Kathryn nodded. “Yes, why?” 

“Tom’s having a small barbecue on the Holodeck, you know, just a couple of friends.” B’Elanna said, giving her lover an apologetic look. “I promised him ages ago I’d be there.” 

“Oh, okay.” Kathryn replied evenly. “I already told you I think you should spend more time with your friends.”

B’Elanna placed her hand on her lover’s thigh. “Why don’t you come with me, as my date?” 

Kathryn shook her head. “We’ve talked about this, B’Elanna. And we decided to keep the fact that we have a relationship between us for now.” 

“We decided or you decided?” B’Elanna asked, withdrawing her hand. 

“What do you mean?” Kathryn countered. “You agreed on that.” 

B’Elanna sighed. “I went along with it, because it was what you wanted. It doesn’t mean I feel the same way.” 

“What, you’d prefer to make a shipwide announcement about the fact that you’re fornicating with the Captain?” Kathryn asked indignantly.

“Of course not. Don’t be absurd.” B’Elanna replied annoyed. “I just think it would be easier to get this all out in the open.” 

“I disagree.” Kathryn argued. “I’m the Captain of this ship and people need to see me as such.” She leaned forward in her chair to make her point. “I need to keep my personal life private. It’s nobody’s business but my own.” 

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “No, it’s OUR business now. Yours AND mine. Just because you’re the Captain of this ship, doesn’t mean you get to call the shots in this relationship as well.” 

At Kathryn’s hurt look, B’Elanna sighed and grabbed her lover’s hand. “That one was uncalled for. I’m sorry.” 

Kathryn looked at the other woman and gently squeezed her hand. “No, you’re right. It’s your business too now.” She spoke softly.

B’Elanna sighed again. “The fact is we can’t keep this under wraps forever, even if we wanted to.” She shrugged. “So far, Chakotay, Tuvok and the Doctor know already. And more people are going to find out.” She cocked her head. “People see things, hear things… And the rumors will start flying.” 

Kathryn closed her eyes, dreading the prospect. 

“And even if we do acknowledge it by then, it’ll be like we’re ashamed of us, like we’re embarrassed about our relationship.” B’Elanna continued.

Kathryn’s eyes flew open. “I’m not embarrassed to be with you. I’m proud of it.” She spoke.

B’Elanna smiled. “I know that, and while I understand you can’t flaunt it or make a shipwide announcement about us, we could just be seen in public together and not make a big deal out of it.” 

“Like at this barbecue?” Kathryn asked, still not convinced.

B’Elanna cocked her head. “It’s only a handful of people, twenty at the most, all of which I know pretty well. They’re my friends and I trust them.” She took her lover’s hand. “If we’re going to do this, we might as well start there.”

Kathryn let out a deep breath as she came to a decision. B’Elanna had a valid point.   
“Okay.” She spoke softly.

A broad grin appeared on the half-Klingon’s face. “You’ll come with me?” 

Kathryn nodded as she tried to suppress a nervous flutter in her stomach. “Yes.” 

~

Tom Paris took his two-pronged fork and poked the meat on the grill. “I’m telling you Harry,” he spoke, “these need at least another minute.” 

The young Asian man shook his head. “You’re going to burn them, just like before.”   
Tom looked at the people scattered around the cozy garden setting he’d created on the Holodeck. “I don’t see anyone complaining.” 

Harry’s eyebrows rose. “That’s because you’re scary when you wield that thing around.” He spoke, indicating the fork. “Hey, have you seen B’Elanna yet?” 

“No. And I forgot to tell you, she asked me earlier today if she could bring a date.” Tom threw a pointed look at his friend.

“A date?” Harry frowned. “Who would she bring as a date?” 

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Tom nodded. “So I told her ‘the more the merrier’.”

Just then a sausage spat open and as the fat made contact with the hot coals, a flame of fire shot up, drawing the men’s attention.

At same time, the doors opened at the other side of the Holodeck and Kathryn nervously followed her girlfriend inside. She had been half expecting shocked gasps and people staring, but no one really noticed them as they entered. 

“Alright.” B’Elanna spoke, gently placing her hand at the small of Kathryn’s back to guide her. “Let’s go say hi to Tom first.” 

Kathryn took a deep breath and smiled uneasily at some of the crew members who recognized her. 

At the grill, Harry put a piece of chicken on Susan Nicoletti’s plate and frowned. He turned to Tom. “Did you invite the Captain?” 

Tom followed his gaze to Janeway approaching them, wearing a flowery dress. “No.” He replied, confused. “What is she doing here?” 

Harry shrugged. “Ah, there’s B’Elanna. I was beginning to think she wasn’t coming.”   
Tom’s eyes widened and he poked his friend in the ribs. “The Captain is B’Elanna’s date.” He spoke in surprise as he figured it out.

“What?” Harry exclaimed as he turned to the other man. “No way.”

“Quiet.” Tom hissed as the two women were on their way to them. “If not her, then who else would it be?” 

Harry looked around at the other people but couldn’t see anyone who could be B’Elanna’s date. “Maybe she didn’t bring anyone after all.” 

“Then why is the Captain here?” Tom whispered vehemently before shutting up and putting on a smile as the women reached them. 

“You’re wrong.” Harry said through his smile, hoping that Tom wouldn’t embarrass Janeway.

“Captain, what a nice surprise!” The cocky helmsman welcomed Janeway with a broad smile. 

Kathryn nodded gracefully, trying to ignore the nervousness she felt. “Thank you for the extended invitation.” She smiled. 

“No problem.” Tom answered. He grabbed two plates and handed them to B’Elanna, then used his fork to poke at the meat on the grill. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted my sausage.”

As Janeway’s eyebrows rose, B’Elanna rolled her eyes. The half-Klingon gently nudged her lover and nodded at the bar. “Will you get us something to drink while I grab us some meat here?”

Kathryn grinned. “Ok. But I’ll have steak. No sausage for me.” 

Then she turned around and headed for the bar.

“So, you’re dating the Captain.” Tom said in disbelief as soon as Kathryn was out of earshot. 

“Yes.” B’Elanna nodded and she regarded him sternly. “Was that sausage joke really necessary?”

“Oh come on!” Tom exclaimed. “She could take it!” 

As B’Elanna rolled her eyes, Harry put two steaks on the plates. “So, you and the Captain…” He spoke, still trying to wrap his mind around it. “How did that happen?” 

“Yeah.” Tom grinned. “We want all the details. And don’t be afraid to use words like ‘forbidden’ or ‘dirty’.” 

B’Elanna snorted. “Ok, yeah. Protocol ‘forbids’ me to share any ‘dirty’ secrets.” 

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.” Tom shrugged. “But seriously, how long has this been going on? I didn’t even know you had a thing for her.”

“Shows how much you know, huh?” B’Elanna replied smugly, knowing how Tom hated to be out of the loop on those things.

“You’re not going to tell me anything, are you?” Tom sighed and Harry supportively patted him on the back.

B’Elanna cocked her head. “All you need to know is that we’re together and that it’s serious.” She smiled as her lover approached, holding two glasses of wine.   
“We gave you the scoop on this. That has to count for something.”

A gleam appeared in Tom’s eyes as he thought of the hundred-something people on the ship that hadn’t heard this delightful new gossip yet. 

“Well then,” he spoke with a smile, “let me be the first to congratulate you both.”

~

“Won’t it be weird if we go in together?” Kathryn asked, trying to suppress the nervous flutter she felt in her stomach.

B’Elanna cocked her head and looked at her lover as the turbolift continued its way up. “Wouldn’t it be weirder if we didn’t?” 

Kathryn looked at her for a moment, before nodding. “I suppose.”

B’Elanna grabbed the other woman’s hand and gently squeezed it. “Relax, it’s just a briefing. We’re not on trial here.” 

“I know.” Kathryn replied. “But I feel like people will be watching my every move. I don’t want it to look like I’m giving you special treatment.” 

B’Elanna grinned. “But you ARE giving me special treatment.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Or do you do that thing that you did to me last night to other people as well?” 

Kathryn had the good decency to blush a little as she playfully swatted her lover. “Stop it.” She grinned. “You’re not going to make me walk in there all flustered.” 

At that, the turbolift doors opened and both women walked the short way to the Briefing Room, smiling as they entered.

Everyone was already present and Janeway walked straight to her chair. “Good morning.” She spoke as she sat down, accessing her PADD. “Alright. Let’s hear from the department heads. Chakotay?” 

As the Commander addressed a problem with the duty assignments of Tuvok’s security staff, both women gave him their professional attention and kept doing so during the entire briefing. 

At the end of the meeting Neelix leaned forward, rubbing his hands. “Ah, Captain, if I may…” 

Janeway smiled and nodded. “Of course Neelix.” 

The Talaxian briefly glanced in Tom’s direction before he spoke. “It has come to my attention that you and Lieutenant Torres are, well, together and I wanted to congratulate you both on that and wish you nothing but happiness.” 

Kathryn smiled shyly and briefly scanned the room, only seeing friendly faces. “Thank you Neelix. That’s very kind of you.” She scraped her throat and looked around the table, this time making eye contact with everyone as she spoke. “On that subject, I know that this relationship is technically against protocol. If you would hear any complaints about this from your subordinates, I’d like to be notified about that.” She looked at B’Elanna and her face softened involuntarily. “Lieutenant Torres and I will keep our personal lives separate from our work as much as possible, given the circumstances.” 

“Oh, who could be against such a beautiful couple.” Neelix interjected boisterously. “This is a joyous occasion! I’d even say one that calls for a party!” 

“I don’t think that’s necessary Neelix.” Kathryn stopped the Talaxian before he fully got going. “I meant what I said about keeping this low profile.” 

Neelix nodded meekly, and Kathryn hoped she’d effectively nipped this in the bud.

“Now, if there’s nothing else?” She looked around the table. “Dismissed everyone.”

~

“Everyone I passed in the hallway today seemed especially friendly. I could swear even Ensign Vorik smiled at me.” Kathryn spoke as she lazily drew circles on B’Elanna’s abdomen.   
“Maybe they’re all hiding their disapproval about us behind polite smiles.” She added, only half-joking.

Although Kathryn couldn’t see her lover’s face since the half-Klingon was lying in her arms on the sofa, she was sure that the other woman was rolling her eyes. 

“I think people are just curious, that’s all.” B’Elanna replied lightly. “They want to fit this new piece of information with what they already know about us, or they want to see if we’ve changed somehow.” B’Elanna shrugged. “Or maybe they just don’t care and they all had a particularly good they and that’s why they were smiling.” 

“You think the crew doesn’t care?” Kathryn asked, needing the confirmation.

“Oh, they care.” B’Elanna answered. “They don’t mind, but I know for a fact that they care.” She snorted. “I overheard a conversation -actually it was more of an argument- between Chell and Parsons, about which one of us would be on top in bed.” 

Kathryn’s eyes widened in surprise. “What?” 

“Apparently,” B’Elanna elaborated, “Chell believes I would be on top because you need a break from ordering everyone around and would like to be dominated for once.” 

Kathryn spluttered indignantly before B’Elanna continued. “Parsons agreed that in any other situation I’d indeed be on top. But he firmly believes that you are the only one on board who could –and I quote ‘tame me’- so in this particular situation, you’d be the one holding the reigns in this relationship.” 

Kathryn bit her lip and sighed deeply. “When will they be released from Sickbay?” 

B’Elanna sat up. “I didn’t touch them. In fact they don’t even know that I heard them.” She stated smugly. 

“But?” Kathryn added, sensing that the other woman was holding something back. 

“But let’s just say they’ll be surprised to find out that they volunteered to manually scrub the plasma injectors next week.” 

Kathryn bit her lip, smiling. “I can’t say I would’ve blamed you if you’d broken a few noses this time…” 

B’Elanna shrugged and grinned mischievously. “Anger management baby. This way I get my revenge AND clean plasma injectors.”

“Are you sure you won’t get in trouble with the Captain?” Kathryn asked playfully. 

Wiggling her eyebrows, B’Elanna moved to straddle her lover. “I have a way of getting out of trouble with the Captain if necessary.” 

“Really?” Kathryn purred as B’Elanna bent down and captured her lips for a slow and sensual kiss that left her out of breath. 

“Mmm, stop.” She moaned as things were heating up, breaking the contact. 

B’Elanna threw her a questioning look.

Kathryn threw the other woman a sultry look. “I believe it’s my turn to be on top tonight…” 

~~~ THE END ~~~


End file.
